A baby has just been born into this world. Its mother has desperately been awaiting its arrival, wanting to see her much-loved child's face. All her pain is through, and she can see her newborn being wrapped in a blanket, to be given to her soon. But something takes over the nurse's face. The young mother worriedly wonders if there is anything wrong with her baby, until the nurse starts to walk over with her son. The mother sighs with relief as the child is placed in her arms. She looks down at him...1
"AAHHHH!!!" The mother screams in horror and fearfully pushes her son back into the nurse's arms, who by the look on her face, tells everyone around her she is not particularly happy with holding the kid either. Instead of a normal newborn's cry, the only sound the baby makes is a mechanical breathing sound. Absent from its face are the pudgy cheeks and wailing mouth of a baby, but in place of it is a black mask, complete with a little black suit and cape! GASP!!! DARTH VADER HAD BEEN BORN!!! Literally.2
"Its HIDEOUS!!" the mother wails with grief. She sure doesn't want it anymore. Instead, she puts it up for adoption, not caring or worrying in the least that it would never be adopted. Or, so she thought.3
Baby Vader stayed in the adoption center for months. He got lots of reactions when people saw him, like screaming and yelling. Those poor, poor people didn't scream for long though. Soon, his reputation of killing people had inexplicably scared everyone away. Without his usual victims around anymore, he resorted to choking his nurses that attempted to feed him his formula each day.4
But one day, someone new walked through the adoption center. Someone who dressed differently from all the new couples in their bright colors looking for a baby. This person wore a black cloak. Vader, even as an infant, liked him from the start. So he didn't choke him. The nurses hiding behind the closed door were utterly surprised to hear no choking and/or dying noises.5
The person with the black cloak turned his face towards the infant Vader, whose black gloves were curled over the railings of his crib to help him stand to look at the stranger. The person walked over the Vader's crib, looking at the child with such evil and cruel yellow eyes that it made Vader squirm all over with happiness. 6
Darth Sidious stared at the hideous child with interest. He picked the baby up out of its crib. "You are ADORABLE, little one," the Sith crooned. "The Force is strong with you. You will make a fine apprentice, won't you?"7
"Master..." came the little voice through the mask. 8
Darth Sidious smiled in delight. "His first word!" Sidious cuddled the child. Then he strided out of the baby center and past the main desk.9
"Excuse me!" the secretary called. "You can't just walk out with a child sir! And Sith lords are not allowed to-" The secretary became silent with fear as Vader and Sidious approached her.10
"You will let me take this child to be trained as my apprentice," he told her with a wave of his hand.11
"I will let you take this child to be trained as your apprentice," she said, hypnotized by the Dark Lord's mind trick. Sidious turned and walked out the door with his new apprentice happily gurgling in his arms.12
"Let us take a walk in the park Lord Vader," Sidious told the child. "I heard there is a Father and Son Picnic today. What pleasure we will find there."13
"Yes my Master," said the little voice.14
And so the two journeyed to the park, all the while cackling evilly and enjoying each other's dark company.15
A Sith was born!16
Author notes
I know it is strange, but my brother and I found it quite hilarious. I hope you found it so too. If you didn't, I hope it didn't creep you out too badly.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Actually Chris that whole thing has been in my head after I had watched the movie three hundred times and had gotten over the emotional...distress of it. But it had always been there...
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Dead of laughter!
VERY FUNNY I'm glad I finaly read this! 
dieing of laughter! Where did you get this idea? I simply must know! But good it is to have wrote it. MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm...
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strangly funny
ummmmm.... kim? you might want to find something else besides star wars to become obsessed with, because you are getting to the point of complete insanity. have you noticed? perhaps that is why i find this highly amusing.
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