September, 13, 1957

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September, 13, 1957 2

"Why does this place look so familiar to me?"  I kept this question in my mind after verbalizing it once.  The train track I had just crossed over led east out of town, but it wasn't just that.  The stores, the Five and Dime on the corner, a gas station with the flying horse for a logo, they were there-all of them.  Why was this so familiar?3

I had never, to my knowledge, been to this little Pennsylvania town, but I knew this place.  I was sure my mother would know, but she had never mentioned our living in the state of Pennsylvania as I could recall.   4

Turning left at the only traffic light in town, I drove slowly through the street trying to get a good look at as much as I could.  I came to a near stop when I heard a horn blowing behind me and a gruffus voice yelling for me to get the hell out of the street.  Startled, I pulled over to the side of the street and let him pass.  He gave me an angry look as he mouthed obscenities.  I smiled sweetly as he passed and waved hoping to lighten him up a bit.  Then I realized that I'd probably never see this man again and wondered why I even bothered. 5

The road curved to the right outside of town and had a road to the left right in the middle of the curve.  My car seemed to veer onto that road as if it knew where it was going.  Into the country I drove; the day was sunny and warm for early Spring.  Then I saw it-the house I grew up in...or so it seemed. 6

The two-story frame house had two large windows in the upper front which loomed down at me as if they were vacant eyes.  The house was empty of any life, and it seemed lonely and haunting.  The grass was grown up around, and the plank sidewalk was nearly hidden by fronds and bushes.  I parked in front across the road and got out of my car. Walking across the planks and onto the porch, I noticed that the windows were unobstructed.  I leaned forward with my hands to the side of my face to block out any glare on the window.  A fireplace stood in the inside wall.  Looking into the other window, I noticed that the fireplace was double sided.  Both rooms were heated by the same one. 7

Furnishings, a fire and people suddenly appeared.  It was just a momentary flash, but they seemed real.  Looking again, I noticed they were gone.  I placed my hand on the doorknob, just giving it a jiggle. To my surprise, it turned and the door opened to me.  Although I was frightened, and my heart was beating rapidly, I had to go in.  Upon entering the room, I felt a chill go through me.  I knew this house, but how? 8

I put my hands to my eyes as if to block out whatever I might see. When I reopened my eyes, I saw me.  I was wearing a lovely dress with heels and silk stockings with a seam up the back.  My hair pulled back into a bun, makeup on my face and an apron over my clothes, I was standing by the fireplace with a drink in my hand.  I turned around and walked over to the beautifully embroidered sofa.  It must have been quite expensive and out of place in this community.  A man sat there awaiting me.  I sat next to him, and he put his arm around me. We sat for awhile, talking, enjoying each other, but I jumped up quickly and ran into the kitchen at the back of the house.  Smoke rolled out of the oven as I opened it and yelled for help.  He came to my rescue and pulled the burning pan from the oven dropping it quickly into the large single sink.  I was in tears, but he just laughed.  He grabbed me, kissed me severely and told me to get my coat.  "We'll go up to the diner for a bite.  We can't let a burned roast ruin the night." 9

The diner was a hole in the wall, and it still stands there.  They had the best open-faced roast beef sandwich I had ever eaten.  I waited for the two to walk past me and out the door, but they did not.  They were running upstairs quickly, playfully, and I could hear them as they made love.  Within an hour, the two came back down, dressed in bathrobes and smoking cigarettes.  I couldn't help but feel a bit lonely.10

Another drink appeared in her hand.  The two were drinking pretty heavily by now, and their voices were growing ever louder.  A fight was brewing, and they were too drunk to stop anything they were saying.   11

Finally the man had had enough.  I called him a name, and he slapped me swiftly across the face.  I picked up the ashtray, heavy lead crystal, and flung it at him with all my strength.  Crashing against the fireplace, it cascaded to the floor in tiny pieces.  At that the man turned toward me, grabbing my arms and forcing me backward to the wall.  Pinning me there, his right leg went between my legs to help pin me so that I could not move.  I tried to kick him to no avail.  I tried to get my hands loose, but he was too strong.  My mouth widened in a scream begged him to let me go, but his body crushed mine. 12

As I watched this all unfold in my mind, I wondered what it was that was happening in front of me.  Was I about to awaken at any moment and find that this was all a dream?  Oh, God, I hoped so! 13

Suddenly, my head came quickly forward and caught him hard on the chin.  His tongue was caught between his teeth as he was mouthing something, but blood began to flow down his face.  His anger became so intense that he let go of me with his right hand to hit me with the fist.  I caught him in the side with an elbow and then with my knee as he bent down.  My mistake was that I hadn't any shoes on.  I tried to run-the two ran right past me and out the door, but he grabbed my hair and stopped me in my tracks on the splintered planks of the sidewalk.  He swung me around and slapped me twice so fast that I felt shocked by it.  He fairly dragged me back into the house and threw me back into the living room floor. 14

My breath caught as I watched this fight between two lovers.  It was so much life my own life and my mother's life.  But I was not prepared for what I witnessed next.  The man had been straddling my middle so that I was unable to move away from him.  My face was no longer mine.  It was now nothing more than a bloody mess, pummelled into oblivion.  When he found that I could no longer move, he removed himself from me and pulled me up to my feet which would no longer hold me.  He then slammed my head against the fireplace as hard as he could.  As my body fell to the hearth, he stumbled back onto the sofa, fell onto it and passed out. 15

When he did this, I walked over to the fireplace holding my hands over my mouth trying not to cry out to loud.  I was so frightened, and it was all so real that I was afraid of awakening him.  My hands moved to my eyes as I tried not to look at this woman who was me.  When I brought my hands down from my eyes, the room was once again empty.  Dust and cobwebs were everywhere, and it was obvious that the house had not been lived in for many years. 16

I did a little research the next day.  Obviously the library holds all the community secrets.  The house had been the home to a young couple who had once been very happy.  They found that they could not have children, and the two were so filled with sadness that the drink was the only thing they shared.  Many arguments had been the talk of the community until the thirteenth of September 1957.  That was the night I witnessed-the night he killed her.  That just happened to be my birthday.   17