Crying for a Smile

The girl glances up at the sky and stops running for a moment to admire the breathtaking beauty and take a deep breath of the crisp cool air. Her eyes slide shut as she stands there and she sees in her mind the stars, and the sky. She breaths it all in and picks her feet up again to keep running. It isn't yet time to stop.1

It's dark outside... much too late for running, and she has to watch her back. You never know what kind of creeps lay out in the dark waiting to catch a young girl. She needs the air more than she cares though, and so she runs on, around her block and down the street, across the dark narrow roads, lit by scattered street lamps.2

The cool air refreshes her, and pushes her tears back. It drags away her endless sorrows and leaves room in her heart for happiness. She loves the way it tingles in her chest and makes her step a little lighter, the way it makes her want to run forever. But one cannot spend an eternity running and she grows tired eventually.3

She stops under a street lamp and leans back on it to catch her breath, sliding thoughtlessly to the ground as the tears flood back and seep down her face. She lets her head fall into her hands where her tears pool up into a warm puddle that cools as it is caressed by the wind. She steadies her breathing but cannot stop the tears falling down her face, and so she stands quickly and starts to run to forget it all.4

She doesn't want to remember anything yet. It's too fresh. Eventually she'll have to face it, but not yet. Its too early to even face her own face, dripping with black tears from her running eyeliner and mascara. Her hand travels into her pocket and finds the letter. She stops under the next light and takes a shallow breaths as her lungs seem to flatten and the air becomes lighter.5

"Dear Jess,6

I'm gone by now... and you're just finding out. I'm sorry, I know we were friends, but there are things I couldn't tell you. I was afraid that you might not understand. I didn't want to lose the little pieces I had left.7

I know you knew that I wasn't happy anymore. I tried to hide it, but it must have shown through some how. Now I'm gone, so you wont have to worry about me anymore. I found peace, I'm surprised it took so long to realize that peace was a shining silver blade. Be happy for me.. please, someone needs to smile for all those smiles I missed, and you're the only one I know who has enough left to smile for. Tell our friends I loved them...8

                  Love, Serah"9

She manages to stay standing this time even as she shakes. She folds the letter into her pocket and prays in her heart that she will find the strength to smile soon. She runs home and sits down on her steps to weep. Serah will have to cry alone though, because Jess still doesn't know.10