The mist that surrounds my body has me in its grasp. It’s long thin tendrils swirling around my feet, backing away like a snake unable to decide whether to attack or not. My feet rhythmically pound against the ground as dank, clammy droplets of water cling to my skin. 1
Dark trees reach out to me with their foliage, water dripping from their glossy, wet leaves. The almost black tree trunks seem to be listening and waiting but for what, I don’t know. 2
My problems, my worries transfer from my body into the green grass underfoot with every step I take. The raw feelings inside of me evaporate and become dull aches in my heart and soul. The smell of dirt, grass and water flow into my mind bringing to mind feelings of loss, remembrance and peace; the smells that remind me of my mother. 3
Her funeral smelt like recently uncovered earth, the hole in the ground like a freshly cut wound, torn apart and left to bleed. The crisp, green grass around her grave where I lay for hours on end, wishing she were here with me. The grass in cemeteries appears out of place compared to the usual dull greens and browns that make up our country, which seems to forever be in drought.4
Mum was a very diplomatic person, she was passionate about politics and saving the environment. Just thinking about her has caused the tears to stream down my face; her death is still not comprehendible to me. Why did she have to go? If only the last words to her weren’t words of hate. If only I could have said goodbye one last time.5
The old mysterious tree that comforts me every time I'm sad comes into view and my pace slows. Mum used to bring me here when I was young and read stories to me about pirates, fairies and dragons. Always to this tree, this same magnificent, glorious tree. 6
As I sit down beside the tree it instantly relieves some of my pain. It’s almost as if my mother is sitting beside me wiping away my tears with her soft gentle hands that smell of peppermint. 7
The magnificent tree that I am sitting under seems to be slightly swaying but looking up there is no movement at all. This tree has been the greatest comfort of all since mum passed away. Coming here every morning just after the sun has risen in all its glory helps me get through the day.8
Even though my mother has left this world I know that she loves me and is looking out for me, reaching out with her loving heart and guiding me along the difficult pathway of life. I miss her so much, there will always be a special place in my heart for her.9
My enemy, my best friend, but first and foremost my mother.10
I love you Mum11
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
-
Amazing
This is brilliant. Extreemly well written.
"The mist that surrounds my body has me in its grasp. It’s long thin tendrils swirling around my feet, backing away like a snake unable to decide whether to attack or not. My feet rhythmically pound against the ground as dank, clammy droplets of water cling to my skin. 1
Dark trees reach out to me with their foliage, water dripping from their glossy, wet leaves. The almost black tree trunks seem to be listening and waiting but for what, I don’t know."
This is the most descriptive two paragraphs I have ever read. My relationship with my mother is one for the psychology books but I was able to feel what you were writing. This is the most important part of writing is getting the reader to feel as you are feeling.
-
Wow. This is a really well written story, your word-choice was amazing. There was tons of imagery, and it was all amazingly put together. Lovely job!
Take care and keep smiling!
PS. Thank you for the comment.
-
The mist that surrounds my body has me in its grasp. It’s long thin tendrils swirling around my feet, backing away like a snake unable to decide whether to attack or not. My feet rhythmically pound against the ground as dank, clammy droplets of water cling to my skin.
Dark trees reach out to me with their foliage, water dripping from their glossy, wet leaves. The almost black tree trunks seem to be listening and waiting but for what, I don’t know.
My problems, my worries transfer from my body into the green grass underfoot with every step I take. The raw feelings inside of me evaporate and become dull aches in my heart and soul. The smell of dirt, grass and water flow into my mind bringing to mind feelings of loss, remembrance and peace; the smells that remind me of my mother.
Her funeral smelt like recently uncovered earth, the hole in the ground like a freshly cut wound, torn apart and left to bleed. The crisp, green grass around her grave where I lay for hours on end, wishing she were here with me. The grass in cemeteries appears out of place compared to the usual dull greens and browns that make up our country, which seems to forever be in drought.
A very good story -
this is a really great story i loved it you are a great writer keep it up!!! thanx for sharing this with all of us here at allpoetry i really enjoyed reading this
love ya
~*becca*~
you are a great writer
keep up the great and awesumly awesum work!!!
Adding your comment:
