~~Untittled~~

As I remember all the memories I made in that small town I can't help but smile. That small town came to be a big part of my life. I grew up so much in such a short time. I realized I grew up the most the first year I moved there.1

I was so excited. I finally get to go to a new school, start a new life. The main reason was I was going to be going to school with my best friend Jacki. My boyfriend, at the time, was so supportive even though I was moving away from him. The day finally came.As the day grew on I was getting more mad by the minute. Everywhere I turned around I was getting called a name or getting told to go back to Grand Island. For about three weeks I went through the same routine, wake up, go to school where I would get made fun of, then go home and cry. It was so horrible, but I refused to give up. Then I stopped hanging out with Jacki, my drug and alcohol friends started taking over my after school and weekend time. I was finally starting to be respected bye these small town teens. One night I'll never forget is the night my drinking went too far. I did something I swore myself I wouldn't do, I cheated on my boyfriend. After that night I cried for a week straight. Even though I told him he still wanted to be with me! I was so surprised, but most of all I was so happy. I promised him I wouldn't drink anymore even though it was going to be really hard since that's what all my friends here did.2

That only lasted a few days. All too soon I was back to my old habit, drinking to the point of passing out. I guess it was to get rid of my pain, a temporary fix of my broken heart. Soon enough I was in an even worse routine, every weekend I would sneak out and one of my guy friends would come get me and we'd go get drunk. Before I knew it I was an alcoholic.3

A few months later I decided enough was enough, I was going to break up with Justin. I was tired of lying to him. I had also cheated on him two more times, and the worst part of that was the two guys were my drinking buddies, two of the "guys". I felt so low, but the more drinking I did the closer the "guys" and me got. Soon getting drunk wasn't enough. We decided to go car hopping for ourselves and for each other. We mostly stole decks, Cd's, and tools. One night me and 5 others almost got caught. I never had more of an adrenalin rush as I did that night running from the cops. That was the night we realized this isn't a good way to grow up so we stopped.4

Thee was this one guy, Quincy, whom I hung out with everyday. We became so close. I could tell him anything and he could do the same and both of us knew our secrets wouldn't be told. I wish we could have stayed that close till he at least graduated.5

About a week before school got out my best friend Devin, moved back. I had met him that previous summer and we became so close. I admit right from the beginning I had the biggest crush on him. I was so excited. I haven't seen him since November! Sure I had talked to him on the phone a few times but it just wasn't the same. When I finally saw him my jaw literally dropped and my eyes went huge. I couldn't believe how much he had changed! The last time I saw him he looked like he was 12 years old and he was about 4 inches shorter than me. Now I looked straight in his eyes, I didn't have to look down anymore, and he no longer looked 12 but rather his true age, 15. He had really grown up. The only thing I missed was his attitude, he was no longer a hyper little punk, but rather a low key man.6

I loved it, school was out, I hung out with Devin everyday and "the guys" as they were called. They also threw parties almost everyday. Instead of having it out in the country it was over at Mikes house, a boy that moved there in April. It was safer and easier to get to. During the day when it was really hot out some of us would go to the river to cool off. A few weeks after Devin got here I started smoking pot with him and the rest of the guys. Soon enough we stopped buying as much alcohol and spent that money on weed. Everyday some of us would go to Mike's and get high. It was just the thing to do.7

One day my world came crashing down. A not so well liked boy, John, threw a party while his parents were gone. I was bummed because I couldn't go, I was grounded because my dad had caught me sneaking out the night before. Everyone was there having the time of their lives, everyone except me that is. Around 10:30 I decided to call it a night and just as I was about to fall asleep my cell rang. It was William. Somebody had rated out the party and almost everyone got MIPed. All heads turned to me. My buddies, MY BOIS were blaming me! I couldn't believe it! The people that meant everything to me wouldn't vie me the time of day! I was so crushed. I cried on the phone with one of my best friends, Erica, from GI for hours. She was pissed.8

One night while Quincy was having a party she stormed over there and riped every single one of them out. Quincy came to his senses first. He realized I went partying with them all the time and right then he realized just how much I care about them. Soon he had everyone believing him. Devin even came over and gave me a big hug. Then everyone started to say William told the cops, after all he did leave right before the cops showed up. I was so happy, everything was slowly going back to the way it used to be.9

Now it was like every night Mike threw a party. My curfew was 11 and by the time I got home my dad was sleeping on the chair. So I'd wake him up and he'd go downstairs to sleep. I'd then sneak out the back door and jog to Mike's.10

Before I knew it the summer was winding down and I had met my first true love. The only thing was he was leaving early August for UNL to be a cheerleader. We spend as much time together as possible. That was a good thing according to him because it was taking away my partying time. I didn't care, all I wanted to do was spend time with him. After about a month of "seeing" him I realized I really truly loved him. One night on the phone he told me he loved me. I couldn't believe it! I started to cry because I was so happy! I, of course, told him I loved him too. Then one of the worst nights came, the night before he left for college. I asked if he was going to stop and say goodbye to me. He told me no because he wouldn't have enough time. I broke down. Tears started falling before I knew it. I called up Will in tears. He told me to have faith and go to sleep and I'll just have to see what happens in the morning. I felt a little better.11

The next morning I woke up at 8. I was going to take a shower just in case he showed up. Then I remembered what he told me so I went back to bed. I woke up suddenly to my phone ringing, it was 9. I answered unwillingly still half asleep. Then I recognized the voice, it was CJ! He asked what I was doing and I said sleeping. Then he said something that made my one of the luckiest girls ever, he was on my porch! He had come to say goodbye! After some tear filled goodbyes and two I love yous he was gone again. I instantly started bawling, the love of my life was gone and I wouldn't be able to see him till Thanksgiving.12

Soon enough school started, but this year was different, I was different. Everybody liked me and the best thing was I was going to school with Devin. I felt so cool. I was in one of the coolest groups, known as the potheads. Everyone respected and loved us. Everyday was the same, go to school then head to Mike's to chill and smoke.13