I saw a lone bird. He was perched on the branch of a tree. His chirps sounded like cries to me. He looked from side to side as if waiting for something. When he saw nothing familiar he hung his head as if a great burden was pressing on his neck. I wanted badly to find what he was looking for just to make him happy. So sad he looked. I wanted to hear his chirp as it should have been, gleeful and not sorrowful.1
It was a dark and dreary day, clouds blanketed the sky as black as coal. It was sprinkling, the first signs of the storm to come. The bird must have noticed also. He lifted his head toward the sky as if welcoming the storm that matched his mood. He cried out at the sky, as if to say "I know, me too". I wanted so badly on that day to be able to speak to that one bird. I wanted him to know how
truly sorry I was that he felt such agony. To share my feelings with him as if we were an old friend.2
Although it had started to rain heavily the bird didn't seek shelter so neither did I. I wanted to suffer with him. He was such a lovely bird. Vibrant colors of rich reds and dull grays. The contrast was beautiful. He was tiny, could have fit in the palm of my hand. His feathers looked as soft as silk. I Wondered if I were to pet him if they would be as soft as I imagined. We sat outside in the rain for hours. I could feel his loneliness and pain as if it were my own.3
Abruptly he perked up and looked to the right. I saw nothing. After a few moments a female bird landed on the branch beside him. My heart soared with happiness for him. She nuzzled into his side. He looked like he was smiling, but it could have just been in his eyes. I stood up to leave and heard him chirp once again, though this time it was the one I had been waiting to hear. A chirp of glee as a chirp should be.4
Author notes
This is an essay I did for English class.
I liked it so I decided to put it up here 
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nice Uplift
A bit tough to read with the background & print. Unique hobby, decent little story.
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very good
i like this story ,
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This is a beautiful piece. I could feel the emotions of the bird as well as the narrator's sympathy for the bird. I love how you reflected all of that in the form of a storm.
In paragraph 2:
"I know, me too".
The period should be inside the quotation marks.
I felt so happy at the end, and almost a bit relieved. I wonder if the bird was crying sadly because of loneliness or worry.
But either way, I'm happy.
I hope you get a good grade on this in your English class.
~Sparrow
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Doesn't sound at all like an essay to me - it's too wonderful to be tagged something so boring and dreary, don't you think?
And I am glad you decided to put it up on here.
I like the way you've carefully sequenced your event and linked the ending with the beginning with the 'chirp of glee as a chirp should be'. (It even sounds poetic and uplifting as you do it. Yes, you detect jealousy.)
The only poking I have to do for this is that in some places it sounds rather choppy... Like, some sentences don't flow all that well. eg. [Abruptly he perked up and looked to the right. I saw nothing. After a few moments a female bird landed on the branch beside him.] --> I think maybe merging the sentences together would make it less sudden to read... or perhaps it's the way I'm reading it.
Methinks some rewording in some places would be good, too. Some bits could do with some commas to smooth out the phrasing. eg. [I wanted badly to find what he was looking for just to make him happy.] --> I really wanted to find what he was looking for, just to make him happy.
[I Wondered if...] (3) --> decapitalise the w.
This was an exceptional write for English class. Thank you for sharing!
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I love the ending! i was feel horrible for the bird at first. yay for bird love
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 3, characters: 2.
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