Dream Dancer

Darius looked at the accident scene in the middle of the road without emotion. The ambulance had just arrived and policemen were directing the gathering crowd to move along. They ignored him - didn't ask him to stand back or whether he had seen what happened - he was left to stand and watch. As a young paramedic with her red hair in a long braid down her back bent over and carefully helped her partners turn the badly injured and bleeding young man over, Darius recognised himself. He remembered looking up at he the sound of screeching of brakes, blaring horns and warning shouts from all around, into the horrified face of the driver of the oncoming truck. He remembered that he couldn't move - and that he hadn't wanted to move away from the possibility of oncoming death. And now he was here, watching as emergency workers tried to rescue him, keep him alive - and still he didn't know whether he wanted to live. And he turned away, to another world of a long time ago. 1

As he had always known she would be, she was there, waiting for him, beckoning to him with a wave of her hand and an inviting smile. Daintily gracious in soft pink leotard and flowing skirt, with neatly tied ribbons from satin ballet shoes around slim ankles, Erin was asking him to dance with her once more. And he did so with quiet joy and enthusiasm, moving graciously in perfect rhythm with his beautiful twin. 2

There was always a very special bond between Erin and Darius - a bond even deeper than that which usually exists between twins. It seemed as if Darius had known from birth that he needed to be there for his almost totally blind sister. He had been the one to teach her to eat on her own, find her way around the house and dress herself. He learnt to read at an exceptionally early age, and read to her all the time. He made her sit with him while he watched television, and patiently explained everything he could see to her. And when Erin, at the age of five, expressed a desire to begin ballet and dance lessons, Darius volunteered immediately to join his sister.  3

From that early age they became the town's 'celebrity' dance duet, and took part in countless ballet and modern dance competitions and festivals. Erin could barely distinguish between light and dark, but Darius led her on stage, always guiding her with firm hands and gentle whispers. Soon the living room at their home was adorned with many shining trophies, medals and ribbons.  4

Brother and sister continued dancing together into their early teens. Even when Darius was teased and belittled by insensitive peers for doing 'girlie stuff', or when he was mockingly asked about his sexual preferences by high school football players, he never faltered in his devotion. He shared Erin's passion for dance without fear or shame, and they became ever better together. Sometimes he stood in the wings, softly calling to her, telling her which way to turn and how far to go without falling, while she did a stunning solo dance with the grace and confidence of a seeing ballerina. Afterwards he would step out onto the stage to hand her a rose, and lead the standing ovation. 5

Shortly after their fifteenth birthday they were dancing in the finals of a nationwide contest, when Erin suddenly collapsed on stage. A doctor in the audience rushed forward to help, but it was too late. She was already dead. Autopsy reports later stated that she had suffered from a previously undetected heart defect, and her heart had simply stopped beating while she was doing what she loved most. 6

Darius was understandably devastated. He was hospitalised for several weeks after his twin's unexpected death and treated for severe shock and then depression stemming from loss and grief. It was as if a part him had died as well. 7

After his discharge from hospital, Darius went back to school, but his grades kept dropping, he had no more interest in dancing and kept to himself all the time. At home he stayed mostly alone in his room, spoke only sometimes when he was spoken to and barely ate enough to stay alive. His parents were helpless, still grieving their loss themselves, and pretty much left him to his own devices most of the time. When he finished school, passing only by the seat of his pants, they protested only slightly when he told them he was leaving. He wanted to start a new life away from the memories that followed him everywhere in the town they had grown up in. He boarded the northbound bus alone, with enough money in his wallet to survive in the city for three or four months while he found himself, and a job. 8

In the city he soon started frequenting nightclubs, where he would sit for hours watching the dancers, drinking himself into a stupor, and then returning to his rented room to dream of Erin. Within six weeks Darius was practically flat broke and he moved to a smaller and seedier room. There he met up with Billy, and soon joined him in using and dealing drugs.  9

It was while he was in hospital for the third or fourth time as a result of an accidental overdose, that he met Samantha, and nearly got his life turned around and on track again. She was a sweet and kind nurse's aide, and fell almost instantly in love with Darius. She tried her utmost to reform him, letting him move in with her in her small apartment, helping him find various jobs, and generally being supportive, yet firm. Every time that he fell off the wagon, and went back to the booze and drugs, Samantha kicked him out to fend for himself. She had no wish to support a drunk and a drug addict, no matter how much she loved him, and she told him so in no uncertain terms. And every time that Darius was at his lowest, he would find his way back to her apartment, and beg her to give him one last chance to prove that he could stay sober and clean and hold a job. It became a vicious circle that lasted for almost two years. The last time she had come home to find him passed out on their bed when he should have been at work, she tossed him out and threatened him with bodily harm if he should ever return - drunk, drugged or sober, she never wanted to set eyes on him again. 10

When his money, and new found friends, ran out, Darius went back to the apartment once more. She had moved without leaving a forwarding address. He went to the hospital where they had met, but Samantha had quit her job there, and nobody was able or willing to tell him where to find her.  11

He had no idea how long he had been roaming the streets, but he knew it must have been quite a while, because the hangover was gone and the withdrawal symptoms were becoming almost bearable. All that remained was the depression, and the will to die, when he looked up to see the truck bearing down on him. And at the very last moment, almost too late, he tried to get away. 12

As the music faded and the dance ended, Darius held tightly to his sister. She leant closer and spoke softly into his ear: 13

"You must find her, Darius. You must do everything you can to find Samantha. She's pregnant with your daughter, but she won't come to you to tell you, because she has no more faith in you. You can change, you can become whole again. And you must do it. For the woman who loves you with all her heart - and for your daughter - so that she too may dance like you and I once did!" 14

When Erin looked deeply into his eyes one last time, he saw no blindness there. She gave him a final smile and then slowly disappeared - a brilliant star, fading into the past, her talent destined to shine again in another generation. 15

Darius turned and moved back towards the accident scene. One of the paramedics was holding the paddles of the defibrillator, ready for a last attempt at getting the victim's heart beating again. But before he could call out for everyone to stand clear, a slight shudder went through the presumably dead body, and suddenly a loud beep was heard from the monitor attached by wires to the young man's chest. Within moments he started breathing on his own and softly moaned of the pain from various wounds and broken bones. But he was alive, and an audible sigh of relief went up from the group of life savers surrounding him. 16

Five months later Darius left the hospital with only a slight limp remaining from his near fatal accident. While recovering from his injuries, he had also been helped to recover from his addictions and ultimately from the loss of his twin sister. He had reconciled with his parents, and they had eventually helped in tracing and contacting Samantha. By the time he was settled into his own apartment and new job, she was visibly pregnant and he visited with her often. He refused to tell her how he knew that she would give birth to a perfect little girl and he was overjoyed when she agreed to allow him to attend the birth. But it would still take many months for her trust in him to be fully restored. And it was on their daughter's first birthday that they finally exchanged vows and rings in the unseen presence of Erin, dream dancer.  17