After her day painting, she sat, on the back row, of the number 77 bus looking at her artwork.1
“That’s beautiful, that is,” an elderly lady said, leaning forward to have a closer look. 2
The woman smiled in shy embarrassment. 3
*4
His meeting had overrun, his briefcase lock had snapped off, and his taxi had been late. What else could go wrong today?5
*6
The bus grinded to a halt in front of her stop, as she tidied her layered skirt that she’d made during her gap year in South America. She smiled at the old lady as she stepped off the bus, and wrapped her beaded shawl tighter around her to keep out the winter cold.7
*8
Traffic jam. Just what he needed. The taxi driver just sat there like there was all the time in the world. He glanced at his watch. The shop shut in ten minutes. He needed that suit for his brother’s wedding. He gave up. Shoving twenty pounds at the driver, he stormed out the taxi, deciding to walk instead.9
*10
She stood with her iPod in her ears, softly playing her favourite jazz. The bus, she had just got off of, slightly blocked her view of the road to her left, but she couldn’t see anything coming. 11
*12
He strode onto the pavement, and beside a bus. Number 77. So that was what was causing the traffic, he concluded. Damn things.13
*14
She stepped out into the middle of the road…15
*16
He stepped out next to her…17
*18
Neither of them initially saw the car.19
People say accidents happen. 20
But explain this to me.21
Why did one lie dead upon the fresh snow, under the glowing street lamp, whilst the other moved just in time, so left unharmed, to live another day?22
Author notes
Inspired by a tale written by Sara Green
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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This piece is so sad, and shows what we go through in everyday life. The decisions we carry out in life can sometimes cost our lives. It is a commonly known fact, but we take time for granted. If only impatience weren't a factor in this piece, I am sure that the male is the one who died...but maybe not. After all, the lady was involved in her work...probably walked down the street and was hit...while the impatient male who was in the rush, ran across the street. Hmmm...yes, the female probably died, even though she was the kinder one in the piece. 'Tis a pity. Keep up the great work...your version of this story was spectacular.
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I have a bit of a dillema here. I believe your word counter counted each of your astisks as a word thereby giving you 300 when you in fact only have 292.
This is an interestng rewrite of a well known story, but it is not particulary original. It is a story that has been around forever and has been written and rewritten many times. I do like some of the details you have added.
thank you for your entry and good luck.
Susan
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