When Gary shopped along Nantwich Road, he strutted. Lots of small privately owned shops with individually selected stock, a small selection in each place. There were also a couple of lingerie stores and a shoe shop with wide fittings; it was the last place he visited when shopping for a new dress for Saffron before he hurried home. He began at the boutique nearest to the railway station and worked his way down one side of the road and back up the other. His heart sank slightly at the first window; a dazzle of glittery gold shoes and shiny handbags. Crass. He preferred classical styles for his Saffron.1
Gary strode down the road to the next shop. It was set slightly back, up three wide steps; the cream bow windows were awash with reds, the colours were too harsh for Saffron, though the styles were an improvement.2
An electronic chime sounded at the back of the empty shop as he entered, a woman in her thirties shut a magazine and smiled. Gary didn’t recognise her from his last shopping trip, it had been Saffron’s Christmas present; a long black single breasted cashmere coat, with a faux fur removable collar; it was too warm to wear now. 3
As with all new assistants, they gave him a second and then a third glance before they approached him, slowly taking in his work clothes; the maroon sweatshirt, blue polyester trill trousers and the large black safety boots that set him of as one of the workers from the Crewe’s largest engineering works.4
Gary loved this moment, he knew exactly what she would say; it was if they had they voice box inserted on an assembly line. Pull the string and they say the same three things. Never had he been surprised or delighted.5
“Can I help you?” 6
Question number one. Gary smiled at her; her perfectly made-up face was of friendly and polite inquiry and her body was rigid with discomfort. Her colouring was the same as Saffron’s and he liked her lipstick. 7
“No thank you. I’m just looking at the moment.”8
The assistant remained close, as if on guard, she gazed unseeing at the opposite wall.9
Carefully he pushed each dress aside along the rail, waiting for the inevitable questions. He came to a dress he thought was nice and pulled it out and checked it against his memory of Saffron; his imperfect and perfectly wonderful Saffron. It was a dark blue dress, not quite navy. He murmured nasally and shook his head; too short it must cover her knees. Gary ran his rough hands over the fine wool knit, almost cool to the touch. Then he sighed and replaced it carefully back on the rail and carried on.10
“Do you know the lady’s size?”11
Question number two. “Saffron,” he paused, he loved saying her name out loud, “is a sixteen.”12
“Is it for something special?”13
Question number three. He smiled again, “An anniversary.”14
The assistant’s brow furrowed. She smiled shyly and nodded in sudden understanding, “Do you like to have full length sleeves?”15
Gary beamed at her, surprised and delighted. “They must cover my elbows.” He laughed and shook his head, “How I hate my elbows.”16
Author notes
Hi, this is a first draft, any polite honest feedback is welcome.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I FULLY understand why you stopped writing...I read "Of Equal Importance" (did I forget to comment on it?)but perhaps the time has come now to pick up with your writing where you left off, my friend? I hope you at least think about it,I'd love the pleasure of reading a published work by you...you're such a fantastic writer and I truly enjoy reading what you write. LOL you just don't write enough!!!
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Generous comment, Thank you.
I had an agent once, she'd read some of my stuff and wanted me to expand one into a childrens book, I wrote over 30k words, had a full plot then I stopped writing. My poem 'Of Equal Importance' shows why. I'm still writing, though it needs a serious re-work. -
Oh,I forgot to say...when are you going to post more stuff? I've read all your stuff now and I'm waiting for more!
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LMAO that was wicked!!! A totally unexpected twist in the tale, just the kind of interesting stuff I like to read. But I've got to ask...with the talent you have for writing, how come you've never thought to get your work published?
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Thanks Kethry. Much appreciated.
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I guessed that Gary was a transvestive from the beginning when he showed such an eye for detail in describing the shops. Wonderful story. Well written.
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Thanks, it needs more work. It's a bit hard to follow, as no-one seems to pick up it's Gary's dress.
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Brilliant
This is bloody brilliant..............
You are a clever girl
I am going to promote it for you.. when it appears on featured list do not click on it yourself or it will wast points.. it costs so many points per click -
Ohhh now THAT woudl explain it. Now then. I love it lol. Very interesting
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Hi thanks for the encouragement. Ahemmm, Gary is a transvestite!
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great
I kind of got a little bit confused at the end of the story. Other then that i thought it was great and can't wait to read more. Well done. Keep writin!
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