Graveyard Truth

I never realized1

how deep in love with you I was,2

until that one night3

only a week after I cheated on you, my beloved.4

I have only cheated once,5

-at least to your knowledge-6

but truth be told,7

twice my soul has struck8

rock bottom.9

I really didn't want to10

but I couldn't say no11

I had been sex deprived for a week or two,12

my body said yes13

but my mind said different14

it was screaming at me15

to stop touching16

stop kissing17

stop leading him on18

but i couldn't.19

I feel guys don't like me20

so when one takes interest21

i take 200% more interest in him22

Though this one was my ex23

this one I knew I could say no to...24

But I didn't.25

He took me to my bed26

and our clothes hit the floor,27

luckily he was on top28

I would have felt worse29

If i was the one doing the actual moving30

but I was just a bystander31

laying underneath32

It didn't even feel good33

the guilt had already buried me.34

I had my eyes closed as tight as i could,35

my hands were on his back36

-I didn't even moan-37

but I kept trying to pretend it was you38

His hair felt the same39

he has the same build too40

so for those few moment41

he was you42

or you were him43

either way,44

when i opened my eyes45

and an Australian heart throb was leaning over me46

I could of died47

I should have died48

because he wasn't you,49

he could never be you.50

You don't know though,51

my secret to the grave.52

No one will ever know53

I slept with someone else.54

I almost killed myself that night55

My heart broke in two.56

i knew in my heart57

and in my soul58

that he will be the one who challenged my love59

yet i still love you60

Now more than ever before61

That knife also reminded me,62

no matter how much pain i suffer63

as long as you still love me64

i will make it through65

That scar is never going to leave my wrist, is it?66

Didn't think so....67

Kind of like that scar on my heart68

the one I patched while you were sleeping69

guess I am good at faking it70

I'll make a prefect actress71

Damn Hormones72