[Untitled] Introduction

The gun is a strange, yet powerful weapon. You really can't dodge the bullets the way that you see in the movies. In fact, the only way to escape a gunshot is completely by chance. Once a gun has been fired it is inevitable to run; The bullet travels so fast that it breaks the sound barrier, and you're already hit before you hear the blast. I know this because I saw her fall before I could comprehend what happened. I looked at Anthony standing across from me, his eyes vacant with fear and his bony index finger quivering on the trigger. This time the barrel of a gun was pointed at me.1

"How could you?!" Anthony's words ripped through me like a broken mirror in a trash bag. 2

"I thought you were going to tell her to stay away," I accused. "This was an accident, Anthony. Please, put down the gun."3

"I did tell her! She was worried about you, she must have discovered this place on her own!" His breathing grew heavier with each passing second and his upper lip was glittering, reflecting the salty tears that gathered there. I wondered if I looked the same.4

Anthony collapsed to his knees and brought his hands to his face, bawling like a lost child at a circus. He never let go of his weapon. I made my way to the victim's side and gazed down at her paling face. She gasped for air, refusing to succumb to her mortal wound. The bullet had squeezed between two of her ribs piercing her left lung, which was probably filling with blood as her glassy eyes met mine; She smiled at me. Her lips were red as always, but this time from her spattered blood instead of Scarlet #602--lipstick made by some designer brand that recently claimed bankruptcy for a lack of business. I felt my tears race down to my chin until I could see them splash upon her paling cheeks.5

I could hear sirens singing their hypnotic warning--some innocent person must have heard the gunshot as he passed the two-story death house and called the cops. I paid no attention to the wailing or the clatter of steel toes that echoed in the halls. Instead, I returned my focus to Anthony who proceeded to stand up and aim his gun despite his leaden tears.6

"I loved her...." Anthony's voice trailed off, allowing me to hear the clacking sound as he released the safety. "She meant the world to me!" And what happened in the next few minutes as a bullet penetrated the silent little room was proof--proof that my perfect world had collapsed from the weight of every mistake I had made since I met Kaye.

Author notes

Still in the process of writing, this is my introduction.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Debbysmiles
    March 7, 2006
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    This is really good. I wonder though.. who Shannon is.. and how she is connected to Anthony ? More please.. Debby

  • hoodoolover
    March 7, 2006
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    Intriguing

    Good writing, I hope there is a continutation??


  • Glenda L Hand
    March 7, 2006
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    Great begining

    This is really good. The opening makes me want to read on, and the ending leaves me wondering if you will tell me what those mistakes were. Kind of an odd comment- the two-story house-- made me lose the flow, not sure why, maybe a different way to describe the house?? I think I thought you were outside, not there is a house?? Otherwise very good.


  • Tekno Suicide
    February 1, 2006
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    Holy cow o.o; -mouth hangs open- ~[feena]


  • Estarla
    February 1, 2006
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    Still catching on to what happened there, but it is good writing. I like how it hooks the read and keeps you interested. Lol, the name 'Shannon' rmeinds of the show LOST. I love that show. Anyways, very intruiging writing. This says 'Chapter One', does that mean there will be more? A continuation would be very interesting. If this were the beginning to a book, I would probably be worried but I would definitly keep reading. Very nice writing, keep it up!

  • Lifewise
    February 1, 2006
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    great short story, the one part that didn't fit was comparing the grief felt to that of a child lost at the circus. great work .

1 - 6 of 6