Backfire

Backfire 1

"Would you look at that face!  Woo!  Come here baby and let me suck on it for a minute or two,"  Clarence White yelled out to the demure Whitney Brown as she scurried away into the school building hugging her books in tightly in her arms.  "Hey, come back!  You know I want you!"  His friends laughed as they slapped him on the back and cheered him on. 2

As she ran through the hallway to the ladies' room, she felt a little sick to her stomach.  She hated school, but she wanted to go to college one day.  It was her dream to get into the political arena.  She figured that she'd never become the first female president, but she could change things in her home town by being on the city council or perhaps the school board.  Then she'd have something to say about jerks like Clarence. 3

Unfortunately, in the restroom were Erica Manley, Sarah Collins and Penny Hershel, all friends of Clarence.  Erica was holding a lit cigarette in her lips as she talked to the others, the cigarette doing a dance as her lips moved.  An inch-long ash had no other way to hold on and dove headlong into the sink as if it were committing suicide for being so close to Erica's mouth.  Whitney almost laughed, but she tried to run into a stall before they started in on her, but it was too late. 4

"Look who we have here!  If it isn't Whitney Brown, our star clown who wears the frown all over town."  Erica loved doing her sarcastic rhymes toward people she disliked, and Whitney was the one she disliked most of all.  She grabbed every chance she could to make Whitney as miserable as possible. 5

Whitney, with her mousy-brown hair, her vacant gray eyes and out-of-style clothes made an easy target for the kids in all her classes.  They all made fun of her, but it wasn't just calling her names.  They played the sarcasm card thinking that one day she would fall for their stupidity and believe that one of the boys really liked her.  She had come close with Clarence in the seventh grade, but he hurt her deeply in front of many of his friends, and the humiliation was more than she could bear. 6

Erica, grabbed Whitney's arm before she could run past, and said, "Are you ignoring me, Whitney?  Umm, I wanted to ask you something.  You know, I'm having a party over at my house this weekend.  My parents will be out of town, and everyone will be there.  Would you like to come?"  Her friends nearly busted out into laughter as they thought of Whitney being at one of their parties.  The crowd would eat her alive! 7

“Ah, are you asking me to your party, for real, Erica?  I, I mean, you wouldn’t kid me would you?  Whitney suddenly turned to face Erica and her friends, her bottom lip trembled, and her body started to shudder with anticipation and fear. 8

Erica looked at her friends with a devil-may-care look on her face as she looked back at Whitney and said, “Well, of course, I’d love for you to come.  I think we should be friends. You know, Whit, I’m really sorry about how everyone has been treating you, and I’m not going to hurt you any more.  So, come to my party.  Be at my house at eight.” 9

Whitney hugged her books just a little tighter as she searched the faces of all three girls.  She noticed that their smiles were quite genuine, and they all seemed almost hopeful.  “Okay, I’ll be there.  I guess I don’t have anything to do Friday anyway.”10

“Great!” said Erica, looking excited.  We’ll see you there.  Later, Whit!” 11

The three ran from the rest room as quickly as they could to keep from laughing aloud at their good fortune.  Whitney probably wouldn’t show up, but they’d have a little surprise waiting for her if she did. 12

Friday was upon them before they realize it, and the party was in full swing but the time Whitney showed up.  But the plan Erica and her friends had ready and waiting was not to catch Whitney unaware.  At the door, Erica didn’t recognize Whitney at all.  Whitney had had her hair done in the afternoon, cut in a cute bob with upturned curls, her freckles disappeared under the loveliest colors of makeup, and her dress was short, cute and very trendy.  Hidden under all those baggy clothes Whitney had been wearing was the body of a model, shapely and curved in all the right places, and a push-up bra made her look quite endowed.  Not one person recognized her, but may mouths were touching the floor. 13

As Whitney was escorted into the part by a very handsome young man, also unfamiliar to anyone, she smiled sweetly and threw her head back just slightly as if to throw her hair from her face.  She walked gracefully into the middle of the room and was pulled gently by her partner into his arms for a dance.  He held her closely as if he were drawn to her like a magnet.  Every eye was upon them-who was this Cinderella and her Prince? 14

Finally Erica could help herself no longer.  She walked up to the girl, tapped her shoulder and asked, “Do we know the two of you?  Are you crashing my party?” 15

“Why, Erica, dear, it’s me, Whit!  You did say to come, but you never said anything about a date, so I brought Jim.  He’s from another high school, a basketball player.  Isn’t he quite the hunk!!” As she noticed that Erica was speechless, Whitney then said, “Oh, by the way, great party!” 16

She turned back to her partner who just happened to be her cousin from the next town over.  He was indeed on the basketball team, but not one person knew him.  How ironic that Whitney was the prettiest girl with the cutest boyfriend and not one guy could keep his eyes off her.  Erica turned away suddenly and walked over to her two friends and Clarence.  “Okay, it’s time to get rid of her!  I want her out of my party, NOW!” 17

Clarence turned to her and said, “Well, why don’t you let her stay.  You had a plan anyway didn’t you?” 18

“But, we girls were going to cut her hair all off and smear makeup all over her.  We were going to force her to strut around the room in a piece of lingerie.  It isn’t fair that she ruined our plans!” 19

Clarence’s eyes were on Whitney as he turned away from a sobbing Erica and walked over to tap Jim on the shoulder.  Jim smiled and winked at Whitney as he turned his cousin over to Clarence who held her tightly as they danced.  Erica was still sobbing when Clarence and Whitney left together less than an hour later.  Finally her sarcasm had finally gotten the better of Erica.20

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • pattyann4500
    January 20, 2006
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    Thanks, fathom. I wasn't sure whether she should leave with Clarence or not, but it ended that way. Sometimes the stories or poems write themselves and amaze even me with the paths they take. Hugs, Patricia


  • fathom me
    January 20, 2006
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    Cool story dear Patricia ..though I didnt like her leaving with Clarence.. But enjoyed it anyway

  • Kilrah
    January 6, 2006
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    I did get the sarcasm you used, but it was too little in my opinion, I like stories laced with sarcasm and that was what I asked for in the contest
    I really liked your story though

  • pattyann4500
    January 6, 2006
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    Darn! I guess I lost my sarcasm somewhere. LOL Thank you so much for choosing my story. I did use a little sarcasm, but I didn't think I should overdo it. You are so kind. Hugs, Patricia

  • Kilrah
    January 6, 2006
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    This is a very good story, no mistakes that I could spot, thak you for submitting an excellent piece of writing for my contest, I can see that you put a lot in this story and it is also very relevant to today's society.
    It did not really have the heavy sarcasm I was looking for, out of the entries I read, this one is the best by far concerning the art of story writing.

  • pattyann4500
    December 25, 2005
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    Thanks, Sis. I guess I'll have to get busy editing. Spell check obviously didn't understand what I wanted. Hugs, Patricia

  • BonnieQ
    December 25, 2005
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    Great Storyline

    Great story, Sis! So many teens go through such things. I'm eternally grateful that I grew up in a gentler time. Now, it does need a bit of editing for redundancy and spelling/or misused words. Otherwise, you've done a great job! I think it should win the contest!

    Lots of love and hugs, SisB♥n

1 - 7 of 7