Kiri Karasu

So this is Kenosha, I wouldn’t have imagined it this way that is for sure. It’s a large city, nothing near as big as Chicago or Milwaukee, but a decent town. Kenosha located between the two major cities in this area. There she stands looking into the dark and dreary city. It is cold and windy almost as if it wants to rain off the lake. The clouds over take the sky no stars or moonlight to be seen. There are houses everywhere, very populated place for sure. Yet there is just a gloomy feeling, maybe it is just me, but something just seems odd. *Shivers slightly* 1

So this is the place I have been looking for, it’s gloomy and has just a cold feeling to it generally. From where I am standing this doesn’t look any different from any other town or city I have traveled through. Tons of house and yards line the city. In the backdrop you can see the lake vaguely in the night. Listening closely you can hear the water rushing against rocks as the waves run up against the coast. It is truly quite, only sound rushing past my ears, is the wind and a few cars that are passing bye. Yet this far out of town there isn’t really much. 2

Yet this is Kenosha, where I have been trying to find. I am kind of surprised. I figured that it would be, I don’t know but something more than this. This isn’t a big city and it isn’t just a little town. It is something in between the two. I have never been here before yet I know why I have come and I am going to find him. My mind pulls me here and I know that I will find what I am looking for. Yet where, I am not completely sure.3

As I continue to look around the outskirts of town, many of these places seem to be abandoned, or forgotten. Maybe some of these where homes of people who have died. Or family that had just moved on to better places. Who knows yet honestly it is not of my business to worry about. I close my eyes for a moment and gasp for air almost as if I was shocked; a look of slight panic comes across my face. I try to brush it off, every now and then a vision will catch me by surprise as I truly am not always sure what I am seeing, just know that at some point what I see tends to happen, in some way. Sometimes I can make sense of what I see, others they are clear as day. Yet tonight they will not stop me, I am here for a reason and there isn’t anyone or anything that is going to stop me.4

Looking down at the ground you can tell winter has fallen upon this place. There is snow covering the ground and flakes slowly falling from the sky. I hate traveling when there is snow on the ground. It makes foot prints and me so much easier to follow. Yet this couldn’t wait any longer. I had to get here. I know that while I left behind what I had and my safety there, I had to come. Yet I will never understand why in the snow. I guess I will just have to make the best of it and try to blend in amongst the streets here. It’s the middle of the night how many mortals will I truly see here anyways. And it’s not a major city. I guess that I will surely find out sooner or later.5

I look once again at the road I am standing on heading into the city, take a deep breath of the icy air and take a few steps forward as I head into Kenosha, here is where I will find my answers, here in this dark and gloomy town. I know that I cannot be lost forever, I will find him in my mind, I just need to keep moving. As she continues to walk slowly into the city down a bare and subtle street on the outskirt of the town, she begins to lose herself into her thoughts as it is a quite eve.6

As a child I would have to say life was pretty carefree. I was always able to do almost anything that I pleased. I enjoyed being able to run in the forest outside of the house, I remember there was a little river that use to run through it. My friends and I would always go out there and swim and just spend so much of our time together. It was peaceful; no one ever bothered us out there, minus my brother of course. Yet I enjoyed spending time with my friends, we use to always find time to talk about school, chores, family and of course boys, but what teen doesn’t have time for that.7

School was pretty boring sometimes. Yet we all had to go 5 days out of the week. We did the normal classes that everyone does anymore. We did math and some science, English and historical studies. Most of it was pretty easy, just took away from the free time that we never seem to have enough of as a child. I was always daydreaming in school. It was boring in a sense to me. I could always find a place in my mind that I would have rather have been. I learned later on that being able to put myself into my mind would be a skill I would never take for granted again in my life.8

My friends were everything to me back then. They were truly the best things to ever happen to me. We were always there to help each other, no matter what it was. When we needed a shoulder to cry on we knew exactly where to find one, and it was never very far away honestly. Yet there are some things in a child and even a teens life that it becomes impossible to burden your friends with. And sadly that was happening right under their nose inside of my home.9

My father, he was a sick man, no matter what my brother and I did, he would always find a reason to beat and abuse us both. That house was a trap and he was just waiting for us to walk back inside of it day in and day out. The mental and physical abuse was unheard of. There was never a reason for it, we just knew when we got home that it would start if he was there. We never wanted to go home, but for us that was really all we had. None of our other family lived close enough for us to go to them. And I don’t even want to imagine what he would have done to us had we told anyone what was happening at home. It was bad enough that he would make us watch each other get beaten. Yet there where never any words we could say to each other to make it better. Just knowing that it was going to happen and all we could do back then was stand and take it.10

