Villager 1: “Greeting Hacalacacus!” 2
Villager 2: “Greetings Bob!” 3
1: “How goes your harvest?” 4
2: “Quite well this season.” 5
1: “Ah, yes. The Three-Field System works wonders.” 6
2: “Indeed.” 7
Men: Weeee
8Work our fields everyday 9
And scold our sons in a fatherly way. 10
Women: “We cook and clean and of course we pray 11
That our sons will be great men one day!” 12
Men: “We clean the stables 13
And make sure there’s dry hay” 14
Women: “We make our men happy in every way!” 15
((pause)) 16
Men: “We work” 17
Women: “We care” 18
Sons: “We try to find a maiden fair” 19
Men: “We make weapons and train their sons” 20
Sons: “We can’t leave till the works all done!” 21
((Pause)) 22
All: “Well it’s mighty great 23
To live in this city-state. 24
We love this little land we’ve found 25
Boy: “Except when Selemus is around!” 26
Man: “OH NO! Here he comes!” 27
Selemus: “What in Zeus’ name are you peasants doing?! Work! WORK!” 28
Selemus: “I break their backs and take their money
29Steal their weapons because it’s funny 30
I smack ‘em around and make them beg 31
That I won’t hit ‘em ever again. 32
((“But of course...I do)) 33
They’ll never try to resist 34
Because they know that I’d be mighty pissed 35
And all my guards would kill their families! 36
((Oh, what a bloody tragedy! But not for me!)) 37
ALL: NOT FOR HIM!
38Selemus: If they ever fall out of line 39
A few days without food will make ‘em fine. 40
And if they don’t learn in time 41
A hearty feast the wolves will find! 42
So you better keep working 43
Don’t even try to whisper 44
Get back to your fields immediately 45
DO you see this whip? 46
Well you’ll soon feel her kiss ya! 47
Man: “I think he’s serious.” 48
2: “Of course he’s serious!” 49
3: “You think he’s serious?” 50
Selemus: OF COURSE I AM!
51Because I can do what I want 52
When I want 53
If I want a new horse, 54
Then I’ll take the whole lot! 55
If I want a new slave 56
I’ll simply take ‘em! 57
If I want an apple pie, 58
I’ll make their wives bake ‘em! 59
If I can do what I want 60
When I want 61
OF COURSE I’M GONNA DO IT! 62
Selemus: “What’re you staring at, scum? Get back to work!!” 63
That night…: 64
Woman: Please. Please Gods, we pray to you. Make this evil man go away! Bless our town with happiness once again! Restore the tranquility!65
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