Best Twin: The Crime1
By Nikki2
Thought the deed I have committed is horrific, I feel no remorse, but instead, relief. While I love my sister, I no longer have to feel like I’m not as good as her. As the only twin, I have no one to better than me. 3
That was not the first time I had attempted to harm my sister. I have tried to three other times.4
Su-yeon, my twin, has always been out mothers shining star. She is slimmer, smarter, kinder, and even prettier than me. 5
I can remember very well the first time I tried to kill her. What had set me off was the love and affection she receives from her mother. Once when we got our report cards, her grades of course, were all in the nineties. My grades had improved greatly and were in the seventies and eighties. Mother had given her praise and a hug. Afterwards she only turned to me and said, “Good job, Su-mi,” and left for work, leaving Su-yeon and me alone. 6
I walked to the kitchen to get a knife and attempted to kill Su-yeon for the first time. She screamed, ran for her bedroom, and locked the door. I stabbed and hit the door furiously, but to no avail. Eventually I gave up and when Mother got home, I got into serious trouble.7
The second time I tried to kill Su-yeon was when she went with my boyfriend to the prom. I thought he had loved me just as I loved him, but I was wrong. He had asked me out just to get to 8
Su-yeon. The burning flame of my heart had been extinguished.9
Mother had to work, so once more Su-Yeon and I were alone. While she was in her room, putting on her last bit of makeup I went into her room. Unfortunately she had seen me with my knife, and ran into her bathroom screaming bloody murder. I pounded on the door, but, once more, got nowhere so again I gave up quickly.10
The third and final attempt occurred when I brought home a stray yorky puppy. I pleaded with mother to let me keep it. But oh no, we couldn’t risk giving Su-yeon an asthma attack, could we? So, the next time Su-yeon and I were alone, I decided to get rid of her for good. I took out a knife and chased Su-yeon into the bathroom. I kicked the door down in my mad rage and walked towards Su-yeon who was cowering in the shower with her back turned to me. I stabbed her in her back until she was dead.11
Best Twin: The Conclusion12
By Nikki13
I knew that to get away with my crime, I would have to play my cards just right. I called Mother and pretended to cry. I told her Su-yeon was home alone and someone had broken into the house and stabbed her to death with our knife. 14
My Mother believed me, whether it was because of stupidity or denial, and the police could find no evidence I had killed Su-yeon. Yes, I had played it just right.15
Now, two years later, I can still see in my mother’s sorrowful eyes that she wishes it were me that was dead. And in a way I am. I spend most of my time in my room alone, away from her, for I cannot bear to see the way she looks at me. I still am and always will be second best to those that knew Alex.16
And now I wish only to get rid of my miserable, not good enough, existence. I sit in my room, on my bed, writing down the truth, with a razor next to me.17
I only pray that god does not look down on me as everyone else has and can forgive me for my sins, although I still feel no regret. I know that even if I were to go to Heaven, I will even be looked at as second best when compared to Su-yeon, just as in life, by all other angels.18
19
Author notes
for those of you who read it before, I just changed Terras name to Su-mi and Alex's name to Su-yeon. please comment or criticize, I'd love to know what you think of it. ^_^
Option 2...
A contest entry
- Welcome to storywrite! The first contest! by Kevin.
130 points, ended April 2, 2006, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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It's so weird; I love this
Hah.
I must have problems.
I also am obsessed with twins...lol.
But really. I liked this.
I'm Taylor, by the way!
Good job.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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Guilty.
She was only better than you.
But she was not perfect.
You could have used your anger constructively and out done her. You could have become better. You could have set it as your goal. Be glad when a sister takes a boyfriend away from you; it shows him as the loser he is. And get on with life.
From the kind of mother you had; I would not have wanted first place in her life.overall: 6.
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that was sooooooooooo awsomeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it kind of make you think you were in the storie i wish i could write like that
overall: 10.
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3: "I have no one to better than me. "
5: single ideas per line doesn't integrate well into the story. find a way to show us instead of telling us.
5: out -> our
This was scarey wierd
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Intriguing!! I love the idea behind this story. A few minor grammatical errors but thy don't take away from the story itself. Great job; good luck!!
~dramaqueen469~ -
I like the concept you have here, the contempt that the human heart can hold is quite an astonishing thing. I have to reccomend that you re-read this, you have several spelling errors. Good luck!
-crimsonshadow- -
Thank you, and im sorry to hear that. I just hope it doesn't end up like in the story. ^_^
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wow that was amazing. i lovesd the plot of the story.im the older sister and my parents love my lil sister soo much mre then me .. but oh well, thats life. great story.keep it up
love paige -
thank ya very much. I hope so too, that would be bad, no matter whos twin siss/bros they are!
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First I liked to say that the piece was great. I liked the twist, I never hope my twin brothers go thruough something like this.
FROM: GADSDEN HIGH SCHOOL -
your a very talented writer..this is the stuff i like reading
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thank you. Its based off how two crappy friends of mine will eventually have one stab the other in the back, just as they have done me.
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wow. I must say this had me intrigued. I love it! It's so eerie how Terra was so cold to her sister. It's so dark and powerful. Wonderful write.
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