IDEALS: My views and beliefs on subjects have varied over the years but through 2005 they became set in stone, the main subjects i will be sharing my views on are2
*Abortion3
*Children4
*Crime5
*Love6
*Relationships7
*Sexuality8
On the subject of abortion my views are very simple and my reason are very logical.9
I would NEVER have an abortion, i love children and respect all life and believe that even before a life takes form it has life. If i was to be raped and get pregnant i wouldn't hold that against the child and would keep the baby the same applies for 'accidental births'. I don't think that i could raise a child at 17 which is why i am using the ultimate form of prevention SAYING NO when i turn 18 and believe that i am more capable of emotionally caring for a child i will be taking the pill and using condoms (you can NEVER be to safe) 10
I would not blame a man for not wanting a child and would not hold him responsible it was my choice to keep the child and my choice to have sex so they have a decision to make about whether they want to be involved with their child. I wouldn't ask him to marry me and if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me then i understand that as well, money is also optional.11
Now the fun topic of Children. I love children and someday want to have my own, adopt and foster as well, there are to many orphaned and suffering children for me to have 4 or 7 or 20 kids of my own that is why i intend to have a biological child first then adopt and foster when the child is old enough to understand. I now know after a lot of questioning that i would not be prepared to raise a child for sometime which is why i plan to wait to have sex until i feel ready to care for a life. 12
I am hoping to be able to find a job working with children and after making my fortune i will be building and running a home for children and parents to come to when they need help. I will have a place for kids to learn and play, counselling for both parent and child and just setting an environment for people to be happy in. There will be rooms for children to stay in if they need time alone also i will be planning holidays for kids to attend in the area so they can have fun and learn new things.13
Crime was always a touchy topic for me as i am very easy going ad understandable when it comes to peoples actions. I know that murder, assault, graffiti, drugs and such are bad, but i also realise that there are ALWAYS reasons even when they seem unclear. That doesn't mean i think they should be allowed to get away with it which is why i agree with prison to a certain point and disagree with capital punishments. I used to think that jail was pointless i have now rethought my views, instead of simply locking criminals away and allowing them free food, shelter and minimum discipline, they should make them work for their keep. Community service should be instituted in a safe way, if criminals don't do the work they don't get the food and drink, also when in jail they should not be allowed out of their cells neither should they have cell mates this only leads to more violence and the circle continues. 14
My opinion on capital punishment changes for only one type of criminal15
Child Abusers, Child Rapists, Child neglecter's IF ANYBODY HURTS A CHILD THEY SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A ROOM HANDCUFFED WITH THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF THEIR VICTIM!!!! I realise this may be slightly harsh but it just shows how much i care for children, even in this instance the prosecutors must have rock solid evidence otherwise the defendant is kept in jail like the others.16
Ha! now for the topic on every bodies lips, LOVE.17
Well i can honestly say that i have never loved a person other than a family member. I love my cat Gizzy and my pup Scotty as i love all animals and children but these situations i talk about LOVE in the Platonic sense. I have never experienced true, unconditional, head over heels, crazy in love for another person. I have been in a few relationships all which i have taken something special from (mainly caution for dating psychopaths) and every relationship i have said "i love you" in response to their confession of love,, but i have never felt it, If you feel love for somebody you know it.18
You feel like the world has gone quiet and you are the only two left on earth, like your skin will leap from your flesh just to touch them. Your mind becomes clouded and even the most simple choices are impossible to make, hearing their voice makes your knees go weak and your mouth go dry. Kissing them is like falling from heaven and you know that if they ever left you it would be the end of life as you know it.19
If you have ever felt this then don't let go of the person that makes you feel this way, hold on to them tight even if it causes you pain even if it is shunned by society, hold on tight because having somebody to love and somebody who loves you back is what life is about. Love doesn't wait in hiding for you it comes to find you searches you out until it pulls you and your soul mate together, so don't go looking for love let love find you.20
Okay well now relationships are an interesting topic monogamy or adultery? To be single and play the field or get married and commit to one person. Well until last year i was intent on finding that special person and settling down in a monogamous relationship, i have recently decided though that i don't want that
21Instead i want to play the field and have fun because life is too short, I'm not saying that i want to have one night stand after one night stand, if i find somebody to carry on a relationship with the i will. Of course i will make it very clear that i still want an open relationship, that way we can be physical with others (as long as we're safe) and still do all the relationship stuff, like movies, dinner staying the night, with each other. This may seem sluttish or complicated but it is for a very simple reason. If you are told not to do something then you will be constantly haunted by your restrictions, you have the option of being with another person but you can choose not to.22
