Daddy

“Daddy?”1

Who knew one small voice could change a guy forever? Who knew one look into those big blue eyes after a terrible week could change everything? Who knew one small girl could save a grown adults life?2

21-year-old Jake Wilson looked up from what he was staring at and managed a weak smile for his three-year-old daughter, Carissa Gabriella. The little girl was standing at the doorway to the cramped dark kitchen, her ragged blue baby blanket trailing at her feet.3

“Hey princess. What are you doing awake?” asked Jake quietly, his voice a bit hoarse. 4

The little shrugged and walked up to her father, motioning him to pick her up. He easily obliged, pulling her into his lap and cradling her against his chest. She curled up instantly, her tiny body rather cold because the electric had been shut off for over a month now. Jake barely had enough money to buy enough food, let alone pay very many bills.5

“I couldn’t sleep daddy. I think there are monsters in the closet again,” said Carissa and Jake let out a small sigh, knowing Carissa always thought there were monsters in the closet, even though he checked it for her every night.6

“I just checked the closet before you went to bed Cari. How can there be monsters in there?” he asked, easing his way out of the chair he was sitting in, still holding his daughter close.7

“Can you check again?” asked Cari, her eyes wide once again as she looked at her father.8

Jake gently placed Cari down and took a deep breath before nodding to his daughter. “Sure princess. You go into the room and I’ll be there in a few minutes.9

Jake sighed, knowing Cari would never go to bed if he didn’t check. He knew he’d be up the rest of the night, trying to figure out how much money he’d be able to spend this week on food. He was hoping to have a little left over this week, because Carissa’s fourth birthday was coming up and he wanted to buy her at least a small toy. She didn’t have much of anything, her blanket being her most prized possession.10

Jake hated how he couldn’t provide anything but little food for his daughter. Carissa deserved so much more than what she got, but he couldn’t afford anything less. The apartment they lived in was falling apart. The roof was leaking, the one window they had was slightly cracked, and the walls were old and needed re-done. The entire house was worth nothing, and he still needed a way to come up with the 250 dollars for the rent.11

“Daddy, are you coming?” asked Cari from that same spot in the doorway, and Jake snapped out of his thoughts to go tend to his daughter.12

He rechecked the closet and told Cari what he had told her every night, that the closet was monster free. He then proceeded to put her back into bed, tuck her in, and give her a goodnight kiss before waiting for a few moments before getting up to walk back out into the kitchen/living room.13

“Daddy?” mumbled Cari sleepily, and Jake stopped at the door, looking back.14

“What’s up care bear?” asked Jake quietly and Carissa yawned sleepily.15

“I love you daddy,” she said and Jake took a deep breath, knowing he was going to break down the second he left his daughter’s sight,16

“I love you too baby girl,” he whispered, feeling the tears burn at his eyes.17

He stood at the wall, trying to steady his breathing. He thought once more of the life he lived, the life he was making for his daughter, the love of life, the one girl in this entire world that seemed to matter. He thought of how much that little girl still needed him, how much she loved him.18

Jake thought of all of this, and without a second’s hesitation, he walked over to the small kitchen table, and threw the knife he had out, throwing away his thoughts of killing himself with it. 19