Our mother was either blind to it, or she was threatened I swear. She never did anything to stop it. She was oblivious to everything that he had ever done to us. She would turn a blind eye or make up excuses for his behavior. Yet honestly, what kind of excuse can you make for that. She never did anything she just stood by him and watched so much of it happen. Or she would hide off in her room pretending that everything was normal. I don’t know what was going on with my mother, but there are times I just don’t know if she couldn’t stand up to my father or if she felt that if she ever said something that he would have done the same to her. Either way thanks a lot mother. 11

My brother Mikaru was older that I was. He was kind of my protector in a sense. He was always around watching out for me when we were younger. Always being sure I was safe and taken care of. I remember when we were little he would always check under my bed and make sure nothing was there at night. What can I say, a lot of people were scared of things under their bed when they where little. Yet we were always close to one another. Even after our father lost his mind and the abuse began. Mikaru was always trying to protect me from our father rage and anger. Doing everything he could to ease the pain that we both had to endure. 12

I guess that one night it had finally became enough for him. I walked home from school that day and usually I would see him outside doing work around the house or he would be waiting for me to warn me of our father’s mood. That day he wasn’t there at all. I slowly went into the house and walked into a wall of rage. My father had began to go off and screaming and yelling at me, asking me where he had gone. I had no clue. He had never told me he was planning on leaving, but I guess enough was enough for him and he left. He just left me alone with our father to suffer the punishment for him running away.13

I hated him for it. I was broken not only by my father’s beatings but my heart was shattered that my protector had left me alone to suffer. Why would he do this, was all I kept asking myself. I felt so betrayed, by my own brother. It ripped me apart inside to feel this way towards him. Yet the beatings from my father continued and only got worse because of this. I was at a loose and because of him. I was on my own and didn’t know what to do.14

Mikaru actually did return, but it wasn’t for very long at that point before we would become separated. I remember he came home; it was early on in the morning just after dawn. I was so happy to see him again, but scared at the same time. What was our father going to do to him? I am sure this was going to enrage him to a point neither of us where ready for. I asked Mikaru where he had ran to, yet he never answered me. Of course I had to leave for school; I couldn’t let this change my day to day life. It’s all that I had while he was gone to keep going every day. Yet nothing was going to prepare me for what I was going to see when I returned that night. I had gone with my friends after school. I was afraid of what my father would have been doing to my brother, so of course I was afraid to go home.15

I walked up the road towards our house and all I could see was smoke, I was hit my panic, what happen to Mikaru? I could care less about what was happening if anything to my father, but I had just gotten my brother back, or so I thought. I got up the road to the edge of the woods next to our house, or more what was our home and feel to my knees. I began to cry, it was going up in flames. What or where was I going to go now? I couldn’t see anything inside of the house; nothing moved there were no sounds but the burning and cracking of the wood. Everything was gone by now. If there was anyone inside, I couldn’t save them now. I hoped that Mikaru wasn’t inside of there when this began. Where is he anyways? Did he run off on me again?16

Night had over taken the sky and I had not even noticed how late it had really become. I was in shock of everything that I was seeing go up in smoke in front of me. I was so distracted in my own thoughts, that I never heard someone walk besides me from the woods. And before I realized they where there, a pain I had never felt before filled my body. It was as if my soul and everything inside of me was being ripped apart and pulled slowly from my body. I remember looking up to see a women kneeling there next to me as I grab onto her tightly, terrified of what was happening to me. I felt my body begin to go weak, losing the strength to even keep my eyes open any longer, then everything just kind of goes black.17

I open my eyes looking over Kenosha once again. Stopped in her tracks, not that she has made it far. The memories of her past over take her. I know he is here, as she closes her eyes in thought. I can feel him here, yet this town doesn’t look to be that small. I wish I knew exactly what I was going to be looking for or what to expect. I hate someone else having this element of surprise. I almost feel like a game of cat and mouse. Yet Maximillion is here. I can feel him calling to me. 18

I need him. I have never felt the need like this pulling me to someone. I know that he is going to be able to help me and help me to take my revenge that I have waited so long for. Yet I don’t understand why. What makes him so special? Why has he been the Malkavian pulling at my mind? I know that we are not the most popular upon this world, yet there are still more of us that just him. Yet all I know is everything has pulled me to him. And he knew Irihel, and honestly for me that is enough. 19

The wind picks up slightly as she thinks of her, and a sadden look crosses her face. Then she looks back up into the city. Yet again looking it over, wishing she knew what she was looking for. All she could do was make her feet follow her mind. She takes a deep breath and looks to be lost into a blank stare into the sky. All she is looking for is the one voice inside her mind. His voice calling to her, bring her one step at a time closer to him. She has to find him, this search has to end and it is going to end tonight. *shivers as the wind blows* She pulls her jacket up around her keeping her clothing dry from the falling snow. As she looks into Kenosha and begins to slowly walk.20

