Babysitter

Sitting at the police station downtown, the detective in charge of the case handed me a notebook. 1

"Write down everything that happened, from the time you met the man till the time of the incident. Take your time, we know how hard this must be for you."2

I cried harder in the cold wooden chair, I knew what happened. I knew everything! I didn't want to tell. It was too horrific to describe. She had trusted me, yet I told anyway, it would have led to her demise anyway. 3

I picked up the pen with trembling fingers and started to write.4

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I knocked on the door of apartment 216 in Amazon Hieghts on the edge of town. I had taken this babysitting job to earn some extra money, my job at the department store just wasn't helping me to earn enough money to get by. I knocked again. I heard some rattling on the other side, like someone was unlocking the door. Then through a crack in the door and a chain across it, some one spoke.6

"Yes, may I help you?" He asked with a bit of roughness at being bothered. He was well shaven and had dark hair, that was parted on the side. His eyes were hazelnut and menacing.7

"I am here for the babysitting job." I said with a smile.8

"Oh," He grinned, his aurora which was completely psychotic before turned into a fatherly one. He closed the door and unlatched the chain. He opened the door. He was very gaunt and sunken. I didn't pay any attention to the evilness he gave off when he first opened the door, he was just being cautious I thought. This was a bad neighborhood after all.9

"Come in, come in!" He motioned his hand toward a chair. I sat down in it and looked around. I saw no pictures of his little girl anywhere, it was like he didn't care enough about her to place pictures of her around the room. He offered me a drink, I declined.10

"So, where is the little girl?" I asked him looking around the apartment.11

"AMY!" He shouted so loud that I was startled by the sound. His smile faded into a frown when his little girl came into the room. It was like he was ashamed of her. I thought she was the most pretty little girl that I ever laid eyes on. Her hair was long, black, and curly. Her eyes were a deep emerald green, and had pain, fear even. Her eyes gave off a sense of alarm when her dad was in the room.12

"Hey. I am going to be your babysitter, okay?" She shook her head vigourously. I smiled at her. She did not smile back. Her skin was pale and she was as skinny as her father. The signs were so clear but I did not know what was going on. I wasn't sure. I felt hatred coming from the father and a sore love from the daughter to her father. 13

"She doesn't talk much. Do you?" He glared at her and she winced under her fathers stare. She wore a long sleeve bright yellow shirt and baggy blue jean pants. I would find out why she always wore long sleeves around me, I just didn't know. I didn't even know what I had gotten myself into until now. She jerked her pretty little face toward her father. He seemed to have a deep hatred of her, and she had nothing but love for him. Why she loved him the way she did I would never know. It surpassed even me. She shook her head vigourously once again. She gave off the essance that she had been through every emotion in the book. She told me with her eyes that she had felt them all before the age of three. 14

"No, daddy." She looked at him and he looked back at her. There was an emotion unrecognizable coming from the two, it was so mixed. I could not even tell what was going on. The adultness and maturity that she showed when she answered her father amazed me, this little child was only five years old!15

"Hm. You will stay until I come home. You will not leave this apartment, and you will not stay any longer than needed. Is that clear?" I didn't understand the rules at first but I do now. It washed over my head. He grabbed his coat and headed for the door. He turned the knob and opened it. "Oh, and Amy, behave yourself now! I don't want Ms. Annie to give me any bad word about you. Is that understood?" She shook her head and winced under the stern words her father gave her. He walked out the door, he shut it more harshly than needed. I stared at the door. He left me completely alone with his daughter.16

An awkard silence became between us. It filled the room like a thick mist. I looked at her and she took a seat beside me on the couch. Trying to break the silence. I asked her:17

"What do you want to do?" She climbed in my lap unexpectantly. I looked in her eyes with astonishment. 18

"I want you to hold me." 19

So I wrapped my arms around her as she leaned up against my chest. I found this a rather odd request at first, but then as a minute passed of us in silence, I found it to be a rather beautiful request. We learned a lot of each other. Our souls connected, I had never had a feeling such as this since I had my own mother to hold me. I held her there in my arms. I gently stroked her curly hair and rubbed her back. I began to see why motherhood was so important to a woman. I began to love her like my own daughter that I never had. A resounding friendship was blossming into a beautiful thing. A silent vow came between us, it was as if I became her mother and her my daughter. I fell in love with this impish stranger sitting in my lap. I began to love her. I even got up the courage to sing her a lullaby, she went fast to sleep. A relationship grew between us as I just held her there sweetly and hummed a tune to the precious darling. She became my baby, and my everything.20

We remained within each others arms till her father came home. She heard the door opening from the outside and she shot straight up, it was as if her father was her drill seargant. He opened the door and her eyes shot straight up at him.21

"Was she bad?" It was the first  question he asked. It was like he wanted her to be bad, like he wanted to punish her. I dismissed it as parents curiousity.22

"Oh, Lord, no! She was a perfect angel!" He looked down at her with menacing eyes. The hatred was back filling the room almost choking me with it. Then as she stared back, the mixed feeling came along and disoriented me.23

"Very well then, Amy, you can go to your room." She shot to her room in no hurry. She didn't want to displease her father it seemed.24

"You can leave now, there is no use for you, you will be paid at the end of every week." He showed me to the door. He opened it for me. Yet again with severe hostility he slammed the door behind me. I didn't think nothing of it. I walked to the elevator thinking of the day when I first held her. She was so beautiful, an angel, MY angel. I recalled the times as I got on the elevator, drove home, ate dinner, and I even dreamt about her that night. 25

