DARK SKYS1
BY2
JUAN J MARTINEZ3
CHAPTER 14
Cruz stood in the doorway and breathed in the darkness. He always felt more alive at night and loved the strength and invulnerability it gave him. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag from it. The soft glow from his lighter, illuminated his face long enough to see his cold, dark, soulless eyes. Cruz was a creature, and predator of the night and the city was his hunting ground and the unsuspecting citizens were his prey. He zipped up his jacket and then put his right hand into his pocket to make sure the gun he took from his mother’s bedroom was still there. He then took one more look into his mother’s apartment and saw that she was still lying on the floor. He muttered” Stupid bitch” before he disappeared into the night.5
Cruz had just been release on parole after three years in prison for a botch robbery. He and his cousin Ruben got caught during a liquor store robbery. He still laughs at the thought of the liquor storeowner crawling around on the floor as he pleaded for his life. If it wasn’t for his idiot cousin forgetting to lock the door, the fat cop that caught him would never had walked into the store and he would have gotten away like just like countless times before. He then thinks of how if it wasn’t for turning over on Ruben and blaming him for several unsolved armed robberies and murders he would still be in prison. That moron DA was so eager to close those unsolved cases he took Cruz’s lies as the gospel truth and gave him a deal to testify against his cousin. He didn’t owe any loyalty to anyone but himself. His dad taught him that before he walked out on him and his mother. So the fact of his cousin being locked up on death row didn’t cause him any grief. Besides that was all behind him. Today he was hungry and ready for some action. For that he needed some wheels and some cash and he knew exactly how and where to get it. 6
Cruz could see the corner traffic light from his hiding place. He could also see the cars and their passengers as they came to a stop when the light turned red. He could feel the adrenalin in his body rise as he watched and waited for his next meal. He had in his years of living on the streets learned who was the easy and perfect victim. The rich yuppies in their expensive, foreign cars felt like they owned everything and everyone. With their noses in the air they never saw the people in the streets and that was their weakness, a weakness Roberto was quick to exploit. He waited patiently, without a sound, except the pounding in his chest. He stood in the unlit corner of the building and griped the handle of the 38 in his pocket. His heart started to beat faster and his palms started to sweat as he saw the gray BMW drive up and slowly come to a stop. He suddenly and violently jumped into the street, like a hyena pouncing on defenseless baby antelope. He ran up to the car next to the driver’s side and drove his gun into the passengers face. He laughed, as the man at the wheel immediately put his arms into the air and cried out “Please don’t hurt me I have a wife and children.” “Take anything you want just don't hurt me.”7
Cruz forced the door open to the car and pulled the man out. As he proceeded to punched and hit the passenger in the head with the butt of his gun, he shouted out in anger “Give me your wallet, you punk ass faggot.” Grabbing the wallet from the trembling hands of the passenger, Roberto quickly jumped into the car, the wheels screeching as he drove off. Through the rear view mirror, Roberto took one last look at his victim. The smile on his face faded as he thought for a moment that he saw his victim get up and start to laugh. Couldn't be, could it have?8
The carjack victim suddenly and quickly sprang to his feet. Looking at his car as it sped away, he cursed, “Dam you”. He then forcefully jammed his right hand into his coat pocket and whipped out a small device, which looked like a cell phone. As he extended the antenna on the device a loud and dark laugh escaped his lips. He then pointed the device towards his car and in an instant his car exploded and bursted into flames. An evil grin swept across his face as he put the device back into his pocket and walked into the darkness of the night.9
CHAPTER 210
Detective King lifted the sheet that covered the burnt body that had been removed from the car that was now just a burnt out shell.” Shit!! Somebody really hated this poor puke.” He told the coroner who was standing next to him. “Let me guess, cause of death, heartburn” he continued. Larry Burns who had been a coroner with city morgue for over five years had met Detective King at least twice and he came to the conclusion in that short time that every one was right King was an a hole. I’ll have the report on your next by the end of the shift” He shouted to the detective before slamming the doors behind him as he got into the back of the van.11
King looked over the burnt out car before walking over to the senior uniform officer. “Detective King” Sergeant Jones said as he looked up from his clipboard. “So what do we have hear Jones” King responded.” “Looks like somebody blew up a Hector Cruz” The Sergeant said as handed the Detective a slightly burnt drivers license with the picture of a Latin male and the name Roberto Cruz typed under it.12
The Detective took the license, looked at it and thought the picture looked familiar. Detective King thought for a moment and tried to remember where he had seen the face and where he had heard the name before. Suddenly a three-year-old memory popped into his head. He was still a beat cop when he walked into a liquor store hold up. He apprehended two small time low lives, which resulted in several open cases being solved and closed. This helped in getting him notice enough to eventually get him promoted to detective. He always hated that the young punk who he actually felt pulled the trigger got off easy. He felt the DA made a mistake by making a deal with Roberto Cruz. The street scum got off easy with only a few years and the family of the store clerk got a life time of living without their husband and father.13
Detective King walked into the major crimes unit squad room, which was situated on the second floor of the 23rd precinct of the Chicago police dept. He sat down at his desk and read the autopsy report. King laughed and a wicked smile crossed his face as he thought of how Cruz got what he deserved. He shoveled a few more papers into the file and stamped the word open case on the outside. He then threw the files into an open cabinet and closed it. He got up from his desk and walked out into the doorway of the police station. He pulled up the zipper of his jacket and brought a cigarette up into his mouth. He looked out into the city and walked out into the darkness.14
Author notes
Been working on this story for some time. Any feed back is appreciated.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Certainly interesting, especially the way you catch the criminal persona in this.
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The ending feels too rushed. You have the pronoun "he" 12 times in the last two paragraphs. It became monotonous. I think it has a lot of potential though. Just spend a little more time on the ending.
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3,028 words contest limit 1,000
I don't write stories that often, and they are not that good. so I don't have an oppinion (I thought that you did a good job with it) -
This is a really good story, I enjoyed every minute.
The main character is well develpoped, good job.
Fudge


