Our First Christmas

Our First Christmas1

A piercing scream rang through the room as my first-born baby girl screamed her little lungs out. Finishing up feeding up her twin sister, I righted my shirt and put her down. Walking into the nursery where my little angel was screaming; it was unusually quiet now. Looking up, I saw the love of my life holding her and cooing at her. His strangely dark green eyes filled with joy as he calmed down his daughter. Looking up, he noticed me in the doorway, and walked over to me and handed our daughter to me. “She wants Mommy.” His angelic voice rang in my ears. Taking my daughter, he followed me into our living room and picked up his other daughter out of her bassinet. “Hey there Gracie Girl.” He talked to his daughter. Undoing my bra again and pulling up my shirt, I let my other little girl feed.2

“Oh, Jessie, come on baby. Eat.” Worried, I looked to my husband. Jessie was known to eat like her father. The greedy little thing. “James, Jessie isn’t eating.” James looked up from playing with a sleepy Gracie. He, too, knew she ate like him. Worry graced his face for a moment, but then it went to how it was before.3

“It’ll be okay, Kenzi. She’s probably not hungry at the moment.” But he must have known something was wrong. His dark green eyes had simmered down to a light green, showing his worry. Trying to think it was nothing, I tried to lighten up a bit and fix my shirt for a second time. Getting up, I walked over to the phone with Jessie in my arms and called my mom.4

“Hello?”5

It was my father’s voice. “Hi Daddy,” I said, “Can I talk with Mom please?” He answered with a yes and I waited to hear my mom’s voice. “Hi, Mommy? Jessie isn’t eating.” I listened to what my mom had to say. “No Mom. No, I haven’t fed her since this morning and it’s time for her feeding.” I listened to what she had to say. “Okay Mom. Okay. I will. Thanks. Bye Mom. Love you too.”6

“What did she say?” James was standing behind me, holding a now sleeping Gracie in his right arm. My eyes were sorrow. The roads were too bad for my mother to come down.7

“She said that everything will be fine and just to put a humidifier in the girl’s room and to let Gracie sleep in our room tonight. Jessie might have a small cold and because the roads are too icy, she might not be able to make it up here.” I looked down at my little angel in my arms and listened to her small cough. I rocked Jessie in my arms and tried to help her in any way I could.8

James became very worried when he listened to me. He settled Gracie back into her bassinet and came over to see Jessie. “Oh, Baby Girl.” Jessie started crying again and became fussy. Slightly rocking her back and forth, James walked over to our room and where my rocking chair was. He sat in it and gently rocked back and forth, humming an unnamable tune. Even after being born just eight weeks prior, Jessie had already found a special spot in her daddy’s heart. I went to go get my other baby and put her in her crib for only a short while till her sister was put in there. I turned on the baby monitor I got from my mom from my baby shower and left my little girl to sleep as I took the other one.9

~Six Hours Later~10

“KENZI! Her temperature! Jessie’s temperature is down!” James called to me. He had our little girl bouncing happily in his arms as he woke me up. Awoken by the sudden shouting, Gracie woke up and I was alerted. “Oops.” He chuckled. “Sorry Grace.” James lowered his voice and went to pick Gracie up out of her bassinet and handed Jessie to me.11

Laughing, I took my proffered baby and held her happily in her arms. Kissing the top of my baby’s head, James unexpectedly kissed me. Smiling, I looked at the clock. “James, look, it’s Christmas.” James looked at the clock that said 12:30 AM and smiled fondly at me.12

“That it is, Kenz.” He helped me out of bed to put our girls down and go back to bed ourselves. Putting Jessie down in her own crib, I turned to look at James who was kissing Gracie. He turned to look at me and crossed the room swiftly to give Jessie a kiss on the forehead.13

“It was nice of you to stay up with Jessie. She was so helpless; I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m a terrible mother, Jimmy.” I looked to the floor as James stood up and took me into his arms and kissed my forehead.14

“Mackenzie. You are NOT a bad mother. We’re learning together. I love you Kenz. And you bore my children… my beautiful children.” Leading me back to our room, he sat me down and started kissing my neck. Letting the pleasure overtake me, I forgot about my low self-esteem about taking care of my daughters and let the night take us away from the world. After that, we fell asleep, my head resting on James’ chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. James had his arms around my body and every so often, he would pull me closer to him without realizing it. I couldn’t fall asleep. No matter how much pleasure he gave me, my mind still kept focusing on my Jessie. “Kenzi?” Apparently, James wasn’t asleep.15