Well sexuality is a topic which i am very strong about. If you are gay, bisexual or lesbian or straight IT'S YOUR CHOICE!!!! 23
I don't think being a homosexual is good or bad it simply is, your attraction to the same sex is no different to your attraction to blonde's or brunettes. I am aware that people may say being homosexual is a chemical imbalance which causes you to have feelings for the same sex but whether that is true or not people should not be ostracized for it.24
I am bi-sexual myself as is my best friend and i have several straight and gay friends, their sexual preferences have never bothered me nor will they ever bother me. My father believes that being gay means being physically sick (he doesn't yet know I'm bi-sexual) he doesn't think you should be hurt for being gay but he does think that it is wrong and there should be a cure. Now i don't take offense to this because i realise he's opinions come from experiences and knowledge which is now outdated, if he were ever to say something like "F***ing homo's" then i would kill him.25
If you object to somebody being homosexual then you should object to them preferring brunettes or Cuban people, it is also as bad as insulting somebody for being African or Chinese. When you are attracted to a person you have no more control over it than you have over the colour of your skin trying to deny that part of yourself is like trying to deny the way your breathe.26
Well know i have given you the update on my views I'll move on to significant events that have happened.27
Firstly in February i left my old job at Safeway and traded it for more money at Dench meats, BOY WAS THAT A MISTAKE!!!28
This job started out well i picked up all the skills quickly, like preparing the meat and serving the customers, i got along with staff for a while as well. I was the youngest by at least 10 years and i was one of 5 females which worked their, i don't mean to blow my own horn but i was the best looking female there which is probably why it started.29
The main reason i applied for the job was because of a man i kept seeing work there called 'Dominick' He was gorgeous and seemed interesting and when i met him i realised he was exactly what i expected except for the part of him being 'engaged'
He left unfortunately after only 3 weeks of my working there so he could travel Europe with his fiancee.30The boss was a nice older man who joked about with the staff and was very slack with discipline, he would give you more or less shifts whenever you asked. The other 3 men were the problem though Brad was the youngest above me at 26 years old, then it was Mark at 36 and finally Joey at 45, Brad was always joking about sex telling us jokes which made the others blush and me laugh. Everything went alright with him until he found out i was bi-sexual at which point he started making remarks such as "See that girl, would you like to like her c**t out?" i could bare it as i grew up with my eldest brothers friend's making such remarks. Mark was usually easygoing he would always give me overtime pay even if i hadn't worked it and he seemed fine until one day he called me into the office to show me the bulge in his pants (He had put a roll of sausage meat down his pants) i shook my head and left. 31
Joey was the worst of all of them and i am glad that i left because he scared me often. He was a typical male, he would always ask me about my boyfriends, if i had sex and if i thought he was good looking and would go on a date with him. I always found it flattering so didn't take much offense until he started cornering me out the back so i would answer his questions, he never tried to put a hand on me which is lucky for him and i never said anything because i did tend to flirt and inadvertently lead people on. Then one day though i stopped all together and refused to talk to him about anything besides work, he approached me when i was lent over the counter and we engaged in the following conversation "Hey Beck do you give oral?" "Yeah I'm the best" i replied with a smile "Would you do that to me if asked nicely?" He asked, to my shock he was actually serious. I laughed and told him "no because I'm not a nice girl" that was the end of the situation and he seemed to get the point. 32
After enduring all that i finally got myself fired by giving the bird to a new boss, a took my work shirt off to go for lunch and had a singlet underneath, as usual the boys made cat calls and the new boss said "Keep your clothes on, nobody wants to see you naked" For some reason it pissed me off (Probably because the guy had been on my back from day one for now reason) SO i flipped him off and when i came back he called me and another into the office and with sweat pouring off his face he told me i was fired.33
I won't say i was upset because it was only a job but i was slightly annoyed.34
OK well that is the only major event that happened, oh unless you count my first lesbian experience
35It was my best fried and I, without going into to much detail I'll explain. We were hanging out with her partner (they have an open relationship) and it started getting a little heated starting with simple kissing between the three of us. Then i ended up giving her partner (male) a blow job while she was eating me out (lol don't ask me how we got there it was a big, pleasurable blur) So after that we have had a few more experiences either with all three of us or just my friend and I.36
Alright well now I've caught you up on all my major info I'll be saying Farewell to all until the next newsletter.37
Peace and love to all.38
XXX39
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