My dear Lord and Saviour Jesus,1
What a year it has been! As I write this letter to you. I want to thank you for the many gifts you have bestowed on me this year. I started the year off with a plan. A plan of action. I wanted for so long to start a support group for people with obsessive compulsive disorder.2
In February you helped that happen. You even gave me a name for it. OCEANS. I knew it was to be called OCEANS, but didn’t have a clue what that stood for. Then it came to me, like a flash. Obsessive, Compulsive, Education And Nurturing, but what would the S stand for? then my husband gave it to me Service. Obsessive, Compulsive, Education And Nurturing Service. Which is exactly what our group stands for. We hoped to raise awareness and provide a safe place for people to come and talk through their problems. My husband and I had a two page article in the local gazette and though nobody replied at first we kept on going. Then in May our group received funding and went to a big conference in Bristol for OCD. Gradually people came to the group even though we had got to the point where we felt like giving up. People started to show interest and soon there were 8 people coming to the group. Sadly the numbers dropped away, but hopefully this year we will see more people coming to the group again. 3
I thank you for the celebration of my 2 year wedding anniversary and we did have something to celebrate this year. Indeed in April you answered a prayer my husband and I had been praying for 2 and a half years. I remember going to the doctors over painful knees and coming away with something extra. Yes, a pregnancy test that was finally positive. How I cried when the doctor told me that I was pregnant. It was funny because the poor doctor didn’t know if it was bad or good news until my husband explained that it was definitely good news.4
I remember the first scan and how I cried when I saw my baby on the screen. We decided then that we didn’t want to know the sex of our baby. How much better it was to have a lovely surprise. Even still we thought up names for both boy and girl. Then I had this strange dream in which I saw a girl. She had long blond hair and told me she was 2 years old and that her name was Lauretta. I told my husband when I awoke and said to him, “What do you think of the name Lauretta?” He replied, “It’s really nice.” We decided then that if we would have a girl we would name her Lauretta Valerie. Valerie after the leader of our Church who would be the God mother along with her husband John.5
Then you answered another prayer in September when our Church got a new Pastor. It was the same man that you told me it would be. Even though I had doubts. You answered our prayers. Thank you Lord because You do so many good things and bless us with so very much.6
Then my parents told us that they were going to buy a house for us and that we would rent from them. This was another answer to prayer because the area we were living in was an area we were unhappy. Not an area to bring a child up in.7
Then out of the blue it all seemed to change. My husband's birthday October 23rd you took a very special friend from us. I know you must have had your reasons though at the time I could not understand why you decided to take our cat Cuddles. He was so, so special to the both of us. I know he wasn’t happy in the area where we lived, but the way he died. The way he was killed is something I will never forget. That was a hard time, but somehow your strength brought us through it.8
Then late November my own health deteriorated and my blood pressure started to rise. Was this because of the death of my cat Cuddles? I don’t know, but it all happened so quickly. Swollen ankles, hands and fingers. Trips back and to the doctors. Then in early December when I got admitted into hospital and told I had pre - eclampsia. My blood pressure was checked every hour and it was not going to go down. I had protein in my urine and my kidneys started to fail. It just all happened too quickly to even think about what was happening. My husband by my side my mum coming to and fro from the hospital. The nurses, midwifes and doctors. Then I was told I would have to deliver the baby within 48 hours and that they would try to induce me. I was 34 weeks pregnant my baby would be 3 weeks early. My baby could possibly die, but they managed to inject me with steroids which meant my baby had a better chance. At least the steroids would help my baby to breathe that first breath. Then I was told that I had to deliver the baby by Cesarean section that afternoon. I didn’t know what sex my baby would be, but everyone said it was going to be a boy. I remembered being rushed down to the operating room and having a big injection placed in my back called an epidural. They weren’t going to put me to sleep this meant my husband could be in the room with me. I remember him coming in and he looked so frightened, but I remained calm. I remember trying to tell him that everything was going to be alright. I was looking up at you when I said it. I knew you wouldn’t let anything bad happen and you didn’t. When the surgeons said it was a girl we almost froze. My dream was right and we called her Lauretta.9