“Yes?” I asked him, closing my eyes and inhaling his scent.16

“Promise me you’ll never leave me? That you will always be here to help me out when I need you the most.” It was that question again. Every Christmas Eve or Christmas, he would ask me that. It broke my heart because I knew then he was thinking about his parents. His mother was murdered on Christmas Eve when he was only fifteen-years-old and his father killed himself on Christmas over his mother’s death only three years later. His parents were never there for him. His brother was a drug addict and didn’t care what happened to his younger brother. His little sister eventually killed herself, not being able to face her parents’ deaths. I hugged James tighter to me. I always dreaded this part of Christmas. His thoughts would always drag him to that section of his mind. “Jessica was only fourteen when she killed herself.” This of course I already knew, but still I let him say it to me every year. “I should have taken better care of her, Kenzi. She was too young. She was only ten when Mom died Kenz. And I let her go and hang herself. Just like Dad. I let him go and jump from that cliff. I KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING! AND I DIDN’T STOP HIM!” The tighter I hugged him, the more tears came out. I felt his tears fall onto my bare back and I couldn’t listen to it anymore, but on I let him go. “ And Damion. The asshole. He couldn’t have helped either. He was too fucking busy to get his fucking ass out of jail. Claira wants to dump him. She called me yesterday. Saying she can’t stand being in the abusive relationship anymore. But she’s afraid to because he might hurt her again.” I couldn’t listen to him talk about his brother anymore. It just upset me. So I tried to change the subject.17

“Mom and Dad may try and get up here for Christmas.” I said quickly, but loud enough for him to hear me. I felt his hand brush through my hair. His heartbeat slowed down from his sudden outburst and I was glad. “So what do you think?” It seemed to work.18

“Yeah. They need to see their granddaughters. Plus, you said your brother and sister were coming too, right?” His voice seemed so calm now, but I could tell his parents and siblings were still on his mind. He lifted my chin with one finger and he looked into my moist eyes. His, too, were moist with tears and he kissed me deeply, without letting me answer his question. But he didn’t need it answered. He flipped me over and started tickling me. It lasted for only a minute until I got him back. We laughed quietly. “I love you so so much Kenzi.” He said to me. Suddenly, all the laughing, fun and games was over with and it all turned serious.19

“I know.” I answered. I kissed him fully on the lips and I hugged him. “I love you too.” For the zillionth time that night, he entered me and took me away from the world of everything. Just with that one simple touch, I was in his arms, kissing him. Loving him. He took away all my doubts and fears. He took away the fact that people got hurt on such joyous days. And he replaced it with love. For me. For Gracie and Jessie. And I was proud of him. And I showed him just how proud of him throughout the whole night.20

We woke up to Jessie screaming her lungs out again, only this time, Gracie was doing the same. James looked at me and silently told me to stay in bed and that he would take care of our twin screaming banshees. Carrying in the screaming girls, I offered to take Gracie. James could settle Jessie down quicker and I had my special way with Gracie. Quickly feeding Gracie, I looked at the clock. 6:30 AM. Great. Well, at least they slept from one to this late. They were usually screaming at the crack of dawn. Jessie was calm and when Gracie was finished, I tried to tend to my other daughter. But still she refused to eat. Jessie started to really make me anxious. I looked to James who helplessly shrugged his shoulders. “James, I’m getting worried. Why won’t my baby eat? Is she still sick? Does her diaper need to be changed?” I took Jessie over to the changing table and gingerly set her down and undid the buttons on the baby pajamas. Her diaper was fine. Just a little wet so I changed it. Righting her buttons, I picked her up and started talking to her. “Jessie, you’re worrying Mommy. What’s wrong baby. Why aren’t you eating?” I asked her as if I expected an answer from a two-month-old baby.21

