Fears only call

Dear diary:1

I want to tell you a story. The love story that changed my life… the betrayal that changed my heart…2

“There you were standing there, just out of my sight; but I could still see your shadow. I could smell your cologne. I could practically taste the sweetness of your lips. I almost felt you, even in that shadow your warmth radiated. Since the night we were together that was all I could think about. I couldn’t wait until the next time we could be together again. My body craved the warmth of your skin, the passion of your kiss and the feel of your hands caressing my body… I had to have. And so I did.3

I’ll never forget the day you fist told me you loved me. It was March 23rd; we were on spring vacation at the beach. It was so hot that day but I didn’t care as long as I was sweating with you. (It was one of my favorite past-times in any form). We went to get a snow cone from the stand on the boardwalk, hand in hand, when suddenly you stopped. You looked around, grabbed both of my hands, and told me you would love me forever. I asked you how you could possibly know that. What did you say? ‘Because a heart can claim only one true love in a lifetime.’ I melted. At that moment I knew that no matter what came our way, we would be incapable of being apart.4

For many months in the hot and sticky nights we snuck out to be with each other. I swear being with you was indescribable; it could make me feel like the only girl alive, even though everyone could hear. It made me feel invigorated and happy and beautiful. I never wanted to stop.  I remember that one week that changed my life; our lives really, but instead of freaking out like me, you told me everything would be alright. In the end the only thing that mattered was our love, and nothing would change that. 5

I found out it was true. I was pregnant. I never cried so hard in my life. You cried along side me. We would face these things together… that is what you said. I swear to God that any woman on earth would have believed you. So why did you lie? 6

I was blinded from the start. I never even thought to listen to the advice of my parents. What did they know? I never once thought about the consequences of my actions. All I ever thought about is you. … And you failed me. 7

I began to see less and less of you. As the baby began to show my parents found out, and thought to seek you out too. I was only three months along. I thought about an abortion but my parents wouldn’t allow it. Adoption was a thought, but how would I be able to give it up? You moved away. How could you do that? Move away when you said I was your life, you love your everything? How did you leave me alone with your child? I was so scared. I was on my own I thought. No one understood me or how I got here. I couldn’t even claim love because if it had been, you would still be here. 8

One night a few weeks later I got a call from you. You said that you had been gone getting a place for us, so we could be together in peace. We were going to get married. Oh and we were so close too! Dammed father had to ruin everything. He caught you and me and threatened to throw you in jail. But I wasn’t going to let that happen. All I could hear was the sound of fear calling my name. I couldn’t loose you again. 9

They never saw it coming the night that it happened, my mom and dad.  I slipped some herbs in my dad’s tea… not the good kind either. We went and got married that night, no one would stop us. When the police found my dad, the suspected a heart attack. The autopsy proved them right. We were free. But there was still the issue of a baby. Keeping it was out of the question. Adoption was too time consuming. I needed a miscarriage. So I left that up to you. You punched me in the stomach enough times, we thought that would do the trick, but somehow it only made things worse. Seven months later I gave birth to a retarded baby girl. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t deal with a normal child, how could I deal with this?” 10

“You fooled me. You tricked me and lied to me and deceived me. I hate you.” I said from behind the Plexiglas.11

“I’m sorry. I was scared. I didn’t want that life. I am sorry that it had to end this way.” He replied.12

“It wasn’t bad enough that you left me to fend for myself with a retarded baby, but then you call the cops? How is that love? How could you ever have even said you loved me at all?”13

“Because I did love you, I still do. But this was or destiny. You now have to accept it.”14

So I bet you want to know what happened. Perhaps you should read an excerpt from his diary:15

“I couldn’t take it anymore. The baby was driving me insane. I had to do it; I just had to; for my sanity….”16

An anonymous tip led the police to the house of Melissa Franklin where they found the body of 1 year old Andy Franklin beaten severely, floating upside down in a tub of water. Her mother was charged for the crime and investigated for the death of her father and convicted.17

“So now diary, I sit in jail. All that because of love while he goes free…when I get out, so will the truth. And never again will I hear Fears Only call. 18