Writer's Block

Writer's Block1

Kevin Sting, the great writer, wandered aimlessly along the rural lane.  His insomnia was bothering him terribly, and would until he managed to organize his thoughts on the next chapter of his book and get them typed into his word processor.  By the time he realized where he was he was nearly into town, so he decided to stop at the hardware store and pick up some fire starter.  He had been writing a book on two very separate tracks, ok, let's face it, he had been writing two different books, but hadn't had the berries to finish either, so he was trying to tie them in together somehow and write a satisfactory ending to the hybrid.  The only problem was that one was a futuristic romance and the other was a historical piece full of wizards and ghosts and all the rest of the stuff he was well known for filling his seemingly endless trashy novels with.  He had decided that he would have the wizards see into the future rather than the scientific instruments see into the past, but he was wondering what the point would be.  A book has to have a point, doesn't it?2

Deke (Deacon) Wilferson was coming out of town, heading to his farm, as Kevin turned onto the main road.  Well, you couldn't really call it a farm anymore.  Deke hadn't raised anything except a passel of garden raiding kids and a bunch of dogs and cats that always seemed to wind up dead on the road.  The place might as well be a pet semetary.  In all the time that Kevin had been living up the road from him, restoring the ancient farmhouse that seemed to swallow materials like a black hole it seemed like Deke had never done a lick of work.  Deke had found that not raising crops could be more lucrative than raising them, so he found out every spring what crops the government was paying people not to grow and swore that he was going to plant twice the acreage that he owned in that crop.  In good years there would be a flood or drought and he could claim crop insurance on the fields he hadn't planted too.  It was a good life, if only he didn't have to wear those damned overhauls to prove to the world that he was a farmer.  He much preferred the pretty dresses and high heels he kept in the now unused barn.3

So, there was Deke proudly driving home with the brand new completely computerized Dodge Stellar Van that he had just purchased from his brother Zeke (Ezekiel) tax free and written off as part of his struggling farm business.  It was a dream car and Deke was planning to use it for quite a few business trips, all tax deductible of course.  He tried a few of the voice controls.  "Visor up."  The sun visor rose.  "Rear lift full."4

"Working." Replied the computer.  He'd gotten Dorline, the sexiest voice they had on the computer.  "Rear lift full." she, it, purred a moment later as the air shocks finished pumping up.5

"Visor down."6

The sun visor lowered.  "Damn, can't see a damn thing but the hood." muttered Deke.7

"Hood" replied Dorline.8

Whap. The hood was plastered across the windshield.  Deke jammed his foot down on the break pedal.9

"Anti-lock brake system working." Sixty percent speed reduction, eighty percent speed reduction, ninety five percent speed reduction, vehicle stopped." purred Dorline.  Then she said something that sounded like, "What the blazes."  By that time Deke was outside and didn't hear it though.10

Kevin had been bent over beside the road; watching a couple of ants struggling over a dead bee, and making phaser sounds while he pointed his finger at them, pretending he was Captain Kirk shooting Willnots or whatever those pointy eared guys he chased around the universe were called.  He never saw Deke coming, but somewhere around the "eighty percent speed reduction" point his head had met with the housing of the Pentium six computer that made the Dodge what it was, Dorline.11

The ambulance carried Kevin off in one direction, sirens wailing, lights flashing.  The tow truck dragged the van off in the other.  After he finished with the cops Deke walked home.  The ants were dead, crushed when Kevin fell on them.12

Kevin seemed to be in some kind of a coma.  He wasn't dead, didn't even seem to have a detectable dead zone in his head at all as there was a lot of activity on the 'graph.  He just wasn't responding to anything.  Despite what his wife was prone to saying about him it wasn't normal.  The hospital was swamped with calls from his fans.  Soon the town was full of them.13

Three days after the accident Deke got his van back he decided that going down to the hospital and visiting Kevin would be the neighborly thing to do.  Sting's wife, Carrie, arranged for the staff to let him in.14

The seat didn't feel right to Deke.  In fact, it felt downright uncomfortable.  "Seat configuration alpha." he roared.15

"Configuring." replied Dorline.  Her voice seemed to have a bit of an edge to it.  The seat relaxed into the comfortable shape that he and Zeke had spent half an hour at the show room programming it for when he bought it.  By the time he got to the hospital it felt like it was trying to replace his spine with a brick again.16

He walked into the hospital and got directions to Sting's room.  When he got there he thanked his lucky stars that there was no one else there.  He started to talk to the shape on the bed.  For once Sting didn't interrupt him.  Damn know it all writer was one of the most butting iniest fellas Deke knew.17

Deke was well into his story about what had happened when suddenly Sting's eyes flew wide open.  It was just at the part where he was telling Dorline, "Visor up."  When he said, Visor down." the writer's eyes dropped shut again.18

"Visor up."  The eyes opened.19

"Visor down.  They closed.20

Deke yelled for the doctors, then scooted.21

Back in the van Deke spent a few minutes sorting the seat out again, then started the engine.  "Lights on." he commanded.22

"Lights on.  Lights on.  I'll light you up all right." was the answer.  The engine revved.  The tires started to squeal.  As the front brakes released and the van gathered momentum Deke reached for the computer/manual switch.  The air bag went off causing him to punch himself in the eye.  "Damn, that's gonna be a shiner." was his last thought before the vehicle hit the side of the hospital.23

Kevin opened his eyes and pointed his finger at the night nurse. "Vwwwwwwhhhhoo, vwwwwhhhhooooo." he kind of whistled/hummed.  "Phaser on stun."24

Despite the psychiatric report they let him go home the next day.25