An Eternal Gift

When I saw you standing right there1

I thought it was all in my mind2

As a while ago you left me alone3

To return to your very own kind4

You come from where we all go to5

Hundreds of years from now6

Why are you here, what do you want7

You know you've broken our vow8

Last time we met not all was good9

Harsh words were used in vane10

So I suggested that this time 11

We Start anew again12

As you agree I watch your eyes13

You seem so far away14

A troubled look can tell alot15

So please you need to say16

A danger man you say to me17

Is coming the time draws near18

So please you must hear my words19

It's worse than I had feared20

He's tried his best to entrap your love21

By buying items gained through greed22

You must avoid him promise now23

He begged so I agreed24

There are some questions I dare ask25

How will I know this man26

Have I the strength to face my fear27

How do you know I can28

These fears in me I can not fight29

Don't make me face it alone30

My heart believes this man is you31

Something I know you've known32

So why not tell if this you knew33

Or can I help you change34

I feel that I can free your soul35

Which I think is very strange36

So tell me now how long I have37

I hope it's more like weeks38

As now I know this man is you39

I know my love you seek40

I now look down upon your face41

Whats that I see a smile42

That's all I need to ease my fears43

It makes it all worth while44

Are you here to help me through45

Is that why you did return46

Or maybe that my love for you47

Was all your heart would yearn48

Both of them and much much more49

You love with an endless glow50

So when you meet the present me51

Let the love we have just flow52

Do not hold back if I seem cold53

My hurt has cut so deep54

My memory of you is all I need55

For my love to wake from sleep56

When we meet for the first time57

Chemistry will be strong and intense58

These forces they come from deep inside59

These forces don't fight against60

Our life will be tough sometimes apart61

Though our love will stay the same62

For what I have learnt from all our lives63

Only love can cure the pain64

I will not look the same when we meet65

Only your heart will know I'm sure66

Look into my eyes and discover me here67

Then search you'll do no more68

So when I meet this other you69

Will you feel the same for me70

Will you know just who I am71

I'm scared of this you see72

Yes my love how could I not73

I'm here from the love you gave74

I'll tell you this our futures good75

You taught me to behave76

So now I've said what I want77

It's time for me to part78

A hundred years is not that long79

When you live in someones heart80

Then we'll meet as true selves81

Whoever they may be82

Then we know we've finally earned83

The gift of eternity84

Author notes

I tried to write a short story in poetry form. I hope you enjoy

A contest entry

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Frozen Angel
    July 28, 2008

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    I really liked this. I do not come across many story poems (although I believe poems tell a story in itself) and I quite enjoyed this one.

    One spelling mistake: In line 10, "vane" should "vain".

    Thank you for entering my contest.

    *Frozen Angel*


  • xoxKokaygirlxox
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was a great poem story sounding thingy lmao but it was good i really liked it


  • Yoko
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was a nicly written poem. I enjoyed reading it. It had a lot of voice. I enjoyed it. Keep writin. Hehe, mew!


  • dark-fantasies
    May 28, 2008

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    This was a very well written poem, but I had a little trouble understanding it. It was very enjoyable and engaging, and I kind of get the drift of the poem, but I know that I haven't fully grasped its meaning yet... This flowed really well and the rhythm and rhyme in this was perfect. If this was a poetry contest, then you'd definetly win. Very original, and wonderful job.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was nice to read and completely enjoyable. I did at times have a hard time following what was actually happening, but that could just be me. Very well done...enjoyed it much... ~D


  • Blackwings
    April 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done this was great, very original ^.^


  • lovableReese
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very nice story. I liked it a lot. I liked how it flowed together. Great job, and good luck in the contest.

  • ZackTruel
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, it was a little hard for me to understand exactly what was going on, and the spaces between the lines and lack of ordered sections made it hard.

    However, the rhythm and rhyme was practically flawless, and even though I didn't understand alot of what was going on, I still loved the way you said some of the stuff about love, and it was so true. You definetly are going to make finalist, and if you could possibly arrange the poem with better order(like grouping the verses together ect...), then you definetly might take the win.


  • GuitarShank Moderators member
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, but since this doesn't meet the word requirement, it's not going to win. You could try entering something else that's 1000-5000 words (preferably a story in prose)


  • darkpaintedreams
    October 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hey thanks for entering this in my contest. This was great and it held my attention easily. I have to admit I'm not very smart and I'm not sure what all is going on but I do understand the love and parts of the story. The parts I do get I really like. Great job on this and good luck in the contest.


  • beyondsonic
    April 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't really see much sci-fi in this... never the less, it's a great poem, nice rhyme, and I really like the last line might want to break it into stanzas though


  • Vietbabe909
    April 20, 2007

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    interesting...

    the poem is not a story, what i was hoping for. it poem is okay to me. thanks for entering in my contest


  • Scotlass
    January 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    What a different idea for a storyline. Most enjoyable. Good luck in the contest.

  • sunless
    December 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is realy good. i like how you did it. it was a wonderful love story and it made me wish that i had a boyfriend... oh well. great job
    good luck in the contest
    cat~

1 - 14 of 14