All I can do from here is head into town. Being out here is going to do me no good, not like he is going to just come to me. Why would he do that? I just truly hope he is able to help me find my brother and help me to one day seek my revenge. Bittersweet it shall be. Yet here I go. Slowly she begins to walk towards the town. Through the more desolate parts of the town, all that is there are many old run down houses a few stores here and there nothing big nothing to show much of this city.21

All she knows that inside of here is Maximillion and with determination she is going to find him. If it’s the last thing she does. There is a reason for her to be here. And soon enough she will get to see fully why. Yet what is waiting her inside of Kenosha she will find soon enough. 22

The pain subsided, I remember opening my eyes to a blur at first, but then once they focused I saw a mirror shattered on the floor at my feet. I slowly sit up and begin to look around realizing that I am in a building almost completely darkened out. Only thing I can see are a few lights around the room. It’s huge. I cannot really tell what it is at first. I don’t think that I have ever been here before in my life. Then I start to realize things are not the same. I’m cold and not like a feeling that I have had inside towards my father, but actually almost ice cold to the touch. As I stir the women that I saw near my house is there and she approaches me. 23

As she comes over to me I am startled at first. What really happen in there at what was once my home? She walked over to me and kneeled down next to me as I slowly sat up completely. She placed her hand on my arm and introduced herself to me. Her name was Irihel Knight, and then she began to tell me things I have never became to hear of before, yet I didn’t realize at that point this was going to be the start to my unlife, the rest of my eternity. She was a Malkavia. I must have looked at her like she was speaking almost a different language. Or I was just completely confused, my head was spinning with what felt like 100 people trying to talk to me at once and I couldn’t shut any of them up. 24

She began to tell me she had embraced me. She what embraced me, I feel like she has driven me completely mad. Yet she continued to calmly and comfortingly talk to me and explain many of the things that I would come to realize, where my new life that I was going to live. She began to teach me the basics showing me the difference between the world I was use to, and the world in which I, Kiri Karasu was now a part of. 25

After the she was done spilling out the basics, she sat next to me and said we had to talk about my father. And all I could think was what about that sick bastard. Then I started looking around maybe he was there and I just didn’t know it. She reassured me that he was nowhere near here and that I was safe and not to worry. Yet I needed to be cautious of my father if I do see him again. Unlike us, while he may be a Malkavian, he is a Sabbot. Pure evil in a single body, completely willing to kill and lash out on anyone given the slightest reason. As this all begins to soak in and starts to make more and more sense I start to realize what has truly happen. I finally ask the only question that was burning in my mind. Where was my brother, why did she pick me? She just looked away, like she wasn’t allowed to tell me or wasn’t completely sure what she should tell me. Yet she assured me that one day I would find out what happen and it would all come together, that right now I just needed to be patient. 26

Every now and again as she was teaching me everything that I had to learn she would mention a long time friend of hers. His name was Maximillion Craine. I never got to meet him, never really asked why she never went to visit him. She would always say that there where things to learn and that one day when the time was right I would meet her friend and that I would know when that time was. I didn’t really understand her back then yet at the time I never thought I was going to lose her either.27

Then one night as we were just getting home, there were people, vampires all around were we normally rested. And that’s when she found she was going to be beheaded. I didn’t know what to think say or do at that point. The only person that I have ever had and in a sense loved in this world, was about to be taken from me. She embraced me without the permission and that was clearly against the law. Usually both are beheaded. Yet the Prince took a mercy upon me and left me to live. I couldn’t watch it happen I sat there with my eyes closed so scared to see her die. The last words that she reached out from her mind to me was “Max, Mad Max”. Now if only I knew would she was talking about. I have no idea who is he or anything really about him, except that he was her friend and that when the time was right I would be able to find him.28

Her being killed devastated me inside. She was all that I had really known and learned to trust in my unlife. I didn’t know what to do. I was wrapped into the thought that this was my fault. Yet I didn’t ask for this did I. I never walked up to her and begged her to embrace me and make me what I am now. She choose me. For some reason she did this to me, to make me stronger and give me the abilities that I would need to me able to stand against my father one day. 29

I was lucky after her death, while the Prince took mercy upon me and did not kill me along with her. I also was taken in by a Tremere named Hexsis Savant. He was kind to me and it made me feel safe I wasn’t worried about being alone anymore. There was always someone else there with me. It made it easier for me to deal with losing her, and make myself push to carry on and continue to push myself forward. 30