“Kenzi, calm down sweetheart. She’ll be fine. Just give her a few hours. Trust me, she’ll be screaming for you.” James said to me, holding a now sleeping Gracie. I looked to my innocent little girl squirming in my arms. My mother was to be here at 6:30 at night and I had to start the ham at five. I had to clean the whole house and decorate it before anyone came. My nephew, brother and sister-in-law were coming. My sister and her husband with their daughters were coming. My other niece was coming. I had to set a table for too many. It was just too much! After giving Jessie back to James, I went back to our room to sleep for a little bit more. I can’t go on only a half hour of sleep and expect to make the dinner, clean, decorate, and do everything else. A few minutes later, James entered the threshold of our room and told me to sleep for a while. He said he would take care of the girls and clean the house and then get started on the decorating. He also told me that if I heard Jessie start crying to let him get her and he would feed her formula instead of waking me and tiring me out even more.22

“Kenzi, what are you doing to me?” Asked James as he looked to me tied to our bed. His dark brown hair dripping with sweat from trying to undo the bindings to his arms and legs. His usually dark green eyes darker with desire, knowing what was going to come to him. Only in his silk black boxers topped it all off.23

“You’ll see.” I answered his question, a glint of power in my eyes. Only in my bra and underwear, I went over to my love and pushed back his drenched hair and kissed his forehead. Taking the whipped cream I had on the table next to our bed, I stuck my index finger in and brought it to my lips. My hips grinding into his every so often. I stuck my finger back into the cream again and brought it to his lips. Greedily, he sucked my finger clean. I put my whole hand in the bowl this time and brought out a clump of the whipped cream and pasted it over his chest. Going down, I lightly licked over his stomach and belly button. Squirming under me, he kept pulling at his binds, trying to get free to touch me. But I wouldn’t let him off that easy. As I made my way up his chest, he breathed out my name.24

“Kenzi, untie me. Please.” His voice was light and barely audible. I shook my head and his dropped to the bed as I grinded my hips against his again. After about six years, I should know what he likes. Lightly untying one rope, I let his right hand drop the bed. And then the left. For a few seconds, he didn’t even realize, but when James did, he took full advantage of it. Forgetting I left his feet tied, he tried to flip me over and his feet got all jumbled up. Giggling, I got up from underneath him and untied his feet. Once free, James grabbed me by the arm and threw himself on top of me. “Kenzi.” He said my name. But it sounded distant. “Kenzi. Kenzi, wake up sweetie.”25

I woke up from my dream to find James sitting there. No babies in his arms, just his black boxers from the dream. “Morning Kenz. Have a good dream?” His smirk gave away that he knew what I had been dreaming about. I must have turned bright, bright red for he burst out laughing. “Aw Kenz, I just feel a little jealous. Who knows how old I was when you were dreaming.” Just then, I realized what night it was. The night we had conceived Gracie and Jessie. I smiled lightly at him and kissed him on the cheek. I turned my head to look at the clock on my side of the bed. It read 10:15 AM. Getting out of bed, I took off my tank and tossed it into the hamper in the corner of our room. I searched for a bra and my red and green sweater. Finding that, I then went in search for a pair of jeans. Not finding any, I called for James who was here in an instant with a warm pair of light blue jeans for me. Kissing him, I pulled on the jeans and put my hair in a loose ponytail. After tying my shoes, I walked out to where the living room was spotless and our tree shown brightly. Gracie and Jessie’s “First Christmas” ornaments hung right in the center where James and I helped them hang them. Our Christmas picture standing proudly on the mantle of the fireplace. Both of my girls had their red Christmas dresses on, a little bow in each of their hair. Gracie had a white bow and Jessie had a red one. Their little dress-up booties on, matching the bow in their little amount of hair. I walked up to Gracie who was sitting in her highchair watching her Daddy try and feed Jessie in the chair next to her. I picked my little Gracie out of the highchair and she giggled as I did.26

“Is she eating?” I asked, worried if she would drink the formula her Daddy was feeding her or not. James looked up at me.27

“Yes, she’s eating. Thankfully.” He looked back down at Jessie and kissed her as she fell asleep drinking from her bottle. Relief flooded my face as I heard what James said. Putting Gracie in her car seat, I placed her on the table where James was feeding her sister; Gracie started playing with the toys in front of her as I went to go clean the bathroom and our room.28

