He's Over Me...

I think it's just the whole, "If I can't have him, I don't want anyone else to have him" kinda thing that's going to be my downfall. I remember my second boyfriend. He was tall, dark, and handsome. His teeth were kinda far apart, and his lips were huge, but I liked it. He was my baby for a month and a half. I really liked him alot. Not love. I've never loved a boy, probably never will. 1

I'm going to call him Caiden. I remember I noticed him the first day of school, the sexy boy that sat in the back, in his baggy jeans and oversized shirt. He wasn't ghetto. He tried, but he wasn't. 2

He was too shy to talk to me (his friends kept dragging him over, but he would duck away). So I went over and looked him in the eye and smiled, "Did you wanna talk to me?"3

He nodded, took my hand, and said, "Yea, hey, can I have your phone number?" 4

I wasn't impressed. As a matter of fact, I was dissapointed. If he couldn't talk to me to my face, how was he going to talk to me on the phone?5

"Uh, no." I slipped my hand away from his.6

For about ten minutes we stood there, trying to figure out what to talk about. A few times we would walk off, away from his friends so they would stop goofing around and making faces at us. 7

"So maybe we could go to the game this Friday, and then get something to eat?" He asked.8

I smiled. The thought was nice, but I was going to be gone that weekend. 9

"Nope, sorry, I'm gonna be out of town."10

"Oh," he nodded, a hint of dissapointement in his voice. "So... ae you gonna write me?"11

I smirked and shook my head. "No, you can write me first, though." (This is just my little thing because I figure if he likes me, he can take time to write me).12

At first he argued, but I told him if he wanted me to write him, he would have to write me first. The bell rang, and it was time to get to first hour. 13

That was our first real conversation... the beginning of a beautiful nightmare...14

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He did write me-a long note. Several questions. Nice handwriting. This kid was pretty cool. I wrote him back. He worte me back. It went like this for a few days. Then one day he had his arm around me. This girl came up and smiled, "Aw, Caiden, is this you?" He nodded proudly, but I thought he was just playing.16

Before I knew it, however, people were telling me about how they'd talked to my boyfriend, about how they'd seen him around, and so forth. I figured out it was Caiden, and I guess I was cool with it. No big deal. I had a boyfriend. And I felt good. He gave me attention, but he let me be a little bit independent too. It was okay the first two weeks.  17

Then I started to get jealous. He'd always been friends with girls. And he was still friends with girls. But sometimes he could be too friendly. His boys would stop me in the hall, "Hey, what the hell is Caiden doin walkin around wit that girl?" It made me think something was going on. But I was too quiet. To this day, I don't know if he cheated on me. 18

I broke up with him after he went around telling all his boys that we'd had sex. But looking back on it, I still remember all the sweet little things he would do, just asking me how I was feeling, and whether or not he was being good to me. 19

I still want him... 20

But it's breakin my heart, thinkin about how...21

I think he's over me...22