Becoming Calypso Chapter 5

Dr. Blaise recognized the set of her patients’ faces when she looked out into the waiting room. Both were twisted with fury, tongues bitten to contain spiteful retorts to the other. She called Katie back and prayed Rob would be easier to deal with than his sister by the time she got to him. The twins were walking past her, back to their mother, with completely calm faces. She recognized that look too, she thought sadly. Hopefully they would break through their emotionless mask soon enough.1

Katie stalked past the psychiatrist on her way to the couch, very nearly knocking over a potted plant on purpose. But Dr. Blaise was pleased to see that her patient had some control. 2

“Rob pissed me off today,” Katie explained, loudly, though it wasn’t necessary to explain. Dr. Blaise hadn’t raised four boys and a niece for nothing. “I guess I got bossy with the girls, and Rob walked in and was like, ‘God, Kate, lay off. You aren’t Kelly, so stop acting like you are.’”3

She shut her eyes tightly, as if holding off the anger. “He got into a fight with some kids at school, so he had a lot of anger that he couldn’t get out of his system because they stopped the fight before fists were involved. He was going to go and work off some steam, but Mom and Dad were angry at him about the fight and wouldn’t let him. So instead, he took it out me!” She was practically screaming, her fragile hold on her anger slipping away at the reminder of the injustice. She picked up a pillow that was lying on the couch and screamed into it, surprising Dr. Blaise.4

She nearly laughed at the girl, but she’d had siblings, once. She ignored the hitch in her breathing at the thought of those siblings. She had no right to help with family issues, not when her own were so crazy. Regardless, the silent scream seemed to have calmed Katie, so she was able to take a deep breath and continue, in a much subdued tone, “It hurt. I mean, Rob is the closest person in my life these days. I wasn’t trying to act like Kelly. I was just trying to be an older sister. And since Kelly is gone, I am the oldest.” The girl shrugged, looking as though the weight of the world were on her shoulders, instead of just the title of oldest of four. “Forgive me for acting like it.”5

When Dr. Blaise led Katie out of the waiting room, she wasn’t too surprised to see her lovely Hibiscus tree on its side, spilling soil across the white carpet. She was even less surprised to see Rob’s sneer and the challenge in his stance.6

Tell me it’s all okay, his eyes said. Lie to me again, he silently dared her. Like they all do.7

She sighed and beckoned him over. 8

Chapter 59

It didn’t take much skill to escape her room. There was a balcony there, and if you swung over it and hung from the railing then slid down the bars holding up the railing until your hands got to the balcony floor, you could drop down with relatively little discomfort upon landing. It didn’t take a genius to devise that method of escape either, in her mind, so she figured Liz and Ezra would know about it. Part of Callie was expecting to be caught as she made her way down to a playground she’d seen while driving with Liz, but she got there without notice.10

Callie sat down on a swing, waiting to be found. There were signs that clearly stated no one was allowed there after sundown, and it had been dark for at least three hours. She sighed, pulling her coat tighter around herself and watching her breath rise, thinking of home.11

The longer she went without being noticed, the more Callie was able to relax. The more she was able to let the calm of the evening, the cold, seep through her, stilling her inner brains. There was so much to think about, so much to deal with still. Not school. School was fine. She had friends, good ones with good hearts. She just thought it sucked that the only person they knew was a lie.12

That lie was what she was having a hard time dealing with, actually. And not just because she had to live with it now, but also because she had once lived a different story that she thought was the truth, but which turned out to be a lie. There had never been any truth in her life, she thought bitterly, not since she was an infant.13

Callie smiled as the tiny part of her brain that was still on her side, still believed that there was goodness in the world, argued violently that there had been four truths in her life, four loves that had believed she was the same as them, and still did.14

Except you lied, another, more vicious consciousness reminded her snidely. You lied, so they no longer believe in you. You’re dead to them.15

You had no choice. You have to let them believe you’re dead to let them live a free life. It’s why you were adopted to begin with.16

Psuedo-adopted. Given a false identity. The pessimist bit back.17

Callie laughed grimly, remembering that cruel moment. Agent O’Neill, who had been introduced as Ms. O’Neill, had stood when she entered the living room, walked briskly over to Callie, shutting and locking the door behind her. Then O’Neill had turned to Callie, stuck her hand out, and said simply, “It’s so good to see you again, my child.”18

