so i am downtown sitting on a bench eating a banana reading a book and listening to a cd on my personal cd player when an old women comes and sits near me and starts staring. 1
now i know shes there and i can see her lips moving and i know shes talking but hey like i am busy eating reading and listening to music but her mouth just keeps moving and she just goes on and on.2
so i cant take it any more and i take out one...only one mind you... earphone cos i am not giving into her that much and i say cant you see i am busy...i am eating a banana reading a book and listening to music. so she pisses off. but not very far away. shes now sat on a bench opposite me and shes staring at me. what the fuck..i feel bad but im not going to let her get to me with her glaring so i smile at her..just to show something like maybe I wasn’t mad at her or whatever. and then she goes and comes back and stands in front of me...oh so now the old bugger is gonna tell me off or beat me in is she...i remove the headphones once more.both of them this time…determination has set in to see this thing through...and she asks if i will buy 10 fags off her for a quid as she wants to buy some fruit.well this is a new begging scam on me but she is old so I capitulate immediately and get ripped off because I only take half of her fags give her the quid and then she walks off to a nearby fruit stall and i am really watching her this time ...betting that she walks right past it and it was all a con trick...but she doesnt she actually buys some bananas. all i need have done was give her a bite of my banana. But then theres more because I must be wearing a coat or something saying old women queue for a chat here because then another old woman starts talking to me and says that it was nice of me to give a quid for some fags and I say. yes it was wasnt it because i am homeless myself temporarily living in a womens refuge....so she says oh yes and smiles politely...so i say it again..yes it was nice of me because I am homeless I have barely enough money myself as the social are dragging their heels as they do and wouldnt it be nice if old ladies stuck together and helped each other out and made friends and went for cups of tea together in cafes and spoke to each other and she still nods pleasantly and smiles at me so i say did you hear what i said very loudly to the nodding dog woman thinking she must be deaf and she says that she did and then she nods and smiles yet again. no actual real response there at all…. feel like my brain slipped down a few notches into the nodding dog dimension.3
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Hooves applauds!
These old ladies remind me of my human. She comes around and I ignore her, but sometimes she only wants to be nice. But I never know so I am on my guard at all times with all humans. It sounds nicer when you sit in England where there are quids instead of quarters. I enjoyed reading this so thank you! I wish I was an English Bull in a meadow, mooing at the sunset.
Edited on Nov 29, 6:24 because 'because I misspelled the word "sit" and wrote "site"'. -
This says so much. It's a wonderful portrait of selfishness as a part of human nature and guilt. You seriously need to collect your stories into a short story collection and get it published. When you do that (I don't consider it to be an if) I will buy a copy.
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hereya' go...uh, it's in the damn coffee cup, oh well!
sherry in coffee? Huh...hah, now That's Bananas, or..maybe not, why not, lolol, soooo...
ramblin hot sherry...
Y'knowwww...i somehow, yeah, relate a lot to your ramblings and have to admit, i ramble, oh do i...
i realllllly like LaPlinky...ponk!
seems to me I ain't alone!
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i am always surprised and really pleased when people get something out of my ramblings like they are a friend listening to me rambling on we should have had a bottle of wine as well and i you would have encouraged me to tell you loads more and then we would have got really drunk and stayed up chatting until the early morning aah how nice it would have been but at least with the pc we all get to chat and remain non alcoholics i suppose....pass the sherry
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loved it!
well, I simply liked it as it was as i am somewhat that way, myself, lolol...I say fuck the caps and all and in honesty, forme it worked here as this may be a story, but for me it's poetic and has a heart and soul and a view one wasn't quite expecting, the narrator didn't strike me as she turned out to be and I LOVED THAT BECAUSE THAT IS...WELL, LIFE...can't ever really tell if you simply just kind of look...even the narrator is most surprised when the first old lady buys the bananas and then I...Oh, I love the twists and turns of irony/reality and...okay, so maybe I am nuts, okay, so I am, but I also, also like the use of the bananas, because in a way...they all were, and I feel I can say That as I am also, though I prefer the narrator and the 1st old lady to the doglike noddin 3rd, and yet wonder why...why? because, maybe some poeple just don't want to know or can't or...Oh, Hell, I loved it...Plink, there is I don't know, something for me about your words, there is this raw human truth and...I may be way off and looking for (or not, maybe just seeing or feeling more) than meets the eye...or be simply way off, BUT...again, in a way, that is why it was kind of a prose type poem story and whatever I saw, whatever you meant...I LOVED IT, I JUST DID, Soooo...
Thanks!
mich -
im not sure what to say.... it ws different.... it was good, but different. lol great job!
~V.
keep on eating our bananas -
This would make a great story to be told late at night around a campfire or something. No, not a campfire. A fireplace. It is not that it is scary, but mainly just b/c i am a little cold and would like the heat.
I love hearing your accent in this piece. For the obvious words and things like 'fag' and 'quid' (which is what by the way, how many pounds, 5?) but also just your tone of voice seeps through like syrup. Not that its sweet, but, that it is having the qualities of seeping. And also b/c i have a sweet tooth right now and would very much like something sweet like syrup, on top of some pancakes. That, and a fireplace, and i would be set.
Wonderful story, plink. I feel your desire to be commended for being a good human being, while at the same time maintaing a decent sense of modesty. It always makes me feel good about myself when i'm modest. I bet i'm more modest than you are.
Peace,
Lo
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I don't know if you want any formating corrections or not but breaking up the fourth paragrph might help the reader. I got lost within the larg paragraph sometimes when trying to go to the next line. Other then that a very nice write
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rowrbazzle!
go plinks! i sense a tinge, however slight, of gertrude steinburger floating around here somewhere like one of the old women, waiting for a quid. gertrump is a spiffy writer. anyway. awesome story and as said above you used lots of repetition and as said above you used lots of repetition. i like this muchly cuz it's almost like something i would write....although mine probably wouldn't be as spiffy. -
oo i hate the fact that it put my lol into horrible crude bold letters. i put it between asterix's because that's what i used to do when i was a chatter, because that's what we did in the particular wonderful chatroom i used to go to full of brilliantly entertaining offbeatniks. shame.
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yeah! see there you go....if after the last story you then said 'and this other time....' and launched into this one you'd be on the way to a fantastic novel. just keep the whole thing rambling on and on. your public need you to do this!!! LOL
cue applause for m'lady! -
what the fuck is a quid? and why would anyone want one? Hey, you forgot to finish the story, what? is there a part 2 after the commercial break? do we have to wait until next week?
do you meet this woman later in the changing room for a game of marbles? -
Plinkling, well, well, well this isn't your normal style now is it (she says, after having read maybe five of your poems and thinking this gives her the right to make such an assumption)-what a revelation I say - I thought you only wrote after a couple of fairy cakes with sugary lsd tabby wabs instead of the olde rice paper - mmmmm angel cake. The colours, the colours.
I liked your story because it made me think of that stupid game when one has to remember what's in the shopping basket and add the thingy on each time because there was lots of repetition and stuff and no, no not just ONE bannana a whole bunch of them.
I hate the word bannana though
I never know when I did spell it right and I'm very aware of the bannana vortex that makes you type bannnananannananananannananannananananannanananananananananananananannan aannanananananananananananana forever - because it's a very hard word - but look. You used it lots and lots. You escaped the curse.
and like, i liked it
and like, that's really kewl
and like, the total lack of like capslocks, i thought you might be trying a mr cummings, but like - i think it's kinda a parody of teen america right? and like, morals? right?
and like, it's smashing
and i laughed and laughed
Edited on Jan 27, 3:05 p.m. because ''.
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