Forever White

Jason laid awake in his bed, like he did every night.  He stared up at the white ceiling and wondered why he was here.  He wondered more of why he was there.  He knew why he was there.  He had climbed to the top of City Hall.  He held a gun to his head.  He shot himself.  Obviously he lived.  He was there because he failed.  1

While climbing to the top of the building he thought to himself.  As the stairs past under his feet, he thought about her face.  As he thought about her face he thought, about how she had hurt him.  She had torn him apart.  She had stabbed him with a knife with jagged, broken edges, and twisted and turned it until he could take no more.  Then she pulled it out and filled the hole in his heart with rubbing alcohol and salt.  2

His heart thumped like a drum.  Slow at first, then increasing speed as he reached the top.  His whole body was numb with anticipation.  When he reached the top he opened the window in the janitorial closet.  3

He stood at the open window for a moment.  The snowflakes that floated through the air drifted to the ground to create a blank white layer of snow.  He took a deep breath and climbed out of the window to the fire escape and climbed up the ladder to the rood.  By this point people had stopped to watch what he was doing.  4

He stood on the roof  for a few moments thinking of what she had done to him.  Jason slipped his hand into his front left pocket and drew a handgun from it.  The people on the ground let out a shriek of fear.  He held the gun down at his side for a long moment then slowly moved his arm to point the gun at his temple.  5

His breath, which had already been ragged, became extremely erratic.  He closed his eyes.  The muscles in his wrist tightened as he pulled the trigger.  The world went dark.  6

Jason woke up with a splitting headache and he could not move.  He screamed with pain and anger.  He knew he had failed.  Now instead of getting the chance to fix things and make more mistakes, he was never going to see another color again.  7

He was stuck in these four white walls with this white jacket forever. 8