A Broken Silence

Nina saw her pale face in the mirror once more before leaving for school. The clock struck eight and the tension grew inside her. Her once sagging eyes blinked to see if they were clear and bright again. Her slender hands reached up and lay gently upon both sides of her cheeks, cupping them as if to assure herself that she would be alright. With finger and thumbs, she pinched each one to create a little pink blush. After all, therapy was over with and she had to look pretty and healthy if she was going to attempt to sing the long-prepared song. All her friends didn’t expect her to even be there and many of her relatives came to support her mother ever since the accident. Then, what seemed like a dream, she reflected on the last year.

“Your daughter may be very ill”, said Doctor Raley to Nina's mother as he showed her the x-ray of the lung that appeared suspicious. Mrs. Garner held her hand to her heart.

“What is it? What can we do?”

Pointing to the spot that brought them both to the clinic, he explained the best he could.

“See that little shaded spot there? It tells us that something isn’t right. She may only have an infection, but it could be that there is also some kind of rupture due to the car accident you and your family had on Christmas last year.”

She was surprised that something could have waited nine months to show up on an x-ray, and tried to recall the accident that took her husband, Nina's father, and damaged the frail body of her twelve year old daughter. Was it the impact of her hitting the pavement when the car collided with the truck? She wondered also if that was why she experienced headaches and repeated colds and which caused her to miss school. The year was gruesome and Nina wasn’t doing well in school at all. After the funeral, it was as if she was walking like a robot through everything, including any outside activities. Considering the grief and the physical trauma, Mrs. Garner cried in front of the doctor.

“We’d like to send her to another state for better tests. But the main thing is to keep up your hopes and prayers and allow your daughter to continue with her speech lessons even though she hasn’t spoken in five months.” Mrs. Garner wasn’t sure she could muster the strength, but proceeded to follow Dr. Raley’s directions.

Through the months of traveling to the hospital, both Mrs. Garner and Nina learned that losing her voice wasn’t only due to the accident, but the early death of her father whom she adored. In fact, she and her father were singing his favorite song, “ Morning Has Broken ” when the skidding occurred which took them to that tragic event. The days and weeks that followed brought Nina to a silence that could hardly be explained. Everyone tried so hard to get her to say something, but she just couldn’t. She would constantly put her hand on her throat to see if anything would come out, but to no avail. At Nina's request, even phone calls weren't accepted from her friends, her mother pleading that she would change her mind and just try. Then, on the last week before the final therapy, she prayed that she could at least talk again.

Nightmares of the accident repeatedly brought the last vision of her dad and the happy song that echoed before the car was crushed. But it was on a fateful evening that the nightmare took a turn. Beginning the week after her thirteenth birthday, she would go to her room after supper, shut the door, and turn on the song she loved so much. As if it were her singing, she would mime each word before the mirror. Tears would flow as she strained to just sing one note. Night after night, she secretly practiced. Suddenly, whispers began to emerge from her throat to her lips. She was beginning to vocalize something. Nina kept this progress from her mother, but she noticed a difference in her daughter’s expressions when she finally turned her mother’s head and with her mouth to her ear .

“Mother, I want to sing at school”. Mrs. Garner held her hands over her mouth as if she was going to scream to the world. Her daughter may be healed! Both she and Nina cried and held each other closely.

“Oh, Nina. Are you sure, honey? You won’t be embarrassed?” Nina nodded and led her to her bedroom. With a mixture of hand gestures and whispers, she turned on her CD player.“ Morning Has Broken ” played and both were emersed into the fact that she would sing that particular song.

“Mother," she barely uttered, "Daddy would want me to do this."

Mrs. Garner knew she would back her daughter up, no matter what the outcome would be.

Finally, Nina's day had come and while looking through the mirror, she thought she heard her father say something he always did when the odds were against her.

"If you can dream anything, then anything is possible." And so it was on this very day she and her Mother would go to school so that she could perform her miracle song.

At the shock of all her friends, she stood in front of the gymnasium holding the microphone till the music piece began. After a brief and nearly strained silence, it was as though an angel descended to earth, for Nina opened her mouth and after a small pause, the long quieted voice began,

"Morning has bro ... ken ", she cleared her voice and held her hand over her throat, her heart pounding through her ears.

..." like the first morning.

Blue bird has spoken,

like the first bird..."

Word after careful word, she continued. To her own amazement, each and every note was right on key, and sung beautifully. The song was so beautiful, that when it was over, one could hear a pin drop. It seemed as though no one but her was in the room. But, then a sudden few handclaps elevated into a forceful applause with cries and whistles accompanying the hysteria. The echoing crowd response lasted at least five minutes. Teachers and students ran to hug her and tell her how impressive the song was. It was an opus moment for Nina, her school, and most of all- her family.

Their eyes welling with tears, Nina and her mother exchanged an unspoken message detailing all they tried to achieve through that year. That moment. As if time had frozen, Nina looked upward and envisioned her father’s smile. Only the two of them would truly know that in those long seconds of broken silence, together they could finally finish the song which, from this day forward, would not only spring a joy to her heart, but take on a brand new meaning.

CookieZeal/M. Dianne Berry

Age-umpteen Adult