1
I hissed silently as he pressed the cigarette harder on my wrist. The burns he made before were really starting to hurt and the pain was unbearable. 2
“Ow,” I finally cried out “Stop it please.” I said trying to wrench my hand out of his grasp. 3
“Shhh,” he said soothingly “Just a couple more.” 4
I closed my eye and felt the cigarette touch my skin again, I bit down hard on my lip as he held it down harder and finally it stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at him. 5
“All done now.” He said. 6
“Good.” I said and took the cigarette from him smoking it down to the butt. We could hear the noise of all our friends shouting and having fun, but just like us they were miserable underneath. So here we were. Me and Sam giving each other our doses of pain, what we needed to stay alive. The first time it happened it wasn’t intentional, I’d done it to him by accident and he loved it, from then on it generated. We both stopped cutting as the burning was a new way of staying alive. Some would say what we did to each other was selfish. But I loved him, and if this kept him alive then I would whatever it was to keep him alive. I’d rather inflict pain on him than have him go and have no one at all. 7
I lit up another cigarette; it was his turn now. I held is hand ready to do it when I heard someone running up behind us. 8
“Hey you two.” Someone said. 9
I turned around it was someone I recognised from school but I’d never spoken to them in my life. Nathan. 10
“Do I know you?” I asked. 11
“No, but my friends are over there and your friends are over there so I thought I’d introduce myself to you guys,” he said sitting down “So what are you guys doing?” 12
I turned back around; he was making himself comfortably and I hated it couldn’t he see that this just wasn’t the time? 13
Sam grabbed the cigarette from me, and held my hand with the other one. 14
“Talking.” he said. And then there was silence. I shivered; it was cold, we were sitting up on the hill and I could see the sun going down. 15
“Perhaps I should go now.” Jesse said standing up. 16
“Mmm,” Sam said mindlessly “Talk to you some other time,” 17
“Bye Sandra, I’ll see you around school.” Nathan said and walked away. 18
“So those are the people you hang around with in school?” he asked disapprovingly. 19
“No, I don’t even know him.” I said mindlessly. 20
Everything seemed so hazy; I was cold and in pain and my head was really starting to hurt. 21
“Sandra?” Same said looking at me “You ok?” 22
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get this over with,” I said and he handed me what was left of the cigarette. “Ready?” 23
“Any time.” 24
I pressed the cigarette hard on this skin; this time it was my turn to inflict the pain. Knowing that he could feel what I felt gave me some sort of satisfaction. I took it off and pressed down on another part of his wrist and leaned in to kiss him. We kissed and the harder I pressed the faster he moved his tongue around my tongue and suddenly I bit it. Instantly I felt his tongue swell and the blood rush into my mouth I swallowed it and we still carried on kissing and when we broke away my hand was numb because of how hard he was holding it. 25
“Is that enough?” I asked. 26
“No, just one more.” He whispered. 27
So I pressed the cigarette down again on his wrist. Then I lifted it up and smoked the rest of it. We sat in silence before he took of his jacket and gave it to me. I leaned on his shoulder and we both stared at the sunset. 28
Author notes
This was a something thought up in my head after I was with some friends smoking. The bit with the dash after it is the bit I couldn’t decide whether to leave out or keep in. I hope you enjoy this; purely thought up in my sick little mind, I used my name because I couldn’t find anything better.
I was thinking of making it a series but I’m not sure seeing as this is a weird beginning, but I need some feedback before I do another chapter. I’m also not so sure about the title any suggestions?
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Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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YES YES YES oh my god Im in love this is my sadistic type of genre i love to death burn bitch burn
im kinda speechless and in love with this peice
must read more work
Blair
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Wow thank you for your comment, I compltely adored it because you gave me some really helpful stuff. Thank yoouu!!!
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Sadomasochism paper-twisted with youth; reminiscent of sweet (That is English for "candy") wrappings.
It's not particularly shocking in itself; until the explicit reference to cutting; with a Sadian edge rather original and refreshing. Thus the pair don't cut to extinguish/"numb" pain(SUCH an overused word) but instead they excite each other with the infliction of it.
Nothing dazzling; I'd bring out the sadomasochistic side to really critique the society of "depression" and "self-abuse" we find ourselves lost in; for that is where the strength of this piece could really lie. Subvert (what has already, quite cleverly, been subverted) and you change.
Nice.
NISATAJI
Edited on Mar 17, 2:33 p.m. because 'I'm human'. -
Heyy, what do you mean about publication? Erm I'm not really sure about Nathan, but he will be in future parts when I get my head round writing it. Hehe, thankks though =]
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Thank youu!!!
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I would suggest that if Nathan was random and not part of the story, you drop him. He is a very undeveloped character and the piece won't miss him. Or maybe develop him more, how does his sudden interest affect you two. Is he secretly a cutter to and wants to join, OR is he the one who teaches you better ways to deal with the pain..
I am interested to know if you really want to write this for publication or just for you??? I know this is just a part of a larger story idea, but it sure leaves the reader with a lot of questions. -
sad, yet slightly romantic in a bizarre way. good write, i liked it. definitely different. good joob, keep up the great work.
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YAY!
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Thank you very much and if I do write a new one I'll let you know.
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I like it a lot. I'd be happy and thrilled to read another chapter and really do hope you write one.
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I liked this..it definitely grabbed my attention. I would be interested to see where the next chapter would take it.. keep going with it.
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Oh it wasn't meant to sound loveinly. Yeah Natahns presence is random. But thank you for your comment && I love your username.
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Thank and I will let you know.
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Keep Going
This seems unfinsihed and a little unexplained. I like the moral to it, but some points were contradicting. The girl said (and it sounded like she meant it, lovingly) that there was no one in the world like him. And then she gtes angry, and I think you should pursue it further there. And, in my own opinion, you should talk a little more about Nathan or something. His prescence seems very random and maybe unnecessary. Anyway, that was an awesome story, and please tell me if you extend it or write more. I am looking forward ton it if you do. Hugs and Kisses -
interesting
wow that was weird, yet i liked it. i think you should keep it up, it seems like there is so much left to explain, so much more story behind everything. the title really fits in with it too. great job! lemme know if you do write more! ~kami -
I liked it. Yeah, it's a bit twisted, but it's interesting.
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