Shadows leapt from the smoothly-painted, midnight, blue walls of the living room. A seventeen-year old teenaged girl poked her head through the open window, of a stylish, apartment and watched the hustle and bustle, of the city of New York, Manhattan below her. Meanwhile, a modern-day, witch, Joanna dumped her heavy, grocery bags on the sidewalk, with a groan…1
Rapunzel’s long, silky ponytail was dangling down the window, hanging near the sidewalk; Joanna gritted her perfectly, milk, white teeth, in rage. How many times have I told her never to let her ponytail anywhere near the sidewalk! Imagine all that attention Rapunzel could draw to herself! Thought Joanna, furiously. Sometimes, she even wished that just like the fairy-tale witches, she could simply; point her finger at Rapunzel and turn her into an ugly, slimy frog.2
She had isolated Rapunzel in the apartment, there for a reason. The witch had hoped that Rapunzel, would never marry anyone, and become a devoted, maid all her life to the witch, and do all the cooking, and cleaning for Joanna. So, that the prophecy, which had been written by the wise, Queen Skye of the Casuarina Bloodline, 16th century France, who was Rapunzel’s mother, would never, come true…3
There will come a day,4
When darkness shall be defeated5
By the power of light,6
Peace shall be restored7
To the country once again,8
When a young princess of the Casuarina bloodline,9
With hair as radiant as10
The rising sun,11
Will marry a fine, prince12
Upon a white horse,13
And in unity they shall rule14
With wisdom in one hand15
And Justice in the other,16
They shall bring joy and peace17
To France and it’s people.18
Joanna bent down to pick up her grocery bags, and glared at Rapunzel,19
“Rapunzel! Let down your ponytail this way!” Ordered Joanna, impatiently,20
Rapunzel rolled her eyes, and tilted her head at a slight angle. Her blond ponytail shimmered like fine, golden threads under the sunlight. The witch, who hardly gave any second thoughts about her adopted daughter’s long, elegant hair, made a hasty, grab for Rapunzel’s ponytail.21
“I’m over here, you half-brained girl!” shrieked Joanna, I had no idea, I had kidnapped such an unintelligent, child from the Royal Family! She thought, rolling her eyes.22
Rapunzel sighed,23
“Mum-I mean…mother, why don’t you just use the elevator, you know-the lift, the thing that takes you up to our floor?” She asked, indignantly.24
Joanna snorted,25
“Why should I?” She demanded.26
“Because...everyone else in Manhattan uses them,” Replied Rapunzel, blinking.27
There was a brief pause, before Joanna replied,28
“So I see. But, who cares if everyone uses those dull, things that go up and down! Because, I don’t give a thought to those wild, grey machines everyone’s crazy about!” She shouted, she sniffed and clenched her fist around Rapunzel’s braid, and hiked her way up to the window. Beads of sweat rolled down her forehead, and her back ached, as she scurried up the wall’s surface to the apartment’s window. When I get up there, I’m going to punish her, and punish her for good…29
“Oww! Mother…It hurts!” Yelped Rapunzel, tugging at a tangle in her hair. Joanna was perched on a creaky, wooden, three-legged stool, Rapunzel’s faded, bronze-tinted hairbrush grasped in one hand and a bottle of hair oil in the other.30
“Is it your hair, again? Well, you brush it then!” She answered, angrily. Dumping the hairbrush, on the wooden, dressing table it landed with an earsplitting thud. Hastily, Joanna thrusted the bottle of hair oil aside.31
“I’ve had enough! You’re not going with me to the supermarket, or even go to the Central Park! You’ll stay here forever, till the day you die!” She yelled,32
“No T.V, newspapers, or magazines! I’ll make sure; you’ll never poke your head through any window, again!” Added Joanna, furiously, making a grab for her classy, black handbag with soft, leather straps, and a L’Oreal Paris “Volcanic red” lipstick from the kitchen counter. She ran a comb hastily through her dark, black hair, and slowly, scrambled down the Apartment’s window with a makeshift rope attached to a window ledge, safely, on to the sidewalk.33
Without uttering as much as a single word, to Rapunzel she marched down the sidewalk, muttering to passers-by, in a low and impatient tone.34
