Horror?

A woman stands alone in a parking lot.1

She's looking down at the ground almost studying it.2

She looks up and is surprised to see a girl standing there.3

"Did it hurt?" the girl asks smiling deviously.4

The woman stares for a moment then replies,5

"D-did what hurt?"6

"THIS!" The girl uses some sort of unseen power to pierce the woman. She falls to her knees and the girl skips away, leaving her unconscious on the ground.7

When she wakes up, she finds herself in an unknown bed in an unknown place.8

It's dark, and as she looks around she sees no one.9

But then she hears a voice, "Dance with me Josephine, lets dance off the edge of the earth. Lets dance into the stars Josephine, and never come back." 10

The voice is so sweet, so familiar. When it speaks no more she finds herself calling for it to comeback.11

She hears a faint laugh and gets out of bed to follow the voice.12

"Come, Josephine. Come, my love. Wait no longer," it says.13

She turns out into a hall. There she finds a woman, walking away. 14

"Excuse me," Josephine calls out.15

Slowly the woman turns revealing a horrible face. She has no eyes, they seem to have been scratched from their place. Her mouth, is sewn together with two large stitches of coal black string.16

Yet the has an eerie likeness of Josephine herself, and she seems to be trying to cry out, though her stitches prohibit her. 17

Josephine runs away in horror, tripping as she does. The woman reaches out towards her then slowly her body begins to disintegrate and turn to ash. 18

Author notes

eh...I'm just playing around with my writing...trying to get better...

I kept seeing the woman and the girl in the parking lot...over and over...so I had to write it. I just kept picturing it.

What did you think? Please comment!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Shadow Recon
    January 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow, I liked the flow of it Blakely, good job, mesa like


    MONKEY? O.o


  • xBleedingxWerewolfx
    January 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    WOOO AWSOME

    omg that was SO TOTALY AWSOME I LOVED IT OMG that was great write some more stuff plz i want to read it

  • not goat
    January 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    good


  • Glamorous
    January 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    good or bad omfg?

  • not goat
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    omfg

  • xCrystalxFate
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    scary lol. great job though. keep it up. bye!
    ~Crystal~

  • Kristen Corpse
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Blakely O.O; Holy hell one question

    ARE YOU WRITING WITH INNER DEMONS

    Jeebus...I just wrote an erotica and come to this. ><; Scary...nice right though. Keep it coming.

    Love,
    Kristen


  • Tekno Suicide
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    GLAMMER WAMMER! This was purty cool! <3

  • Teenage Confessions
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    amazingly horrific

    oh wow, this is totally gruesome!!wicked!!I really like this because it's so descriptive and you can really imagine the place where she is, and to me you really hear that voice singing and can fel Josephine's fear, but she's so curious as well. Please write more on this because I erally want to find out how it ends...Oh man, you've made me start chewing my nails again!!!
    Kal

  • Flightless Raven
    December 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    o _ O wow

1 - 10 of 10