As I look at her now sleeping my heart is in love. It’s a strange kind of love. A love that never dies. A love that has no description. A love that I have never felt before.10
I wanted to see her straight away to spend those first few hours with her, but I couldn’t because I had to recover. When I felt the pain for the first time after the epidural I realised how close to death I had come. It was only then that I could breathe a sigh of relief or pain maybe. I remember the nurse giving me pain relief, but my pain relief really came when I got to hold my daughter properly for the first time. Then I realised it had all been worth it. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Lord. This year I can really start to enjoy my little darling girl sent from Heaven. I love you Lord.11
All my love,12
For now,13
Melissa.14
Poetry Written 200515
Poems For Cuddles16
Purringly My Friend17
Mar 22, 2005 18
Laying there purringly19
Oh I love you so20
My gorgeous cat21
humming a sound22
That really comforts my soul.23
Your soft, soft fur24
I love to stroke.25
I watch your long pink tongue26
Licking your fur27
Oh you are beauty to me.28
Sitting on my knee29
Gives me comfort inside30
So purringly31
My faithful friend32
I wish you could understand33
I'd tell you that I love you dear34
And you mean the world to me.35
Cuddles The Cat 36
Apr 13, 2005 37
Cuddles my daft cat38
Jumping from the window kills39
You are not a bat. 40
This was the last poem I wrote to Cuddles before I found out he was dead.41
My Darling Cuddles42
Oct 24, 2005 43
My darling Cuddles,44
Cute baby cat.45
Here I am going insane,46
I don't know where you are,47
But I want you back.48
The tears keep rolling,49
These I cannot control50
My baby darling Cuddles51
Please come back to me.52
Where are you?53
What has happened,54
To God above I pray,55
Help me please56
Show me the way.57
So many people cruel,58
Chasing you under cars on their bikes.59
Hissing at you and calling you names.60
Why are people so cruel?61
Have they frightened you away?62
Locked you up somewhere,63
I just want it to be like yesterday.64
Yesterday I held you in my arms,65
I listened to you purr66
As you looked into my eyes with such trust,67
I could not love you less.68
The pain stabs deep inside my heart,69
My darling cat70
Where are you?71
Please come back.72
The tears seem endless,73
People saying don't give up hope,74
But, I'm so afraid that I will never see you again. 75
Poems About My Baby Lauretta76
A First Little Baby 77
May 27, 2005 78
Praise You Jesus for loving me79
Praise You Jesus for giving us this gift80
Lord You love us so much You have blessed us with our need.81
I'm going to be a mother,82
Hold a baby in my arms83
Though I'm only 8 weeks84
I pray You keep us from life's harms.85
Thank - you Jesus86
This seems so unreal87
I never thought it would be88
But, yes I'm going to be a mother89
Someone like me.90
I'm living this life91
On top of the world92
Where it seems so surreal93
Lord Jesus 94
Thank - you for loving us.95
A first little baby96
Such a special gift97
Wrapped in love98
Sent from You Jesus99
Sent from above. 100
This was written 2 days after I found out I was pregnant.101
Love Forever Your Mummy 102
Jun 14, 2005 103
I am so excited104
I just want to see your face,105
To hold you close and feel the warm embrace.106
When the doctor told me I cried,107
I felt like living108
Consumed with pride.109
Not a boastful,110
Hurtful pride,111
But a loving, warm112
Honorable pride.113
I could not believe that it was happening114
All that I had waited for so long,115
I just wanted to touch your body116
To tell you that you belong.117
I was shell shocked118
Because we had waited for years119
My happiness was consumed in tears.120
My darling baby growing inside121
I love you,122
I want you to know123
That mummy and daddy love you so much124
The one thing I am waiting for125
Is our first ever touch.126
My darling baby,127
This is my letter of love to you128
One day I will see you soon129
For now stay safe130
Inside my womb.131
Love forever,132
Your mummy133
xxx 134
My Baby Bundle Friend 135
Aug 01, 2005 136
Inside a baby bundle grows,137
