“Battle Of Love”1
Seems forever, this journey to bring what has become the dream of my life to a reality. Loving you, knowing your heart was ripped out of you, destroyed and abused by love forbidden. I can only beckon to your heart to release the warmth of the love I know is locked away, waiting to be freed once again. We spent so much time together, spilling our hearts, letting them spill over with all the things personal and sacred to each other. We cried, we touched. Why? Won’t you give in to your need for me to make you happy, once and for all in your life? I can only promise that I will treat you as the delicate flower you are, waiting to bloom. I fight every day to help you understand. I cannot give up or ever just go away. I must see this through! The time has arrived baby. 2
What I need to hear from you is this:3
Baby!4
‘Your love for me is so honest and sincere it should make me realize and tell you, I love you and need you now, always~’ But I know I have to run all this over and over in my mind until I can let go of the things holding me back. I need to release the restraints that bind me to loneliness. I need to say to myself - I want him to be with me. I trust he will be the man he has shown himself to be all along. He loves me so much and has proven it in every way. I believe in him, and I believe his love that is deeply imbedded in his heart for me. He hass gone through hell and back for me. My stubborn ways are not a game, but I realize I can’t continue to ignore the song my heart truly sings. It’s a melody serenading me and all the while, he’s still here wanting, waiting and still he loves me unconditionally. 5
He’s a true blessing for my happiness. Why must I make us both suffer because of my past hurts and pains? My heart tells me I want this love affair with him. Screw that I’m feeling unworthy, Not being good enough or worth loving, yet he knows what to expect with me. His caring heart and openness with me has proven the gentleness of his love with all the compassions of being patient and kind with me. I have shared and poured my heart out to him. He has taken the worst of me and purified my heart. He heals me, makes me smile beyond any dreams I've ever imagined or ever thought I would experience again. 6
He says I make him happy. I don’t know why or how but in my heart I want so much to be happy, I want to truly be happy making him happy. I should just bring him home to my heart where he is meant to be. Destiny awaits, and he is my destiny. I didn’t ask for this love, yet I love him deeply. All I know is that I’m stuck with this need to be held and loved by someone. Why not him? I must take this chance. I don’t want to lose this man-ever! Hey baby! You’re stuck on me, as I’m stuck on you. So let's just be stuck together, because I want to believe this is what is meant to be and should be. I must submit now, all of my heart, and all of me to you. I want and need you and give myself to you. I do love you Completely!7
Writings of Malabu ©20058
This writing was edited by:9
pattyann4500: (thank You Patricia)10
Author notes
I am not a very good story teller or writer..However I would love to write more in depth thoughts in long form as to improve my writing ablilities...
This is a real life love affair with a woman who had been abused and although she had nobody to lean on. It was I who cared and shared and was there for her. I loved her! But she could not get over the fears of her past. She loved me but never did we have a chance. It was a battle for love.
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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had to reread this..its always so touching
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friedns till the end
you know this was excellent, it reminded me of something..someone i know. And how i feel toward him, how much i want him like a hidden desire, with out know if he will have me back. -
Stuck together;
yeah! like dogs or earthworms, but in a metaphisical, uber-wholesome soprt of way, in a place where scars on love muscles really DO hear.
It seems we share a wounded dove complex, a need to love by enrichment, a nourishing of scarred spirits. Makes us fundamentally good people/lovers, but bound to lose out to a darkness that lounges in a wife-beater and a grafted beer, with a sneer to ignite that sore heart that was born in ochre hurt.
I love it when men bare their entrails such, a strength the warrior will not fathom. Good stuff, very engaging. I wish I could write prose so well.
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one day... i will re-edit this...i've so much want too...thank for dropping by
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wonderful!
Sad, bitterly so. But it happens too often. Women abused and rendered incapable of trusting. You are gifted in your understanding. May you be blessed in love, for your writing already is. -
Thanks for the pointers......if you care to show or help with those slight problems I have.....I would be most greatful for them....
Hugs
Malabu -
Thank you for entering this in my contest. You do have some problems mainly with punctuation and a bit with grammar, but I don't think it's something that you can't help. You have great potential!
In this you have written about a love that you can't have because of past baggage. That's the most difficult thing to get rid of in a relationship. Past baggage can haunt a new relationship until it destroys it, and no one can help this person but her. I really do know what this feels like, and I wish you luck with your friend. Thank you again. Hugs, Patricia -
awe Moons......this was sooooooo long ago.....and only a memory now.....but every once in a while.....it comes back....this was a moment in time...now put to a memory in writing.....thanks for the shoulder......looks perty...
Huggs
Malabu -
Mally, this is so sad.. love is so delicate anyways and to have been abused is really a hard thing to get past, always that self doubt embedded in the depth of your soul.. I hope you find the love you so deserve and want.. in deep appreciation of how you feel.. I am here for a shoulder or lend an ear or 2 ..sis..moons..
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