~Five Hours Later~29

I was finished. I just had to get dinner ready, and I still had a few hours till I got that started. Every room was cleaned, decorated, and everything was quiet. Gracie and Jessie were down for their afternoon nap, and James and I were sitting on our couch watching a movie. I must have fallen asleep again because when I opened my eyes, it was dark, there was the sweet smell of ham floating around the house, family members were already starting to get here, and I heard the giggling of my two favorite girls in the whole world. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My glasses were off and I saw a figure coming towards me. The figure was holding something that kept squirming around. When the figure was close enough for me to see features, I saw that it was my brother holding my squirming Gracie and there was a little boy standing behind him. I took my extended Gracie and was handed my glasses. As I put them on, I saw my younger brother’s son, Dillon, was the one standing behind them. I put Gracie on my lap and held her with one arm as I gently took Dillon by the arm and gently told him to give his Aunty Kenzi a hug. After giving me a hug, Dillon gave Gracie a little kiss on the top of her head and she giggled at him. “Hey there Buddy. How old are you going to be?” His birthday was coming up and ever since my brother and his fiancée set the date, everyone had been asking him how old he was going to be. Dillon held up three fingers. Unlike his father, Dillon was very, very shy.30

My younger brother, Zack, took his little son into the other room when an “ahem” came from the doorway. I looked up to see James holding Jessie standing there. We were going to wait till my parents got here to open presents, but it looked like a small change of plans. “Hey Zack. We’ll only be a moment.” Zack nodded his head and took Dillon into the kitchen. “I wanted to have a little bit of family time before we brought in your family.” He placed Jessie in my lap also and went to the tree and grabbed two presents, one for each baby, and then he grabbed a small box wrapped in golden wrappings. He took Jessie back in his arms, gave me Gracie’s present, and helped Jessie open her present as he sat down on the couch next to me. As I helped Gracie open the toy James and I picked out, he was doing the same for Jessie. When Gracie and Jessie squealed as they hugged their stuffed animals. Gracie babbled in baby talk the name of her pink elephant and Jessie did the same with her blue bunny rabbit. Putting Jessie snuggly in the corner of the couch so she didn’t move or hurt herself, James gave the rectangular box to me.31

Carefully unwrapping the golden paper, I opened the box. Gasping at what was in the box, I pulled Gracie to my side and gave James a kiss. “Thank you! I love it.” I gently took out the bracelet and looked at the charms around it. One was of a snowflake; one had the birthstone of our girls, my birthstone, his birthstone, a pen with a piece of paper, and so many more. Each represented something in my life. My twins, my love, this first Christmas, my writings, my love for horses, roses. “You can call Mom and everyone else they can come in.” James nodded his head and placed Jessie near me so she couldn’t hurt herself.32

Eventually, my sister, nieces, brothers and parents came into the living room. Mom came near me and took Jessie and placed her in her lap. “Hey there Kenzi. How you holding up?”33

“Fine Mom. Girls are a bit of a handful, but I think we’re going to be fine. That first week was a total scare with Gracie here…but I think we’re all going to be perfectly fine.” Suddenly, Skylar came up to me and gave me a big kiss.34

“Thank you Aunty Kenzi. I love my doll.” Skylar showed me the baby doll I had bought her and smiled fondly at me. Then Dillon, who was barely talking still, said a baby talk thank you to me and showed me his Thomas the Train toy I gave him. I hugged both my niece and nephew and kissed each of their heads. My eighteen-year-old niece Elyzabeth came up to me and hugged me saying thank you for the sapphire stud earrings and 3-stone diamond necklace I gave her. I got up, handing Gracie to Elyzabeth. I went to the tree and grabbed Mom’s present. The whole night was spent that way. By 9:30 PM, we had everyone gone and the girls both asleep.35

That night, we spent all night giving each other our true Christmas presents. He carried me to our bedroom the same way he did on our wedding night. James unzipped my pants and slid them down my slender, smooth legs, leaving my underwear on. My hands roamed over his back as he took off my sweater. My hands moved on their own accord to his belt buckle and zipper of his jeans. As I undid both, I helped him slip out of them, leaving his boxers on. Kissing my neck, he rolled me over on top of him as he undid my bra hook. Sliding each strap elegantly off my shoulder, he tossed it onto the floor. I grabbed a hold of his shirt collar and brought it over James’ head. He laid me back down and kissed down my neck, between the valley of my breasts and down my stomach to my belly button. He went on from there to kiss the small patch of hair between my legs. From there on, he started sucking while I squirmed underneath his mouth. Inserting two fingers was where it sent me over the edge for only the first of many. Breathing heavily, I pulled him up by the arms to kiss him fully on the mouth, tasting myself with the mixture of his cinnamon toothpaste. It was mouth-watering.36

