Chapter 1: The Liar1
The White Castle, Saptor, stands serene at the centre of the ‘Pinch’.2
Aland De Cantor, King of Saptor and the land of Sylvan, stood on one of the highest towers. He leaned on the white marble balustrade, staring out north and east, his cream and gold robes blowing gently in the breeze, as he watched the waves crashing against the rocks of Pinion Point. 3
From this height they looked tiny but he knew many ships had come to grief there. The winds that could turn in a moment were bad, but worse were the dangerous currents that could sweep unsuspecting ships onto the rocks, even in calm weather. Farther out, the true nature of the Bitter Sea could be seen; waves moving at strange angles to each other as the powerful coastal currents met those of the open ocean.4
To the north, over the buildings of the town, the patchwork of fields and woods spread out of the ‘Pinch’ and faded into the distance. Aland shook his head. Despite the beauty and fertility of his country, he always felt confined here. The Forlorn Mountains that formed the western boundary of his realm looming high on one side, the Bitter Sea on the other. 5
Aland’s land was shaped like a very asymmetric ‘8’; the top - northern part, long and thin; the southern part, pear shaped. Saptor stood in the centre of the narrow waist, the ‘Pinch’. 6
With a sigh, Aland continued his way around the high tower. To the west, he could just make out a hint of the Larg, through Nowhere Pass. It was only on rare occasions that it was clear enough between the peaks, which towered above, to get this hint of yellow through the pass. Aland considered the ancients that had built Saptor and the road through the pass to be demented. They could build something as beautiful as Saptor yet spent vast effort constructing a road that ran to the Larg. 7
"The Larg" Aland whispered the words aloud. 'Such little words for something so vast and terrible,' he thought. 8
When he had been in his teens his Father had insisted that a group of The Elite Guard and a Narga guide had taken him through Nowhere Pass and a little way out into the Larg. His father had said that any King must understand his own limitations and the limits of his land; both points had been indelibly imprinted on Aland. Even now in the safety of Saptor's beautiful walls he could not repress a shiver at the awfulness of the limitless desert.9
Two day's travel out from Saptor had taken them through the pass and into the badlands, where it was so dry the throat burned at each breath. Worse thought, was knowing that if you travelled in the wrong direction and lost sight of the narrow entrance to the pass, not only would you die but that your body would never even be found to bury. To lose your life and soul – to become a lost wreath, in an empty world - what could be worse? 10
Aland shivered again and continued around the tower. The view to the south was very like that to the north as the farms spread wide from the pinch.11
Saptor was a beautiful sight as you approached, but from closer, the castle had a few blemishes to show its age - small repairs to the stone. Aland's people tried their best but the skills that had been used to build Saptor had been lost - people blamed the Day Wars, but the truth was, not one of Aland's people could even tell him who had built Saptor.12
"My King, the council awaits; have you had time to consider?"13
"Tarsh, yes, I'm coming - I was lost in the past."14
Tarsh dipped his head, almost a bow, just a shade more than was needed for formality. Although they were friends, he would never pay his liege less than his due. 15
Aland strode into the room. "My Lords… Who is the boy?"16
The council chamber was wide and lavishly furnished. The white marble walls hung with hand made tapestry and ornate metal and ceramics from many places - gifts from other Kings and Nobles.17
Aland's throne was raised a little above the rest of the room, allowing him to look down on the broad, polished table, where his council were already standing. 18
Sitting back by the wall of the chamber however, was a stranger. Aland peered at him for a moment and guessed his age to be late teens or early twenties but he had an air of confidence about him that belied his youth. His features were fine, with prominent cheekbones and he had thick, black, shoulder length hair, both features unusual among Aland's people. 19
Aland was not even positive the stranger was a man, there was definitely an androgynous quality about him. No facial hair, or even a shadow of it, gave his face a very soft look. His eyes were a very striking amber colour and the look in those eyes made Aland feel for a moment as if he were the interloper. 20
The stranger was dressed in a peculiar costume, a long loose gown, with many pleats or pockets. One half of the top was leaf green the other russet brown and the lower half was the same, but the colours reversed, making him appear like a dull and creased, court jester. 21
