The Order of Animals

My soul returned to its flesh in the blink of a blue flashing light and the "BIP" of the police cruiser that abruptly appeared like the punchline of a magician's trick beside me.1

I felt strong warm hands pulling me backward, subduing my pistoning arms, and then the icy clank of steel being snapped around my wrists. Familiar words from the Miranda Act I studied in eighth grade Civics class floated to me from behind. Like a ball of matted string, I was tugged sideways, and flopped over the hood to be publicly explored. 2

Strangely, in spite of the minor physical discomfort, relief washed over me and I viewed the bloody pulp of a man lying in the parking space where I had recently stood. I realized the authorities had arrived and I was safe now.3

At my arraignment, the judge asked me to speak on my own behalf since I had refused the middleman public defender and wouldn't "cooperate" by answering the officers' questions. I simply tattled and hoped someone had written and passed a law that would make my actions appropriate to robed eyes:4

"What do you have to say for yourself, Young Lady?" his voice boomed down at me.5

"Your Honor, I don't know if you know what it FEELS like to be preyed upon. It's the same feeling you get during a thunderstorm just before a tornado drops out of the sky, when the hairs of your arms and the back of your neck prickle like saw grass waving from a breeze and you are compelled to take cover from inside your residence. It's the same feeling a mother gets when her child is outside playing in the backyard and she suddenly drops the dishrag into the sink and runs out her front door to find that he's now stepping off the curb in front of a moving vehicle. Being prey is never a surprise. I'm not crazy and I don't believe in mystical powers or ESP. It's simply my belief that because we are animals, we have instincts that perceive threat and provide us with a twinkle of an instant to react, thereby driving us to safety.6

"When I came out of the shop I got that feeling while I was unlocking my car door. I never saw nor heard the man behind me, but I sensed his presence. In that twinkle of an instant I felt him grip my arm, I dropped my bag and looped my keys between my fingers, and thought to myself, 'swing on him first--he won't be expecting that--it's your only chance'. So that's what I did.7

"I don't know if I was right according to the law, but I have dismissed that feeling too many times in my life and suffered the consequences. I would rather endure the hardship of incarceration than to suffer again whatever fate he intended for me.8

"Thank you for the opportunity to speak."   9