Slowly she begins to walk through the outskirts of Kenosha, taking in everything around her. As she walks through the edge of town, much of it looks to be modern, nothing very old as she can see, just looks to be darkened and in shambles in some places. The town feels cold and quite on the outskirts this late into the evening. As I continue to walk the roads through the shadows, she comes across some train tracks on the south end of the town. She decided to follow them through the town not quite sure where she is heading at this point. Just knows that once she is there she will know it. 31

Along the tracks she passes many more houses, some of them more like mansions in their design, yet allowed to be run down through the time. A few parks are along the way where the wind blows the swings back and forth in the air. The chains startle her at first unsure if she was being followed, or if he mind was just playing tricks on her again. Either way she must continue on, just moving as quietly as she can to go unnoticed. As she start further into the city she notices a few churches and starts to notice a few older buildings now. Even some of the streets have their stone road ways. The building are taller, many seem to be abandoned business and what was once small apartments upstairs from them. And even a few have more than just 1 or 2 stories to them. Looking down the side roads I can see the lake, the sky is black and faded into gray over the water. Still more than over cast here tonight. 32

As I get into the city I begin to see people really do live here. Could have fooled me to this point until I got farther into town I almost mistook it for a ghost town almost. There are a few couples walking in and out of bars and a few restaurants here and there not thing too much to worry. Of course they all kind of look then ask each other who not to stare and the weirdo walking down the road. All I can do is laugh in my head, if they only knew what they were talking about. Better they just believe I am a creep over truly know what I am. 33

I can feel Max’s call become stronger in my mind. His mental call is no longer blending with the other voices. I do not find myself having to stop to focus on the one voice to feel where it is coming from. Yet I let myself be caught off guard as this scum bag, pulls me right off my feet and into an alley way. He begins to ravage at my clothes as he has me pushed against the ground. 34

Hexsis Savant became more than just someone that took me in after Irihel was killed. There began to be a more lustful relationship between us. When it was just us, I became his sex toy I was his slave. I loved every moment of it. This lust gave pleasure to both of us. Whenever we had the desire for one another we were always there. 35

I would remember when he would go off to be alone to work on his rituals. I know he never wanted to me watch yet I was always so curious into know what it was about. It intrigued my sense of curiosity and I always wanted to know more. I wanted to know what the Occult where, what all of this blood magic that he had the ability to use really where. I remember when he would catch me watching his rituals. I always knew when he noticed I was watching from a distance, that I was going to be punished. Not that I ever minded my punishment that is. 36

He would always punish me as his sex slave that night for watching his rituals. He always made sure that I knew I wasn’t allowed to watch. Yet he still knew how much more of it I truly wanted to know. I would always ask him to teach me and for the longest time he never wanted to. I always tried to understand and respect it, yet it was hard when he would go do his rituals. I wanted to know what he did them for that he was using them to do everything that I could.37

Finally one night after he caught me watching him again, he promised me that he would teach them to me. Under the one condition that I would remain his willing sex slave forever. I agreed and Hexsis drew up a blood contract in which we both signed. He would teach me about the Occult and his rituals, as long as I remained his slave forever. For a while this all went well then my mind began to touchier me.38

The want for my father’s blood and vengeance began to tear at me. I voiced this time and time again to Hexsis as it truly started to show. I was succumbing to suffering staying instead of finding the evil man my father had become. Then one night I was shocked when Hexsis sat down with me and gave me his blessing to leave and hunt down my father. I was glad that he was allowing me to leave. I was truly happy there with him. Yet I had revenge to be had, and he understood that. 39

I place my hand on the man that pulled me into the alley. My skin is frozen to the touch and he shutters at first then he jumps up horrified looking as if he has completely gone insane. The man takes off running from the alley with his pants around his ankles, screaming in horror. I sit there for a moment before I stand back up and straighten myself back up. Fixing my clothes neatly back onto my body. Shaking my head and grinning at the poor soul. He picked the wrong person tonight.40

As I grin I can hear Max laughing manically inside my mind. Like he was watching what happen and got such a thrill out of watching that man run away. I can feel his mental calling so strongly that I start running as fast as I can towards it. Running through more and more of what seems to be the downtown area of Kenosha. The buildings are close together with the alley ways between them, a few parking lots here and there. 41

There it was, as I stop running at a dead stop in front of the Elysium’s doors. This is where his calling has been coming from all this time. Have I really finally found him. All this searching comes down to this moment. All the searching, Irihel embracing me, her death; does he even know. Hexsis giving me his blessing to leave, everything in my unlife so far comes to this moment. I can still feel him pulling at my mind. I can feel this “Mad Max” pulling me closer to the door. Beckoning me to open it and to see what I have been searching for. This is what it all comes down to. Slowly placing my hand against to door and slowly opening it. As she walks inside…42