Erst De Swar cleared his throat somewhat uncomfortably. "He will not give his name, sire. He wishes to speak with you."22
"Why was he admitted - is this not a private council?" Aland asked with a heavy frown.23
De Swar's discomfort became greater. "The guards were ….. err couldn't…"24
"Guard!" Aland shouted.25
The stranger had remained sitting, his chair tipped back on two legs, and a sneer of disdain on his face throughout the exchange. He casually flopped the chair back onto all four legs and rose to his feet, as three guards entered the council chamber.26
"Remove this buffoon!" the King told them 27
The three moved to obey but one tripped and fell in front of the other two, sending all three sprawling to the floor.28
"I believe he may be protected by a shimmering, Your Highness." De Swar whispered. 29
"You believe that childish rubbish - we shall soon see!"30
Aland's hand moved swiftly to the pommel of his sword. An action he had practised thousands of times - an action that should have been smooth as liss, but as he went to draw his sword, the hilt somehow snagged in the material of his robe jerking it from his hand.31
"Aland! Stop this nonsense before someone is hurt." The stranger waved a hand. His voice was stronger and deeper, more commanding, than his stature and age suggested. "How often have your guards stumbled and fallen?" He waved an open palm to where the guards were still struggling to untangle themselves and regain their feet. They looked as if they were floundering on ice. "Come, you have a fair mind for a farmer - do try to use it!"32
There were gasps from the nobles at the total disrespect the stranger showed to the King.33
Aland bristled. "Who are you? What do you mean by this outrage?"34
The stranger shook his head and snorted. "Outrage? You call this an outrage!” he laughed mirthlessly. “Pah! You disappoint me - I had believed by your actions you were a little more flexible of mind, but it seems you are still just chief yokel." he sneered. "So perhaps you need to be taught a lesson - very well. You may draw your sword - defend yourself!"35
From somewhere below his robe the stranger brought out a slim foil.36
“No your highness - let me!” Tersh cried, but the cry died on his lips and he slumped back in his chair, still as stone.37
“I was talking to the miller not the chaff he’s threshed.” the stranger snapped.38
Aland swept his sword out. Without vanity, he knew himself to be a better than average swordsmen and yet within a few moments he realised he was completely outclassed.39
The stranger parried Aland's first tentative thrust and with blinding speed that gave Aland no chance to block it, the point of the foil found his breastbone. It was just enough to break the skin, a pinprick.40
"You're dead! Try again." the stranger sneered.41
In three minutes Aland had five similar pinpricks in his torso and his pride.42
As a last desperate attempt, he fainted at the stranger's head and brought his heavier sword down as hard as he could on the stranger’s thin foil, expecting it to break, but there was a tooth jarring whine and it was his fine sword that was notched.43
"That was better." The young man smiled as he slapped the blade aside and gave Aland another prick in his mid-rift. "At least it showed some flexibility of mind, but you should find out about your opponent before you take a challenge." 44
The stranger side stepped with all the grace of a dancer and so fast that Aland never saw it coming, lashed out with his foot, sending the sword whirling from Aland's hand. In one smooth movement he continued to twist around and whipped the foil down across one of the empty chairs by the table. For a moment nothing seemed to happen - then the chair collapsed into cleanly cut halves.45
"Now farmer, dismiss your poor guards. We have had fun but we must get to business." The stranger had slipped the foil back below the folds of his robe and gestured with his hand for Aland to be seated.46
Aland waved the embarrassed guards from the room and they were finally able to regain their feet.47
Tersh, who had looked as still as death, groaned and sat up holding his head.48
"Who are you?" Aland demanded.49
"That is not our business - this," the stranger waved a hand at the council, "is. You have called it to decide what should be done about the theft of the Starfire….."50
"How could you know that?" Aland spluttered.51
The stranger sneered. "I haven't even started yet. As you see it, there are two possible courses of action - the first is to do nothing and ignore the loss." The stranger pulled a wry smile. "But you know you wouldn't do that. The second is that you would take humm… four cohorts of the regulars plus two of the Elite Guard and march into Veenor and demand it back." The stranger was nodding to himself. "Yes four," he concluded. "You would rather take five but it would leave Sylvan too weak."52