It was so clear, looking back, Callie thought sadly, the colors bright and vivid as her mind recreated the scene in the open air around me. Her mom and dad were sitting on the sofa, her dad looking down at his hands, her mom crying. “What’s going on?” Callie asked.19

“We have to tell you the truth,” her dad whispered.20

“You aren’t our biological daughter,” her mom said calmly, after taking a deep breath, stopping the tears. She met Callie’s eyes, tilting her chin upwards, her jaw set, as if she was proving to O’Neill that she could be rational and emotionless about the situation. “O’Neill brought you to us when you were a newborn, asked us to take you in.”21

Callie had stumbled back in shock. Remembering it, she clenched her hands tightly around the metal chain, pumping her feet harder to make the swing go higher and higher, feeling the rush of the wind around her, drying the sweat that was forming as the memory caught Callie in its grips.22

“I created you,” O’Neill had said then, after Callie’s mother’s cruel admission, “and they took you in with the understanding that you’d have a normal childhood, learning things that would be essential for your position, in exchange for me not recruiting their own children for the position you will play.”23

On the swing, Callie hit the highest height possible and let go, flying through the air, feeling the clarity that came with the sense of escaping gravity, even for those few measly seconds. It helped block the pain that tore through her as she remembered how casually O’Neill had mentioned Callie’s fate- losing the life she had, to become O’Neill’s secret weapon. Callie was sentenced to two years of training, then a life of service to the secret government organization O’Neill headed. Officially, it was known as the Agency for the Development of Experimental Protection Techniques by those who absolutely needed to know of its existence, a group limited to a very select few beyond the agents themselves. Even fewer were aware of its true purpose- that it goes far beyond developing experimental protection techniques, to actually using those “experiments” for the defense of the nation. 24

She was one.25

And Natalie O’Neill, the heart and brains of what was known by its agents as ADEPT, was her creator.26

Callie landed hard on her feet as these thoughts rushed into her head, but she overbalanced and ended up rolling on the woodchips, feeling their bite as the wind rushed out of her. She ended up on her back, staring up at the stars, taking deep breaths and thinking about how cruel the world could be. How unforgivable and selfish gravity was, anthropomorphizing both in her mind to get around thinking about the cruel parents she’d thought she had.27

In reality, she thought sadly, bitterly, she’d always been an orphan. The people with whom she shared some of what she thought of as her bastardized DNA, they’d been dead since before she was born. All she knew was that they had been part of ADEPT, once. They’d worked for ADEPT, like the people Callie thought were my parents once had. Like Ezra and Liz did. Like she would.28

But my siblings never would, and she thanked every deity she’d ever heard of for that. ADEPT ruined lives, and the four people Callie still counted as her true family, whatever the difference in their blood, would forever be saved from them, because Callie had been sacrificed instead.29

Callie scrambled to her feet and ran back to the swings, vaulting up to catch the bar, swinging her body forward, then up on the backswing to pull herself up onto the bar. It was a little higher than a standard balance beam, but it was available, and Callie desperately needed a routine, something to close her mind off from the thoughts dashing through it, the ones trying to convince her of her own unworthiness, convince her that she was little more than an abomination, a genetic experiment. Who knows how badly they messed me up, she thought bitterly, how changed I am? For all I know, I could be an entirely different species, alone in this world. Isn’t that why I faint, why I can’t deal with my own emotions? I’m not human enough to feel emotion while I must think rationally.30

Even the routine wasn’t helping much, she realized suddenly, as she spun around once, walked carefully forward out of the spin. It didn’t change the fact that she was a monster.31

“Callie?”32

She knew it was Joel from the sound of his voice, but she still crouched down, trying to reduce her target area, making it harder for someone to hit her. Joel’s chuckle did more to reassure Callie’s calculating mind than his face did.33

“You were trained well, Calliena Laines. What brings you here?”34

Callie moved to one end of the swing set. “Thinking,” she answered honestly as she lined up for her dismount.35

“Heavy thoughts, I imagine,” Joel murmured, looking carefully at his friend’s face. Callie shrugged then began to run, springing forward and stretching out simultaneously, to land on her hands and spring up from them, back onto her feet to push off for a double backflip to the ground. It wasn’t much, but it lasted longer than normal, because she was higher off the ground. With Joel there, Callie felt safer, like the company prevented her from creating alternate personas in my mind, other Callies that would argue back at her, with the same rational thought processes that she herself possessed, doubling the confusion already present. Joel held them at bay, even though his gasp put her dismount as slightly off, requiring her to hop forward rather than sticking the landing as best she could, considering the surface.36

