The Adventures of Commander Boot

“Thank you for coming, commander” said Mr. Slyde. Commander Boot nodded his head slightly and looked quickly around the small room. He was in Mr. Slyde’s living room. The room was quite dim, as two of the lightbulbs on the overhead light were burnt out. There were wooden, African tribal masks adorning the wall to Commander Boot’s right, and several empty birdcages were stacked up by the wall to his left. The room was very cluttered. There were two large couches, covered with books and papers and a roll-top desk with five stacks, about three feet high each, of books. There were many more piles of books and papers strewn across the room.1

“What would your incredible emergency be, Mr, Slyde?” asked the Commander. Mr. Slyde looked around nervously. He whispered something to Commander Boot, but he was so quiet, it was practically inaudible.2

“Come again?” asked the Commander. Mr. Slyde gave him an exasperated look and whispered it again. Commander Boot gasped.3

“No!” he said. Mr. Slyde nodded sadly.4

“But it’s impossible!” the Commander exclaimed.5

“That’s what I said, but I was not able to escape,” Mr. Slyde put his hand up to his forehead dramatically, “SO now I am being forced to-“ He never finished. Just as he was about to utter the terrible truth, he was struck in the head by a flying potato! Commander Boot looked around, wondering where this potential French fry had come from. He was knocked off balance by a…flying CARROT! He fell to the floor and picked up the carrot. As he had been the one who had been struck, he still had no idea where the healthy treat had come from. He paused a moment as he chewed the carrot thoughtfully.6

“Carrots are quite good for your eyesight,” he said. This was quite irrelevant to his case, although it is a very good, and possibly the only, thing to be learned from this story. Commander Boot stood up as he finished off the carrot, and looked towards the kitchen just in time to see a tomato being flung in his general direction.7

“What happened?” asked Mr. Slyde. He had just sat up, only to be knocked out again by the tomato that the Commander had just dodged. Commander Boot ran towards the kitchen, as he now knew where the preposterous perpetrator of personal privacy was hiding.8

“Ah ha!” he cried as he raced into the kitchen. He looked around in wide-eyed curiosity. He noticed that everything in the kitchen was chrome!9

“That’s odd,” he noted. He was so busy examining the chrome tiles on the floor, that he didn’t notice the dark figure escaping out of the house and back to the place from which it came. He walked back into the living room, where Mr. Slyde was now recovering, and now wary or flying vegetables.10

“Tomatoes are fruits, actually,” the Commander commented. Maybe there is another lesson here.11

“As I was about to say, I am now forced to-“ Mr. Slyde never finished his sentence. The author got bored of his character and threw a potato at the computer screen. It hit Mr. Slyde in the head, and he was rushed to the “attacked by mysterious vegetables (or fruits)” ward at the local hospital.12

THE END!13