Aland was stunned, it was exactly the decision he had come to and he had spoken to no one of it.53
"It really would be an unmitigated disaster you know. Oh, you would have no trouble with poor old King Tallow with that size army. Your men are much better trained and better equipped - Sword-Master Fallon has seen to that, but what happens when you have swept across Veenor and reach Harpen?" The stranger grimaced. "Even with that size army you would not be able to take Harpen by storm. It's unlikely the poor old duffer would be ready but there are always large stocks in Harpen. You would face a siege of at least a year, maybe more if resistance stiffened, and you with your supply lines stretched to the limit." The stranger shook his head sadly. "Even if Sylvan stayed with you and they may not, the scars it would leave on your two countries would not heal until your grandchildren are old. No, no, it won't do."54
"So, who ever you are, you're going to suggest I just forget that the most precious jewel of the crown jewels is stolen, is that it!" Aland snapped angrily, stung not only by a strange giving him unsolicited advice but because he seemed privy to the most secret information.55
"Oh no - that would be worse." The stranger shook his head. "Much worse, but consider, a few may pass where many could not. The thieves did not come by the thousands - I will take a small band and recover your trinket for you."56
Aland's face showed his surprise. "Do you believe that you can do that?" 57
The stranger shrugged. "I stand a fair chance - at least I know where it was taken."58
"Huh" Aland snorted. "Since they swiftly departed for Veenor, it hardly takes a genius to work that out!"59
The stranger shook his head and sighed, then his eyes narrowed and a hard look tightened his jaw." Just think how red your face would be when Harpen fell after a year long siege and the Starfire was not there. The route is not the destination - I came across the Larg, you think that means I live there?"60
"You're a liar! No-one can cross the Larg!" Tarsh snapped. "Don't listen to him, Your Highness, he's crazy."61
"Be careful who you call a liar peasant." The stranger did not raise his voice yet the undertones in it sent a chill through all the listeners and Tarsh's face paled. 62
"Not that it is untrue,” he continued almost to himself. “I have lied, stolen and murdered.” The stranger turned his penetrating eyes back to Tarsh, who seemed to shrink beneath his gaze. “But you farmers, living out your simple little lives in a backwater will not criticise me!” The stranger glared around the table, daring anyone to speak, finishing at Aland. “So, what shall it be, your mighty elevation! The easy way or must I try harder to persuade you?"63
Aland felt his usual self-confidence evaporating under the harshness of the stranger's eyes. They reminded him of a large carnivore he had once seen in a menagerie and looking into them, Aland found it impossible to think of this stranger as a boy but still he resisted. It galled him that he was powerless but began to see the sense in the stranger’s words. He had not thought so far ahead but could see that the out come could be exactly as he had described. The castle at Harpen would indeed be a difficult nut to crack.64
Aland sighed. "I don't like your manners, nor do I trust you but there seems little risk. What do you need?"65
The stranger clapped his hands in mock applause and a little of the harshness left his eyes. "Excellent! I knew you could think if you tried hard enough. I want you to send a messenger ahead to Fairwell, if possible, I would like these people to be there when we arrive." The stranger handed a list to Aland.66
Aland glanced over the list and frowned. The first names were what he had expected but the others were not. "Are you sure these are right?" Aland frowned.67
"Oh yes, but I'm not sure they will all want to come and there is one other I will speak to you about, when we arrive."68
"Very well - do you require anything else?" Aland tried to sound sarcastic but it fell on deaf ears.69
"A bath and a meal would be good - some areas of the Larg tend to be a bit dry and dusty." The stranger smiled at Tarsh.70
"Of course - Dean?"71
"Yes, sire."72
"Damn his hide! Do any of you have the faintest idea who he is!" Aland snapped, after the stranger had gone.73
"Not a local I think, Your Highness." Duke Liman smiled, only gaining him a scowl from the King.74
"Do you think he really came across the Larg?" Tarsh asked in awe.75
"If he did, how could he know the Starfire had been stolen?" Baron Farn asked. "It has been a well kept secret."76
