Dear God,1
Please make Mommy stop crying. She cries every night in her room when she thinks I am sleeping. She doesn't know that I can hear her. I told her today that Daddy came last night and said that everything would be OK. He said that tonight he would come and take me home with him and that I wouldn't hurt anymore. Mommy ran to her room, closing her door, but I heard her crying again. Please God, can't You make Mommy stop crying? Can you let Mommy come with us? Mommy will be by herself if Daddy takes me home and not her. I don't want Mommy to cry anymore.2
Your friend,3
Marissa4
Father Riley's hands shook as he folded the letter and replaced it back into the envelope that it came in. He had found the letter in the morning's offering plate and on the envelope in a child's scrawl with purple ink, the letter was addressed to God.5
Father Riley remembered Marissa. She had been to the church a few times. She was a pale child and always so quiet and withdrawn from the other children. She hadn't been to service in several weeks. 6
Grabbing his coat, Father Riley left the church and got into his car. He decided to go visit the family and see if there was anything he could do to help. What, he didn't know but he knew that this was a family in need.7
Pulling up to the house, he noticed how ran down and deserted it looked. Almost like no one lived there. Going up the sagging stairs, he knocked on the old weather beatened wooden door. After several moments of knocking and waiting, he turned to leave.8
"May I help you Father?"9
Father Riley turned towards the voice. It came from the porch next door.10
"I"m looking for Mrs. Miller. Do you know when she will be home?"11
"Mrs. Miller is at the hospital with her daughter. She had to take her there early this morning."12
Father Riley walked over to the neighbors yard and took a few steps onto the porch. 13
"I'm Father Riley and Marissa attends our services. I was wanting to check and see if she was all right as she has missed the past few Sunday's."14
"Nice to meet you Father Riley. My name is Cara Brown and I live here. Marissa is in the hospital because of cancer. She isn't expected to live long. The mother is really having a hard time of it. Her husband was killed several months ago in a car wreck and she has no other family besides Marissa. They only moved in here a few months ago and with medical bills and with a sick child, it has not been an easy time for Mrs. Miller. Right now Marissa is Mrs. Miller's world. I really don't know how she will cope when Marissa is no longer with her."15
"Do you know which hospital they took her to?"16
"St. Andrews down on Mission Street."17
"Thank you for your help."18
"God Bless you Father."19
"God Bless you Mrs. Brown."20
Arriving at the hospital, Father Riley went up to the I.C.U. on the third floor. There he saw two doctors standing outside of a door talking quietly among themselves. He walked to the nurses station and enquired about Marissa. The nurse who was working on papers, looked up at Father Riley with tear stained eyes, and told him he should talk to the two doctors that he saw when he came onto the floor.21
Hesitantly, he walked over to them.22
"I'm here for Marissa Miller." Father Riley told the doctors. "Is the mother in her room?"23
Looking around, the first doctor cleared his throat before addressing the Father.24
"Are you a family member?"25
"No, I am Marissa's priest. If she is able to receive visitors, I would like to see her and her mother. I won't stay longer then necessary."26
"Father I hate telling you this, but Marissa died tonight. She died two hours ago."27
"Is it possible that I see her mother?"28
"Father, that is the perplexing thing. You see, Mrs. Miller held her daughter in her arms as she was dying. When Marissa took her last breath, Mrs. Miller had a heart attack. By the time we got her into the operating room, she was gone. We tried to revive her, but we were too late."29
For the first time since the start of the conversation, the other doctor spoke up.30
"What is so perplexing is that when Mrs. Miller died, she had a smile on her face. She died in pain and yet she was smiling. Plus at the moment of her death, everyone in the room, well I am not sure how to say this, but we all heard the same thing. It was music playing. Soft music, but music unlike any I have heard before."31
Looking up at the ceiling, Father Riley held his breath for a moment before replying. 32
"I understand and it's not perplexing at all as you said. God answers prayers and letters and Mr. Miller came to take his family home."33
After thanking the doctors, Father Riley turned away and started back down the corridor. As he walked towards the elevator, he thought he heard faint strains of laughter and music, music unlike any he had ever heard before on this earth.34
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Excellent...
For those of us that have "seen the elephant" the ending is easily understood. Once the Mom died the ending was a given. Superb writing. The padre got it right. You got it right! -
thank you for commenting and i'm glad you liked it.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... I have tears coming to my eyes... wow this was great... I loved it... I never expected the mother to die... this was great and so sad at the same time... you did a wonderful job... Keep it up!!!!
~:Kitten:~ -
Thank you for the contest, I'm glad you liked the story and took the time to comment on it. Good luck in judging this as I know it will be a hard one to do.
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That was incredible...the whole thing made me sad, to think that a little girl was dying and she thought nothing of herself, she just wanted to make sure that her mommy was going to be okay...definately sad but sweet at the same time. I liked this story a lot, you did a great job. Keep up the great work and thanks for entering.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and commenting. I would love to see what you write with the inspiration from this.
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Oh my god this was beautiful - at first i was thinking that the dad was abusing the child or fighting for custody or something like that, I wasn't expecting at all that he had died ... Wow ... Absolutely LOVEd this and i can feel some inspiration coming on from it ... Excellent excellent excellent - best of luck in the contest, not that you need it!!!
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this. I'm glad you liked it and saw where I was trying to make it sad and yet happy at the same time.
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This was the most amazing and heartfelt thing I have ever read. I have never read a piece that made me literally cry and smile all in just a few moments apart. This piece was so short yest so so powerful. I am astounded.. I mean this was equisite. The beginning grabbed my heart right off...I love kids and God and something that starts like this is catching.. after that each line carried me on. I was so anxious to know what happened. I loved the ending. Even though both die it is kinda the best happiest ending. They get to be right where they want to be.. no more pain just together and happy. I was not ready for that at all.. I just did not see that sort of thing comming. You have completely amazed me.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your comments. It means so much to me.
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I shivered. I actually shivered upon finishing this.
You have done quite an amazing job here and I wish you the best of luck in this contest!
(And Im sorry that my comment is so similar to spread my poisons...I didnt mean it to be!
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I'm glad you liked this. I wasn't sure how this would turn out and on my first write, I had several letters that Marissa had written to God, but it made the story too long for a short story contest. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for the applause.
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my god this was absolutely amazing.
it gave me the shivers, i've never read anything that's had this effect on me before.
i adored the way you started with the little girl's letter to god, it was so gut-wrenchingly painful, and as the story went on and everything started to come together my stomach literally ached for her!
amazing job, the intense emotion in here i am unable to describe. i'll keep an eye out for more of your work, good luck in the contest,
love laura xoxoxoxox ♥
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