“How the hell did you do that?” He swore when Callie landed, wincing at the ground, which was harder than the mats usually were.37

“Learned in gymnastics.”38

“They taught you how to flip off the swing set?”39

“I adjusted for the height difference between a typical balance beam and this swing set.”40

“You can do that in your head?”41

“Not at all hard,” she laughed before remembering that perhaps that wasn’t the best admission. There was something about Joel that inspired confidence, and made her drop her guard with him on a regular basis.42

“Wow. I didn’t realize you understood physics that well.”43

Callie laughed at him, at the definite jealous note in his tone, just barely hiding his sudden suspicions, trying to cover. “I’ve been studying physics for awhile. I have a healthy curiosity.”44

“Unhealthy, if it makes you attempt stunts like those.”45

“I’ll have you remember that I didn’t attempt it, I accomplished it.”46

He laughed, walking over to come join Callie where she sat on the ground, stretching her limbs. “You are a strange girl, Calliena Laines.”47

“Why thank you kindly, Joel,” she paused, realizing she’d never caught his last name.48

“Garvas,” he smirked, holding out his hand as if it was their first meeting.49

And all her suspicions were confirmed. She took the hand he offered and used it to pull herself up off the ground. Both teens walked over to sit on the swings.50

“How’d you know I was here?”51

“I’ve got friends in the area, watching the place.”52

“They called you when they saw a teenager sitting on the swings at night?”53

“I called them to see if they’d seen a teenager wandering the streets, looking deep in thought.”54

“How’d you know?”55

“Your sister. She knows I’m used to midnight playground visits.”56

Callie looked up in surprise. “Maggie?”57

His brown eyes turned to her, narrowed slightly, his expression a mix of confusion, awe, and mistrust. “You know so much, Calliena. You guess at things. For all you knew, I could have told you it was one of my sisters.”58

“But it wasn’t.”59

“No, Rogue comes here a lot. That’s why I’ve got eyes on the place. She doesn’t usually try to escape her guards, but when she wants to, when she needs to, she will with ease. That’s where I come in.”60

“Her secret body guard.”61

“Her friend.”62

Callie smiled at that, staring up at the sky, wishing for the sky she’d known back home, one with less light pollution and therefore more stars. “You’re a good person, Joel Garvas, son of the Head of the Secret Service.” He grinned when Callie confirmed what he’d suspected she would discover soon enough. “Thank you for coming tonight. I needed company, I just didn’t realize it.”63

He shrugged, joining Callie in her silent scan of the sky. “Like I said, I’m used to this. If you are ever ready to talk about it, about what happened before you came here, your life before D.C., I’m here. And Maggie can be, if you don’t mind being surrounded by her body guards.”64

She laughed, because his tone suggested that Callie should talk to him, rather than Maggie, and he joined her.65

“Maggie’s a funny person,” he said some time later, as they sat. “She never asked for fame, but she’s had it from her youth. The Gilmore sisters have always been high profile, especially since Maggie’s aunt became a freaking African princess at seventeen.”66

Callie turned towards him inquisitively. But his face was set, and he wasn’t looking at her. “People always assume that the Gilmore sisters are gold diggers, or looking to get ahead in life by going after up-and-coming people in politics. But Cal, Maggie’s mom didn’t. She and President Thompson fell in love, and she helped him get elected. It’s so unfair, what happened to her. What happened to Maggie.”67

Callie looked sharply at Joel, whose eyes were wide, looking into the past. “I remember that week, Cal. It was magical. Never in my life had I met someone like Maggie. She was so inquisitive, so intrigued by everything. She lost her bodyguards within five minutes of getting into the place, running off, hiding. It was a game to her. Dad set me on her, had me tail her. She accepted me there. God, Cal, we were just toddlers.” His eyes were so haunted. “She was this ball of energy, and I was only able to keep up because she let me. I named her Rogue.” His cheeks were crimson, his grin rueful. “Dad asked. They had something else picked out for her, but Rose didn’t quite fit her nearly as much as Rogue did.”68

“Big word for a little kid to know.”69

“Not when that kid watched cartoons,” Joel laughed, but the laugh didn’t reach his eyes, not when they were staring back at something so horrible. Dad was a secret service agent, but he wasn’t there that day. My mom was, with me and my older sisters. She and the Thompsons were friends, Callie. My parents and President Thompson and his vice-prez Mayfield, who became President after Maggie’s dad died, they went to high school together.” It was news to Callie, who would have thought that was a big issue. “There were circumstances,” Joel murmured, seeing her confusion, “reasons why it was kept a big secret. It doesn’t matter now, and nor did it matter then, except that my mother, who watched Austine Gilmore-Thompson lunge for her child, was never the same after it happened.”70