I loved her and I didn't know this would be the worst love I would ever endure. All she ever did was love this monster that destroyed her! She was a lovely creature that was punished for something that was not her fault. She loved him, that was her only crime! He hated her for loving him. It hurt me more than any relationship ever will. Not only did my lover get hurt but she was hurt by someone else that she loved and depended on for protection, and he turned her away. This is my most heartbreaking relationships I have ever encountered!26

I continued to babysit Amy for the next few weeks. Our relationship developed strongly physically and emotionally. There were times when I was scheduled to come over but something happeneded where she was sick or acting up. She was a sweet child to me. Every time that I came over after she was "sick" or "acting up" she would want me to hold her. I loved holding her, God did I ever! I got curious one day and I decided to ask her, this is how I found out what was going on with her this day would also be the day that destroyed both of our lives.27

"Honey, why do you want me to hold you as much as I do?" She sat up in my lap and looked me in the eyes. She spoke softly to me as if she were afraid that she was yelling or speaking too loudly.28

"My mommy used to do it for me all the time. Daddy won't hold me anymore since mommy went away. I just wanted someone to do it because all daddy does is punish me." She looked at me with invisible tears in her eyes.29

"Punish you how baby?" I became alarmed. I pieced all of the clues together, it fit perfectly, but I wanted to make sure I was right before I jumped to conclusions. She began to roll up the sleeves on her shirt.30

Under there it revealed a tale of cuts, sores, bruises, oh god there were so many bruises! They were all blue, purple, and so dark some where even black. Not a spot on her lower arm was pink, plush skin. It was bruised from the top of her wrist to her elbow. The cuts were slash marks that envoloped her whole arm. The cuts were so fresh that they had not even developed a scab yet. I saw the mosaic of scars and fresh wounds that I began to cry. I wept hard into her red shirt. She looked at me with astounding curiosity.31

"Why are you crying?" She asked me. I could not speak. My voice was stuck in my throat. I could not give my abused baby an answer! She did not deserve this treatment. She pulled up her sleeve even more to show a bruise that almost covered her whole entire fore arm. It was a ring of purple, fading into blue, and ultimately into a black color. It was in the shape of a fist. I cried harder into her shirt.32

My precious darling demanded that I tell her why I cried. I cried harder at the fact that I could not bring myself to tell her why I cried. I didn't want to tell her that her daddy was a mean man and that he deserved to be punished as well. I managed to choke out:33

"Why does he do this to you? Why does he punish you?" She looks at me in my eyes and says.34

"Daddy tells me that I am a mistake and I deserve it for killing mommy." I cried harder. The fact that the child thinks that she is a mistake and her father feeding her lies that she killed her mother is heart wrenching enough. I held her closer to me and rocked back and forth. I hated the fact that my daughter was being hurt by a monster. She was being burdened by the weight of lies.35

"Has he hurt you other places?" I asked her hoping to get a no. All I got was an endless list of results. Tears began to pour from her as she revealed a scar across her chest that was from a knife, she told me. On her back were belt marks where he had repeatedly beat her with the metal part, a punture near her spine shown that part of it had been driven into her skin from a forceful blow. She rolled up her other sleeve that revealed scars, she told me that he made her hold a razor and cut her own self. This man was a monster. I began to hate him. He made her hurt her own self. He was killing her from the inside out. I hated him, I have never hated one person so much.36

I didn't want to hear anymore. Just as she was rolling down her sleeves, the tears from her eyes and mine still rolling down our cheeks. The door started to unlock from the outside. My insides began to fill with rage at the man on the other side of the door. He opened the door and I became alight with anger and fustration. He saw the tears on my cheeks and the ones upon hers. He looked from me to her and back to me again.37

"Well, it looks as if you know our dirty little secret now. I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE!" He looked at Amy and yelled at her.The door was still wide open. He walked in and smacked Amy across the room, her head hit a corner of the wall and blood splattered all over the floor. My precious angel did not move after that. I stared at her. Then I felt a sting go across my face then a sensation I was flying. I looked up and noticed the cieling was moving before my eyes. My head hit something very hard and then it shattered cause I remeber hearing it. Then my world faded into darkness, I didn't hear or see another thing.38

I woke up in the ambulance, the sirens awoke me on the way to the hospital. I looked at one of the doctors.39

"Is Amy okay?" That was the first thing that I asked. They all stared down sympathetically at the floor of the moving vehicle.40

"The lady across the hall heard all of the commotion and called the cops. She peaked out her door to see him standing over you with a gun. He already got to Amy before you." They said and looked down even more.41

I started to cry. My baby was gone! I would never get to see her again. I began to miss her with all of my heart right there. I became her adopted mother. How could her father take her away from me like this? I wanted to kill him! My eyes stung with tears, I cried all the way to the hospital and even through the whole doctors check up. They said I had to stay in the hospital for two days, just to see if I developed signs of a concussion. That whole time I wept in bed and ate nothing. I just wanted my baby back. I wanted to hold the precious gift that was now in an eternal slumber. I was told that police were unable to find him.42

I pinned for my darling, I fell in love with her and that was my only crime!43

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I handed the notebook to the officer and he scanned the pages and looked at me.45

"Thanks, this will be very handy in the investigation." He said and before he walked out the door, I called to him.46

"Detective?" He turned around "Kill the evil bastard if it the last thing you do. If you don't, I will!" With that I walked out the door, night had fallen when I went outside. I walked all the way down the stairs, across the parking lot with nothing but Amy on my mind. 47