"Who knows?" Aland was going to say that it seemed to have been reading his mind but thought better of it and finished. "I've never heard of a blade that could do that." Aland kicked the parts of the chair. "And it looked like a foil." Aland shook his head. "Liman, since you find it amusing, I charge you with finding out who he is and where this rascal has appeared from."77
The Duke grimaced but nodded.78
"Who has he asked for on the list, sire?"79
"Good question, Sarron. The Teen brothers - a fairly obvious choice, but the others I have never heard of - take a look."80
"Your highness, Yane De Saquee is the Master student we saw last month."81
2 – Yane82
The clash of swords rang out again. 83
"She's slowing down - you want to settle up now or wait for the final kill?" Artoss De Knarl, Team Leader of the Elite Guard asked with a broad grin.84
"It's not over yet, don't count your winnings." Tanyan Farell, Group Leader grimaced. But he had seen the last lunge miss by no more than a couple of fingers. 85
None of the swordsmen that sat around the arena doubted the skill of the woman - they knew that not one of them could beat her in a straight fight but she was on her fifth opponent, with only the shortest of breaks between.86
Tanyan winced as the next lunge missed by no more than a breath - the woman swaying at the last possible moment and suddenly the whole contest changed. The woman's opponent had, like the onlookers, underestimated her and the lunge had overextended his reach. Quick as a striking snake she struck back, her opponent managed by reflex to block but he was hopelessly off balance. He tried wildly to back pedal but the woman was on him and after a couple of desperate blocks she hit right in the centre of the heart shape target on his breastplate. Even as the gong sounded to end the contest the woman gasped and sunk down on her knees. The exhaustion had not been totally faked.87
As the old man stepped into the ring, the spontaneous applause and cheering that had broken out; died away. The old man bowed to the Four Corners and with a surprisingly strong voice called the audience to order and to stand.88
"Guards, salute!"89
The woman had regained her feet, although her breathing was still ragged, as the Elite Guard drew their swords and held them in the air - The Salute of The Guard.90
Sword-Master Fallon held up the badge, a silver star in a gold circle. “Yane De Saquee, having passed all the required tests and here passed the trial by peers; I have pleasure in awarding you the highest honour the Elite Guard can bestow. Sword-Master De Saquee - stand forward!" 91
Despite her tiredness, and her red hair slick with sweat, Yane glowed with pride as she bowed to the Four Corners and then the only other Sword-Master pinned her badge to her lapel.92
Tanyan elbowed Artoss sharply in the ribs. "You owe me ten Fills!" he grinned broadly.93
394
Aland waved to the small crowd and led the honour guard out of Saptor. It was only two days before they would have been leaving to return to the Capital but Aland felt disgruntled; since the stranger had appeared nothing had been quite right and now they were leaving early at the behest of the ill mannered and still nameless boy. In the day since the council meeting the Duke had tried to get any information on the fellow but all had been dead ends. No one seemed to have a clue who he was or where he had sprung from.95
The Duke was inclined to believe that he had indeed come from the Larg, for the guards at the south and north gates had not seen him enter the town. Nor had the two ships in the harbour brought him. His wagon was large and should have been noticed, yet it seemed it had somehow got to the gates of Saptor without anyone seeing it at all. 96
The Duke had tried to get a look in the wagon, but although the top cover looked like the normal canvas, it had resisted any attempt to make a small pinhole with his knife. Then before he could attempt to get a look inside any other way, the stranger had appeared behind him without warning. The Duke tried to convince himself it had just been a coincidence but had failed. 97
There had been yet another mystery with the wagon - it had arrived without any horses. The stranger had told them that he used sails like a ship to cross the desert but Aland was quite sure that a wagon with a sail would have had the whole town out to stare at it. The wagon seemed to have enough equipment to have had sails; it had points around the sides where ropes could be fixed and a pole down that could make a mast. In fact the outside had all sorts of equipment attached to it - most of which was as enigmatic as the stranger himself.98
The Duke rode up beside Aland, once they had passed out from the city gates.99
"He gave me a name, Your Highness, but it must be his joke."100
Aland gestured for the Duke to continue.101
"He said his name was Slyne."102
