Back There, Not Too Long Ago

Ah, of those lost days. The days when I would go to the field. The days when I was home. 1

I had always taken it for granted, being surrounded by people I love. Some of them even loved me back. If I had a hundred years to say goodbye to them, Im not sure if there would be enough time. Even the people who annoyed the hell out of me. Especially the people in the background of my life. But I had only two weeks. I always was a procrastinator.2

It's so different over here. And not for the better. There's no one on that I consider a friend. I have many acquaintances, most in a positive way, but no one to talk to. I only get by day to day by remembering that I will visit. I survive the fights and smiles. But only out of nostalgia. Only because there are people who I care about, who care back. Even if they are half a country away.3

I remember going to the beach with my sister and her boyfriend and my first love. We had brought nothing to swim in, so we wore our clothes. We wanted to sleep there, but there were so many mosquitoes that we decided against it.4

I remember sitting in the field, hazily listening to the guitar. I would do that almost every day, even when there was nothing to do. It was my favorite time, those days. Most of those people, I never got to say goodbye to. Although I doubt they rather minded. 5

My life here consists of going to school, and when I get home reading or watching a movie. Nobody to talk to over the phone. No one to come back home with me, so that we could talk. Nobody to talk to even living under my roof. I just miss out on those days that I took for granted so much. My life has caved in on me, and it took me so much time to realize that there's nothing and no one to support me from falling anymore.6