“It sounds like you weren’t either.”71

“They shot at Maggie, whoever it was.” This too was news to Callie. “They didn’t want to kill the President, they wanted to make him suffer. They were going to take out Maggie, then Mrs. Thompson, but Mrs. Thompson took the bullet that was meant for Maggie. And then Mr. Thompson took the next one. They meant to send a message to the President, and instead they killed him. Mom was one of the first to get onto the stage, nearly before the gunman was gone, and she grabbed Maggie, whose face was covered with blood, and cried. Sobbed, Cal. The blood, damn it was everywhere.”72

Callie lay a hand on his arm, surprised to find it freezing. He shook his head, blinked his eyes, and looked back at her. “That’s one of my earliest memories, Callie, being held by my mother with Maggie, staring at the dead bodies of the president and his pretty wife. And Maggie, the light went out of her. She was just- dead. She stayed with us that night, and was sent to England within a week, picked up by her grandparents and flown to live with her Mom’s next oldest sister. Dad continued as a secret service agent for President Mayfield, my Mom died of cancer, I grew up, and I saw Maggie at random parties during holidays. The light came back, slowly, for both of us. And then she came back for good, fresh from years as the Prime Minister’s wife’s niece, just as President Doyle began his campaign. They tried to keep her out of the spotlight, but she was stubborn, and forced them to let her. The light really came back then. I got to go with her, because Megan was training to join the secret service, and was undercover as a friend of the family. Maggie pretty much hated me at first,” he laughed again, a good strong laugh that reassured Callie that he was still alright, “but we became friends while Megan and I traveled with her and the Doyle’s. Their first party in the White House, Maggie let all the ponies for the pony ride loose when she thought no one was looking. That’s when I knew Rogue was back, for real.” He grinned at Callie, back in the present now. “You’ve been really helpful, Callie, to her and I both. She needs someone who ignores her fame and focuses on her, on Maggie Thompson, not the Political Princess. You do that, and you don’t even realize how much she needs it.”73

“You do too,” Callie reminded him, even though she was touched.74

“But I’m Joel Garvas, her undercover bodyguard since birth. I’m hired help.”75

“How much do you get paid?” Callie asked.76

His puzzled frown was her answer. “Nothing,” he replied, and then he realized what Callie meant, and he grinned. “I guess it is friendship more than anything else, but Maggie still believes I’m in it for my Dad’s sake.”77

Callie privately disagreed, but she only shrugged. Maggie and Joel cared for each other, she knew that, like siblings or cousins or best friends. Maggie trusted Joel, but it wasn’t because Joel was her undercover bodyguard, but because she subconsciously knew that Joel wanted what was best for a girl he’d shared some of the most significant moments of his life with. And she loved him for it, although Callie couldn’t quite figure out what form that love came in yet- siblings, cousins, best friends or more.78

“Liz will be wondering where you are,” Joel said suddenly, standing up and pulling Callie off the swings. They walked back to Callie’s house in near silence. “Thanks for listening, Cal,” Joel said finally as the condo came into sight, “I came to offer you my ear, and ended up giving you an earful.” He smiled guiltily.79

Callie shook her head and smiled back at the other boy. “Joel, you’re a good friend,” she murmured, and she couldn’t resist a swift hug before he turned to leave. 80

“It was fate that you happened to stumble across my path that day,” she whispered into his ear, delighted by his soft chuckle. He was still shaking his head as he turned to his car, which was parked across the street, and Callie turned to her front door, which was unlocked, awaiting her arrival back home. Liz was sitting on the couch in the front room, legs tucked up beneath her in a childlike position and reading a book by the lamplight. She only smiled at the younger girl when she walked through, not taking her eyes from her book as Callie made her way up to her room.81

As she stumbled to her bed, fatigue taking over, Callie thought back to what Joel had said. He knew that she was hiding things about her life before becoming Calliena Laines, before becoming Calypso. But he didn’t seem to care, and from his words, it seemed as though Maggie didn’t either. One day, perhaps they’d be able to know. For now, just a little longer, the lie must persist. 82

But it was easier now, having spoken to him, to see that day as a possibility, and so Callie was able to pass into sleep with relative ease.83