Aland swivelled in his saddle. "The snake man - the demon to frighten children? He claims to be named after him?" Aland snorted.103
The Duke looked chagrined. "I asked him that too, he thought for a moment and then said; 'Oh no, he was named after me.’" The Duke shrugged. "He didn't laugh and seemed quite serious." The Duke gestured his confusion.104
"It must be some joke of his - those stories have been around for generations - he must be playing some game of his own. I expect he'll come clean when we get to Fairwell. Keep half an eye on him, that wagon looks too heavy for those horses we gave him and since we had to leave early I don't want to waste time on the journey."105
"Yes Highness."106
If Aland expected to learn more about Slyne on the journey he was disappointed. Although he invited Slyne to dine with them several times along the road, he learned no more than that Slyne had very little respect for rank and seemed to know more than all his council and advisors put together.107
4- Darg108
"Why him of all people!" Templer Dallion's voice showed his frustration. "The King has never made such a request and now he picks him."109
"Maybe we could send another, Your Holiness, make some excuse, illness perhaps."110
"I sympathise with your motives Scally but the letter is unequivocal, it asks for Darg Methalik by name and states that is a secular matter concerning him." the Templer growled. "If it was any other we could prepare him but that great clod is so clumsy, not a day goes by when he doesn't walk into something. The things he's broken." The Templer shook his head and sighed. "And he's so stubborn, unless you explain the whole thing to him ten times he finds some contradiction and off you go again! You might as well bang your head against the wall."111
"If it's secular matter, we could send a disclaimer - point out that he is only a neophyte and he cannot comment on the Temple or Temple ways."112
"Yes, that's good, it covers most problems. Yes see to it right away, Scally. We can't delay his departure much longer - have him summoned - I'll stall him while you prepare the document."113
"Was there any reason given why he was the one chosen, Your Holiness?" Scally asked.114
The Templer shook his head. "None, and I can't think what possible use anyone could put him to. Now go and get that document done."115
"Your Holiness." Scally bowed his way out of the chamber.116
5 - Cleo117
Cleothele Chandry sighed and shook her head as the shop bell rang yet again. 'Red yarrow - with a zing', she muttered mockingly under her breath. Sure enough, it was what the customer at the counter asked Dando for. 118
Cleothele shook her head again. She had been using yarrow made the way her grandmother had taught her for years but when she started trying new mixtures, she had thought of adding a few drops of dit leaf extract to the yarrow. Yarrow worked well for many minor ailments but tasted so bitter, it was hard to get people to take it. The same was true of dit leaf but the taste was acid and often caused upset stomachs. Cleothele had been surprised and pleased when the mixture had turned red, instead of the pale mauve of straight yarrow. The taste of the mixture was slightly fruity and in her trials, had worked even better than straight yarrow - a success! 119
The problem had only arisen when she had got her apprentices to make it up. It turned red and appeared much the same but didn't have quite the taste or efficacy of hers. She had watched them through making the next batch and they had done exactly the same as her and yet it didn't have the 'zing' or potency that hers did. 120
That had really annoyed her. For most of her adult life she had spent trying to take the mystery out of medicines. That tacker bark should be prepared at the full moons, or that some things should be collected at a certain time of day. She had proved most of these things to be rubbish and the few that had appeared to be true, she could see a reason for, until the red yarrow. It was a major success and a failure at the same time! 121
It had been worse since red yarrow had caught on. She spent far more time just making up red yarrow than she would like and every time it galled her that she was unable to find out why her assistants couldn't make it just as well.122
Cleothele Chandry sighed and was about to get on when the shop bell rang again. As she glanced up, she saw it was a Royal Messenger and rose to see to him, herself.123
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Also it should read "they had done the same as (she not) her. The rest of the sentence if you completed it would be they had done the same as she had done. The pronoun needs to be in the nominative case. The above three are very petty errors all things that would be caught in a final edit before publication. I am a lousy editor, a lousy writer but an excellent reader.
