There I was standing on the edge of the bridge. Knowing what had to be done, and knowing what was going to happen when I jumped. It was a very tall bridge, I would say about 100 or maybe 200 feet above the water. The water was real shallow probally not even a foot.1
I was nervouse for I never thought that the happenings in my life would bring me this far, but I knew it had to be done. As I was about to jump I started to get flash backs on all the bad things that had happened to me in my life.2
September 16, 1997:3
A man followed me home from school, I didn't make it home at the time I was supposed to. He came up behind me and pulled me into an alley, i screamed but no one seemed to hear me. He raped me and through me in the middle of the road naked, having to walk 3 more blocks in no clothing just bare white, pale skin. Everyone pointing and laughing not even caring enough to ask me if I was okay.4
I made it home and my mother was high on her usual stuff, a little bit of coke, weed, pills, and many more. She stared at me with her blood shot eyes as I came through the door and walked up the stairs naked. Not even asking me what happened. Thats when I realized she didn't care about me, and my father well he died when I was two, so he wasnt there to support me either. I just closed my door and cried heavily into my pillow.5
January 12, 2000:6
My mother came home, drunk and high. She pushed me around hitting me for no reason. Now me trying to be the civalized young man I thought I was I let her do it. I didn't want to hit her back becuase I knew I was better than that. It got worse as the night went on, beating me with anything she could find. Leaving life long scars on my body. When it was over i once again went up to my room and cried in my pillow.7
Over the years the same things continued. So here I am ready to jump. I hope that God will accept me into his kingdom. For i couldn't bare to live in hell again!8
Goodbye cruel World......9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Interesting
This was a good effort. It does have drama and content and plenty of detail about the main character. Sometimes though not everyone sees the same thing in a story. Keep writing. -
Look at this story compared to your first one..I won't accept anything less than your best effort, I'm not saying it has to be perfect, but from reading your other story...i know you can do a hell of a lot better than this..enter again
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You Really think that? I mean come on. It does have a story line. IN the opening of the story it tells what the character is doing. Then in the middle it tell the reader what lead the character up to doing what he was going to do. Then in the end he does it. That sounds like a good enough story line to me. I will admit it needs some work done to it. But I was in a hurry and typing really fast trying to get all I wanted in there. But yeah I know its not my best...
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umm...dude...this needs a lot of help..no plot, no story line, simple scentences, nothing that would merit outstanding writing. This story needs serious help. If you want it, i can help you, but you gotta be ready and willing to get rid of alot and rewrite alot.
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