Sometimes I cannot comprehend,138
Little fingers, nails and toes.139
One day soon I’ll see you my friend.140
Excitement overflows inside,141
I give my heart for you to lend.142
I can't consume this loving pride.143
One day soon I’ll see you my friend.144
Oh babe that my heart requires,145
A bundle of love God does send.146
Our love won't put out the fires.147
One day soon I’ll see you my friend.148
I watch the time it goes so fast,149
These moments I can't comprehend.150
Counting the minutes going past,151
One day soon I’ll see you my friend152
My Baby Beauty 153
Jul 25, 2005154
Last night I dreamed of my baby beauty,155
In delightful wonder that filled my sight,156
I held you my baby so close and tight.157
Oh such an awesome wonderful cutie,158
Blessed by motherhood a gift of duty.159
My baby girl I dreamn't of you last night,160
Eyes sparkling blue and hair of sunlight.161
My darling daughter, delightful beauty.162
Speaking in words that were loving and soft,163
Looking upon eyes of dazzling blue.164
Your name was not the one we had chosen,165
A name unusual not spoken oft.166
Now my little girl it is given you,167
A beautiful name that you have chosen.168
Little lump I love you 169
Jul 23, 2005 170
Little lump I love you,171
You are with me in everything I do.172
Growing, living, existing inside my womb,173
My wish is to cherish, embellish and not to presume.174
I don't want to take you for granted,175
But, for everything be pleased.176
As you get older I want to protect you from the cold177
As in my arms a little baby I hold.178
My belly is getting bigger by the day,179
My days are filled with laughter180
Daughter or son I will love you the same181
The pain is a small price to pay.182
I long for that day I can hold,183
In my arms my little baby bold.184
As I bathe in your beauty such a sight to behold,185
Loving and giving until I grow old. 186
Author notes
What a year has been! Happy New Year to all at AP.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
OOps. I forgot to read the poetry
Dang Cuddles! I can't believe he did that. Ouch. 
And again if it continues I don't wanna know 
Makes me miss my Shelli cat more. Honestly, you cannot keep cats outside at all anymore not even for a visit. They never live long. So sad this WORLD sometimes.
I just have to quote this:
Your name was not the one we had chosen,
A name unusual not spoken oft.
Now my little girl it is given you,
A beautiful name that you have chosen.
How very wonderful are those lines. Amazing she came to you as if in a dream. Magical huh
-
Ah thank you Mickie for entering such a loving letter in my contest. I think I have written about a hundred 'Dear God' letters in my head, though I've yet to put them to paper. Glad to see you doing so!
You sure have had an eventful year. Very, very dangerous condition, the pre-eclampsia and oh what a true blessing to have survived, and your Lauretta too. That is, by the way, a lovely name; unusual yet traditionally elegant, don't you think?
Please don't tell me what happened to Cuddles, poor baby! I am such an avid collector of cats
But I'm glad you included him in this letter. I truly believe that our beloved animals DO go to the big place upstairs; I do find comfort in thinking of my brood up there, waiting for my company, my own time. It gives me peace to believe it to be so.
And a new house! Awesome. Truly. A home is so much more than an investment, or four walls; I'm glad you can enjoy that with your family.
This flowed well, was a delight to read, and could only shine brighter with a bit more editing (specifically, punctuation). Oh, and the picture Mickie! I can't read the words at all. Had to paste it into word to read it. Maybe if you put one big picture on it? Well again, sorry to nitpick just gives me a headache
THANK YOU for your lovely write and may 2006 bring many smiles and giggles 
-
I have written many poems about my son Cameron too.. check them out if you like.. search on page allpoetry.com/poets/lollylou
-
congrats, i've just had a baby too. great write.. lollylou xx
-
This is beautifully written, I liked the first person perspective/letter format. It made me tear up. You have had an amazing year, and now with your daughter 2006 can be even better. I personally am not Christian, but I think this is a beautiful letter that anyone of any faith can relate to, appreciate, and respect; No matter what god it is written to the feelings are the same. well done!
-
God is so Good, and this is a wonderful testimony to share that gives Him all the glory. CONGRATULATIONS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Sam
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