I love the story, that is why I looked at your story in greater depth than I would have normally have done so. My comments have alot more errors than your story has. I mentioned four things I would change. I decided to mention three minor things and one big thing. I don't agree with the king's assessment that there is little risk in allowing a stranger to participate in stealing back the crown jewels. It is already clear that if the stranger decides to keep them after recovering them for the king there is nothing the king can do. Of course this might just be a case of dramatic irony. The readers can see what is coming while the king can not. I just interpreted the king as having more wisdom and at least be a little more worried that the stranger may have cross purposes. So with what little I know of the king I would drop that sentence, of course I know very little about the king so I might be completely mistaken. I miss the characters from the prologue I hope they weren't thrown away. Thanks for a delightfuly entertaining read. I am worried I will finish all the chapters you have written tonight and I won't be done with the story. I hope you don't feel that I was rude for mentioning a few trivial details. The story is impressive. Please keep sharing.
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great
I loved the story. I saw four obvious errors, the first "stung not only by a strange giving him unsolicited advice" I assume you mean stranger. The second "and states that is a secular matter concerning him." I assume that it is a secular matter. Third, the following paragraph is not as well written and I had some difficulties understanding. "The problem had only arisen when she had got her apprentices to make it up. It turned red and appeared much the same but didn't have quite the taste or efficacy of hers. She had watched them through making the next batch and they had done exactly the same as her and yet it didn't have the 'zing' or potency that hers did. That had really annoyed her. For most of her adult life she had spent trying to take the mystery out of medicines." I could say that the preposition for most of her adult life probably should follow she had spent, but perhaps it is just me thinks that you spend something trying to do something else. In fact that whole chapter didn't feel as polished. I wouldn't use watched them through making...
I would probably say she had watched them while they made...
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Well, I am still following the story (pat on the back for me) but was more delighted with the vocabulary than the plot. I'm making up a term here, 2nd tier words, ones that you see enough to know the meaning of, but rare enough to surprise, buffoon, interloper, yokel, cohorts, unmitigated, menagerie (a favorite of mine) and neophyte.
Jen -
Oh, good...I thought the prologue was all you had as yet. (I hate cliffhangers that last all summer!) The scene-shift was gracefully accomplished and the new characters intro'd well. Couple of suspected typos, nothing major. It's going well.
eric -
It isn’t on a poetry page – it’s on Storywrite… it just shows up here as well – but thanks for explaining the click.
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Sorry I wouldnt read someting that long on a Poetry Page (Allpoetry) I wish you luck with what ever you are trying to do. .
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Success!
Hi Silly Car
How are you? Lengthy, though wonderful conceptual write. Enjoyed it most for its originality and grace.
You have been a busy fella!!
Peace
Joanie x -
What a wonderful pacey story.
The characters are great and I'm certainly enjoying the female roles here. The storyline is packed with interest; mysterious strangers, unatural powers, strange lands, champion woman sword-fighters, herbalists.... magic!
The writing is captavating and flows easily.. I'm enjoying this very much... thank-you!
Kyla
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