“Out of my way, you idiot…”35
Rapunzel watched from the apartment, forlornly at her adopted mother, Joanna, and aside from that, she stole meticulous glances at the teenagers, adults, and children with their carefree, smiles and excited voices, she sung in her charming, high voice a song, that she learned years ago, at her Elementary School in Manhattan, called, “My Heart, My Home.” This was sung, to the tune of an old American Pioneer Song “Home on the Range”36
“I wish…I could fly,37
Like a butterfly…38
If I could search, I would surely see39
The crystal, clear skies,40
The moon in her glory…41
The sun beaming down upon the world,42
My home, my home, my home43
Where the birds and the animals roam,44
Where troubles are far-”45
All of a sudden, there was a clamorous, clatter of a horse’s, solid hoofs pounding down on concrete from down below the apartment’s window, Rapunzel paused, her innocent, imaginative, blue eyes danced with excitement and astonishment,46
“Excuse me, fine maiden,” Came a voice, from down below. It was fearless, yet kind-sounding,47
“Do you mean me? A fine maiden? I doubt that…” Replied Rapunzel, blushing, she smiled shyly at the teenaged boy, mounted on the graceful, white, horse. The teenaged boy, to Rapunzel’s eyes, was a kind-looking soul, with hazel brown eyes, that glowed with intelligence and courage. His dark brown hair was the colour of chocolate, trimmed short, close to his head, and to the astonishment of Rapunzel his hair showed not a single sign of hair dye or even hair gel, unlike the rowdy, teenaged boys that passed the apartment, regularly with spiked, or gelled hair.48
The boy, chuckled,49
“Of course, you are a fine maiden…your highness,” He replied, politely, in perfect, French. Rapunzel, cringed,50
“I am not a princess, if that’s what you mean…to say, my name is Rapunzel Goldfinch Casuarina, it’s a pleasure to meet you…” The boy, almost toppled off the riding saddle,51
“I’m sorry, I-I really have to explain…I am Prince Josef of 16th century, Northern France, I have come to rescue you, princess,” He said, apologetically, in English, this time, and told her the whole story, about the prophecy, Joanna, and that she was really a princess, who had been kidnapped by Joanna, a dark, witch who had ambitions of ruling the entire world. Rapunzel, was startled,52
“What? I told you…there must, be some sort of mistake! So, this is all true? My parents, are really alive? And I’m actually trapped in the modern world, by Joanna?” Asked Rapunzel, sighing. Josef simply nodded,53
“Yes, it’s all true. But, you must come with me; you must get out before, it’s too late! You must leave the 21st century, at once; your father, King Jehan is sick, and he has no hope of living another day, unless he lays eyes on his own daughter, which is you, Rapunzel, bearing the White Rose of Peace.” Explained Josef, calmly, Rapunzel had invited him into the apartment, for some lunch, which were cheese, tomato, and lettuce sandwiches, with a bit of “Garden Herb Salad Dressing” drizzled over the top of the bread slices, and warm, mugs of coffee or tea. But the prince, who had sampled some coffee, made a face,54
“It’s too…strong, and bitter! I think I’ll have some tea please…” Rapunzel ducked her head, concealing a chuckle. I wonder, in the 16th century, if they ever did drink coffee, well I’ll write a detailed report for my history teacher!55
“Umm…Josef? What is that white rose of peace thing?” Asked Rapunzel, taking a tiny, bite into her sandwich, the prince gave her a sideways glance, which told her…I thought I explained everything. But the prince, explained anyway, while stirring his piping hot, mug of tea.56
“The White Rose of Peace is of course, an ordinary-looking, white rose. But, really the White Rose itself, was actually enchanted four centuries ago…and, was stated by an unknown King, that it was to be given to the next heir or heiress, of the Casuarina bloodline, when he or she, was crowned. It is an emblem and token of the three qualities…I mean-virtues, that are looked for, in the heart of an heir or heiress, to the Casuarina throne,” Explained the prince, sipping his tea. Rapunzel raised an eyebrow,57