I turned him over so it was his turn to be under me. I stripped off his boxers and positioned myself where his member stood proudly. Kissing him lightly, I heard him suck in a breath. That’s when I took him. I wrapped him in my whole mouth. Rocking my head back and forth at a steady, gentle pace, I hummed a small tune. The same small tune he was humming to Jessie just last night to calm her down. Letting my tongue guide itself, it moved around him. Bobbing my head gently, I circled the tip with my tongue and went back to my previous job. I slid my tongue up and down his hardened erection and with each stroke; his breathing became more ragged. His whole body trembled with excitement and pleasure. I felt he was about to come, so I stopped. A small, disappointed sound came from his luscious lips and I lightly kissed him on the nose. A promise for more later. I stripped out of what was left of my clothing: a thong. Positioning my entrance so his member went slightly in, I waited a moment until I slammed down with all my force, making his head go back with all the pleasure and I took my chance to kiss his neck. Placing both hands on my breasts, he had his fun while I had mine. Letting him cum in me, I laid my head on his chest to catch my breath. James turned me over finally and kissed my forehead. “I love you Kenzi.” He told me. All I could do was nod. My heart was racing and by the sound of it, so was his. James’ body heat kept me warm as he pulled the covers around us for merely ten minutes. 37

We listened to each other’s breathing patterns, but as soon as mine returned to normal, James turned me to him and kissed me. I pushed him back down on his back and went to his now limp member. I could easily fix that. I took him in my right hand and gently glided my hand up and downward. Each movement bringing his erection back to life.  I brought my mouth back to his member and I touched my tongue back to it, keeping my promise from before. I put as much of him as I could in my mouth and pulled back smoothly. I started to go faster and faster. Bobbing my head and humming that same little tune he sang to our daughter. He couldn’t take it anymore and right before he came in my mouth, he pulled me up and flipped us. Straddling me, James massaged my chest and breasts. Suddenly, he took one in his mouth, playing with the other. I started squirming again, but he didn’t mind. He switched so my other nipple was in his mouth and he was playing with the other. I whimpered. I hated it, yet loved it. He moved his head and stuck his tongue out as he licked down my stomach, dipping his tongue into my belly button. He only kissed between my legs, and this time, I was grateful. But what I wasn’t expecting him to make his tongue into a fine point and slithered it in me. He came back up and kissed my forehead and then my lips. That’s when he took his chance and slipped into me. He came back up and moistened his middle, index, and ring finger of his left hand and slid them into the tight space. Arching my back, I let him do his wonders to me. Moving his fingers a certain way to make me already breathless, he used his mouth to play around with my clit, It was my turn to intake a huge amount of oxygen. Slowly, he would come out till only the tip of him was still in me, and then he would forcefully thrust back into me. Causing me to arch my back several times. After a few more thrusts, he started going more gentle and slower. It killed me. I was always used to him being rough, and I never minded. I loved him for it. I always got what I wanted in the end. But he did. It was excruciating. The slower he withdrawed, the slower he would enter. It finally got to me and when he was thrusting back in, I quickly lifted my hips and grinded them with his. He kissed my neck and suddenly went back to his normal pace. Finally he lost it and just stayed still, letting his orgasm overtake him. I eventually came right after or just before him, but this time, I came with him. We stayed there, resting. He laid his head on top of my chest, which was rising and dropping at a rapid pace. James finally found the strength to push himself off of me and cuddled me up to him. “Merry Christmas James.” I said when I finally found my voice out of the whole night.38

“Merry Christmas Kenzi. I love you. So, so much.” He rested one hand on my hip and the other splayed across my back. My head rested on James’ chest listening to his heartbeat, my hand on his chest. And we fell asleep right after that. It was truly the most perfect first Christmas together. As a family.39

The End40