She had been cheating on me. I new it from day one. Ever since I smelt that aftershave on her blouse... Ever since she came home at 11 instead of 9 that night. She was a traitor and she would pay.1
Our sweaty body's pressed against each other in the hot April night in Costa Bombay hotel. What a lovely choice of a vacation, though she would not enjoy it as much as I would. White satin sheets lay above us as we lay in the heat of the moment. We had been having sex. Some pretty wonderful sex that in any circumstance I would be joyous to remember. Now, it was filthy, the filthy bitch had cheated on me and none of it mattered. No love was there anymore only revenge and need of deep suffering and she would feel it.2
I pulled the knife from the drawer. My hand's grasped the handle as if I was a pro; this would be good. I new that I could feel the anger rising inside of me and the need to take my cheating girlfriends life overwhelmed me.3
"Johnathan, we need to talk about something important."4
That we do my dear, I thought as I aimed the sharp tip of the blade towards her back. I plunged, wanting mo more wait. The shrill that escaped her mouth was more joyful than any shrill I had heard from films as a youth. The sound of her energy going as I pulled her around and slashed her throat. Blood spilled onto my hands and all I could do was smile.5
The bitch was dead.6
But it wasn't enough to see her dead. I was going to make her pay beyond life - beyond death. 7
I lay the bloody knife to the side. The once beautiful white satin sheets now shone with crimson liquid. What a beautiful sight my love, what a beautiful sight... Do you love me now?8
I could feel the erotic pleasure building up as I begun to mount her. I used all my energy to rape her in any way I could, any way that was still possible while she lay dead on the bed, emotionless, heartless, thoughtless. No guilt pursued me. She came upon this herself, nobody cheated on me.9
I sliced carefully and almost in a caring way through her stomach. Her intestines shown; pinkish red squids with surrounded by seeping blood. What a beautiful sight. I reached my hand in and pulled them out. They felt strange... Just like I had imagined them to be. Just like the toddler down the road had felt... Rubbery, maybe. I wasn't really sure how to describe it, but the organ was beautiful, just like Katia had been. 10
I ran my hand up to her heart. That dead organ that had destroyed all my favour. That betraying, evil organ that should be destroyed beyond death... But I still loved it. 11
I licked the soft blood from the deceiving organ and licked my lips. Her bloody was so sweet, so innocent... What a lie her body told. I bit into the nasty organ and bloody squirted everywhere. My face was covered with dirtiness and the carpet stained. What did I care, I had destroyed it now... That organ had been destroyed, just like she had.12
But now, to the cheater's lover. I should leave him a present. That useless son of a bitch that I called a friend. He only lives five minutes away, wouldn't they surely send him here at the scene of the crime? 13
I smiled to myself. I got off the bed and went inside the draw beside the bed. A bag for sanitary towels lay in the bottom. A genius idea overtook me as I pulled the plastic bag out. I rubbed Katia's stomach further and with the blood on my finger I gradually spelt ADAM DONN in capital letters. Her blood served a good purpose after all.14
I needed no more to be on this earth than the woman who had betrayed me did. What did I have... Mother a whore, father a drunk... I didn't even have a brother anymore because he was in Rehab.15
I didn't need to be here.16
I picked up the knife again and slowly placed it in front of my throat. "Good bye, Johnathan, hello hell." I said, grinning as I sliced the last piece of life from me as I slowly and painfully bled to death.17
Author notes
This is VERY gory... Do not read if you are sensetive to these types of things.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is one of my very disturbing stories. I write a lot of disturbing stuff, but normally don't show the really really disturbing stuff... Nice and gorey for you guys, as it's fun. But yeah I love writing this. It didn't phase douglas though, my ex, but then again he was serial murderer material himself. Anyway peace this is Stef by the way.
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nice. but wasting blood is so bad. i still loved it though.. you sure you're not a murderer this was described in pretty good detail.. lol anyways great write.
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Amazing
Oh my god... This was amazing... A very disturbing and dark ending... Yet Fantastic at the same time... See this is the dark stuff I like... Not the pansy, Ugh... I got a 50% on my test, I am going to slit my wrists... A really fantastic write, I love the details and such... Great amounts of gore! A truly fantastic story... I hope you enjoy reading my series if you get the chance.... Amazing once again, written with passiona and brilliance... I love this story... It's hard to make something out of a story, and yet, you did... Great Job! -
This was a very interesting story. I thought you did a nice job taking the time to describe the scenes involved here. You made the main character of this piece seem very vivid. I did notice a few things that might make it read a little more smoothly, though.
In the second paragraph, you used the word "body's" when the plural is actually "bodies." The same is true for the word "hand's" in the next paragraph... no apostrophe is needed to make it plural, it is only "hands." Also in the second paragraph the word "new" should be "knew," and there should be an apostrophe for "girlfriends" - "girlfriend's".
In the fourth paragraph I think you wanted the word "no" instead of "mo". The word "shrill" is an adjective... in other words, you wanted a word like "scream", which could be described as in "the shrill scream that escaped her..."
In the paragraph where you licked her blood, you used the word "bloody" instead of "blood" twice.
I was only confused about one thing... at the beginning of the story the pair was on vacation, but then the man with whom Katia had cheated on the main character was said to live five minutes away...
I really loved the way you described the way the main character loved Katia's blood and satisfied his need for vengeance with it. The part about her intestines and her heart especially portrayed that. The conclusion of this story was also well written... you managed to convey his sudden disgust and hopelessness without going into needless details about his whole childhood and subsequent life, which would have detracted from the rest of the story. Overall, this was a well written piece with lots of great imagery. (Hope it was all right that I pointed out those few things.) I enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest, and keep up the good writing.
-Renae. -
Thanks for entering! Yes, indeed it is gory.Good Luck in my contest!
~Tuesday's Child -
Yes, this is rather gory. I like it a lot! I hate gory stuff, but then again, I love it! I think there's something wrong with that.
I don't care. Oh well. Good luck in Tuesdays Child's contest! <3 -silence
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