“So what are the three virtues?” 58
Asked Rapunzel, picking up the sugar bowl, and spooning brown sugar into the prince’s tea mug,59
“The three virtues are Justice, Wisdom, and Honesty. I believe, since you are the heiress to the throne, you have at least one of these virtues in your heart,”60
He said, with a grin.61
“Now, will you excuse me?” 62
He asked, as he got up from the table, and piled all the dishes in the sink…63
Five Years later…64
Five years had passed, since Rapunzel left the 21st Century, with Prince Josef on his elegant, white horse through a special, time traveling device. Microwaves, radios, cell phones, and Television were now just a faint memory. 65
Rapunzel was no longer, a teenager, she was now twenty-two years old and happily married to Prince Josef. She had given birth to two identical twin children, who were three minutes apart, the older twin was a boy, named Jacques, who was four years old, and the younger twin, was a girl, named Angeline Rose. Rapunzel, sighed heavily, as Angeline Rose, and Jacques tugged at her skirts, impatiently,66
“Mummy! Can you tell us a story?” Begged Jacques and Angeline Rose, Rapunzel beamed down at her twins, as she gazed at two eager pairs of blue eyes that looked into her own similar, blue, eyes,67
“Oh…alright then, you little crabs!” She grabbed Jacques’ and Angeline Rose’s tiny, hands off her soft, expensive, blue, silk dress. Now…please, stop tugging at my blue, silk, dress like that, my little angels, you all know it cost a million dollars!” Teased Rapunzel, Josef simply threw back his head and giggled,68
“Don’t play stupid with me, sweetheart! It cost several hundred dollars…” 69
Meanwhile, Angeline Rose and Jacques swiftly sat on the soft tufts of fresh, green, grass, without uttering a single word. Their eyes shimmered with delight, as they waited to hear their mother, Queen Rapunzel tell them one of her many, wonderful stories! Rapunzel cleared her throat, and spoke,70
“Now, in a country faraway, called the United States, in the busy city of New York, Manhattan, there was a young, teenaged girl, who lived with a mean, bossy witch called Joanna…” The twins, chuckled with delight,71
“What was the girl’s name?” Asked Angeline Rose, out of her own curiosity, instantly, a cherry, red, blush stained Rapunzel’s cheeks,72
“Her name was Rapunzel… and yes, it is, and will always be…” Answered Rapunzel, her sky, blue, eyes had that faraway look. 73
And for a brief moment in time, Rapunzel and Josef shared secret smiles; they each knew this story, equally well, as if it all happened only yesterday, not five years ago…74
Author notes
Dear reader,
I hope you will like this story, of Rapunzel, re-told by me. I spent a week, editing and rewriting it...
Thanks,
Essie
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Your story was a wonderful write. You have a vivid imagination that isn't often seen in the youth of today. I must agree with the previous person that there are too many commas. A suggestion would be:Shadows leapt from the smoothly-painted midnight blue walls of the living room. A seventeen-year old teenaged girl poked her head through the open window of a stylish apartment and watched the hustle and bustle of the city of New York,* this part here is making the sentence a run on Manhattan below her*. Meanwhile a modern-day witch, Joanna, dumped her heavy grocery bags on the sidewalk with a groan… I suppose you could read this and not correct it, but I always feel like life is one giant learning process. You have information and dialoge and other things that have commas around it. I wish there were some way to tell you how to improve this, but I am young myself and am surely not all knowing. This is a wonderful story as I said before, so please dont take my critisicm the wrong way. Keep up the good work, and God bless.
Eve -
I think its great! Alot of your descriptions are really vivid and this whole thing was a joy to read! I loved your introduction, it was really strong and hooking. How you introduced Joanna was great. The only suggestion I would make is cut down on the commas. You use too many, and some in places where they are not required. I really enjoyed this story!
Julia

