Secret Radio Murders - Chapter 57

by Geri Fitzsimmons & Andy Stephenson1

Zach Hamlin sat stiffly in the driver’s side of the Impala. His hands were knuckle-white on the wheel, as he idled the motor and stared at the gas gage with disdain. When he signed out the car that morning from the police motor pool it registered a two-thirds full, now it was under half. Silently, the young detective cursed the last driver who hadn’t bothered to top off the tank before he parked it, of course; he ignored the fact he hadn’t bothered to do it when he took it. Both were unwritten procedures that never got enforced. 2

Not wanting to burn extra gas on the chance he was forced to follow Carter any distance, Zach left the A/C off, while he sweat uncomfortably from nerves as well as the hotbox atmosphere of the car. Several wet curls drooped on his forehead adding to boyish features. His thick hair had reached a length where picky-ass Benson had made several caustic remarks about it. “God,” Zach sighed, he was lucky he didn’t have Sergeant Brad Benson riding his tail on a steady basis. ‘Yah never could tell about guys. Christ, here Farley was an old geezer, but a Hell of a lot easier to work with. Benson must have been the poster boy for the Boy Scouts.3

Inside the Deli’s rear area, Al Hayes kept a restraining grip on the rotund owner’s shoulder. The man’s questioning dark eyes showed his aggravation and the fact he wasn’t quite certain what the problem was. 4

In his Middle Eastern accent he shifted between corrupt English and his native tongue as he tried to convince the resolute white policeman that he could carry a bluff, pretend nothing was wrong, and get his customers waited on. The late lunch crowd packed in his establishment was his concern, not whatever was bothering this cop. 5

Hayes was having none of it. “Inside,” he ordered and shoved the fellow through the office door. 6

Mumbling angrily, the man obediently shuffled to his desk only to have the door closed with him inside and the policeman still outside. 7

With a final no nonsense order, “Stay put until someone comes for you.” Hayes moved into position where he could observe Carter’s table but not be seen by him.8

So far the suspect showed no signs he was aware of his situation. The young lady sitting with him was obviously mesmerized by Carter’s good looks. ‘Stupid Broad’ Al Hayes thought, ‘Can’t see past the bastard’s face. If we don’t get her away from him, she’s probably bought herself a coffin.’ 9

Limited in the areas of the body an undercover could conceal an automatic and still keep it handy, Hayes favored a waist holster, worn to the left of his spine. Now, as an added precaution, he pulled the weapon free and held it hard against his right hip, the safety still engaged. What he dreaded most was being forced into a ‘shootout’ in a public place.10

He’d fielded calls from both Farley and Benson. Benson’s ten minutes to arrival seemed like an impossible achievement. Farley’s five minutes seemed to drag on forever. Both had ordered him to maintain surveillance and if at all possible not to approach the suspect. 11

On the street outside, swinging along the hot sidewalk, a cheery smile on her face as if she looked forward to a fun day with their new acquaintance, came Terri Bradshaw. 12

There were a number of people on the street, but the attractive bouncy blonde immediately drew Zach’s attention and concern.13

Slipping out of the car, he held up his identification with the badge palmed in his hand as he confronted her one door away from the deli. Two men in front of her, he’d allowed to enter the establishment, but he couldn’t chance something happening to the girl.14

“Let me talk to you a minute?” he said with a wave of the badge.15

 16

17

There was no rationale Dale Carter could attribute to his growing sense of apprehension. The deli maintained an adequate flow of customers coming and going; some were complaining about the slow service, or the mix-ups on their orders, but that wasn’t unusual. Still, his special awareness, that had kept him safe and free for so long, was kicking in and he started to check his surroundings with more care.18

Nothing appeared to have changed; yet something wasn’t right.19

His companion continued to chatter away; pepping him with information that he really wasn’t interested in. A now and then smile or single word comment was all that was required to keep the yapping lady satisfied.20

He continued to consider their immediate environment. There were two girls and a young fellow behind the counter now; the old guy who waited on them was missing. ‘Probably in the back, could be replenishing supplies, counting his take….’21

Madison touched Dale's hand.22

She frowned and remarked, “I wonder what’s keeping Terri?” and Carter realized that more than sufficient time had elapsed since the other girl went to retrieve the car keys. 23

He glanced at the untouched sub and coke at the table’s third setting and then looked up at large white face of the clock on the deli wall; it had read one-o-five when they sat down, now it announced it was twenty minutes later. 24

Dale hid a growing annoyance as he said, “Maybe you should text her? See what’s keeping her?”25

“Probably can’t find something,” Madison said with a snicker. “Terri’s always looking for something she misplaced.” Still, obediently, Madison took out her cell phone and commenced typing. ‘Where r u?’26

Outside Joe Farley had pulled into the curb, and spotting Hamlin moved rapidly from the car to confront the young officer.27

“He’s still inside Sarge. “ Zach spoke quickly as he gestured towards the deli, assuring his supervisor, “Al has him covered.” Then he motioned towards Terri repeating the information she’d given him. “This is the young lady that was with them earlier. Terri Bradshaw, Sergeant Joe Farley. Madison Longo is her cousin. They only just met Carter in the park. Madison’s still with him in the deli.”28

Terri’s countenance wore a mix of emotions. Fear for her cousin was etched plainly on her young features. With what Zach had told her, concerning their companion, she realized the danger Madison was in. Still, she couldn’t help the cloud of relief spilling over, for she knew; she herself had escaped the worse danger. Suddenly she jumped startled by the vibrations and tinkling bells of her cell phone announcing a text. 29

Instinctively, the phone was grabbed and opened. “Maddie,” she whispered to the officers, as if afraid of being overheard.30

Farley fought an unwanted grin as he said, “Open it”.31

Terrie displayed the screen with, ‘Where r u?’32

“Text back ‘I can’t find the car keys’,” Farley ordered. He was thinking perhaps they could draw Carter outside or at least get the girl away from him.33

Terri’s fingers flew across the board. ‘key awol. I’m still on hunt’34

The phone erupted into the blaring tones of ‘We Are The Champions’.35

Farley shook his head no, wait…one raised finger indicated. “Okay, can you pull off a nonchalant attitude? Pretend you’re mad at yourself?”36

Terri was visibly trembling with excitement as she shook her head in the affirmative and wet her lips with her tongue, flipped on speaker, and opened the line as the music died. 37

“Speaker on,” Farley mouthed without sound.38

“Christ, Maddie, I can’t find the ‘F…ing’ key. I just called the desk to have them check if it’s been turned in. I was hoping this was his call.” She rushed her words but no more so than any frustrated teen.39

“Hold on,” Madison said. Everyone held their breaths. Then Madison came back on. “Hey Terri, Daryl wants you to meet us back at the hotel in the lobby...since we’re done eating; we can bring your lunch with us.” 40

“Got cha.” Terrie flipped the phone closed.41

“Daryl?” Farley asked as he quickly ushered her into the Impala with the order to Zach, “Get her away from here.”42

“He told us his name was Daryl…. Please don’t let Maddie get hurt.” Tears glistening in her eyes and the shiver in her tone made him think of his daughter. He was forced to look away to maintain his perspective.43

Still, he promised, “Well do our best,” and swung back away from the Impala to make room for Benson’s SUV pulling up. As the Impala shot off, he yanked open the door of the SUV and jumped in. “Carter’s still inside with one girl,” he said. “He doesn’t know we’re out here or that Al has him covered.” 44

“Got time to clue me in?” Benson asked.45

“Give you the short version,” Farley said. “Any second, Carter should be coming through that door with an unknowing hostage.46

"We’ve closed a one block area, so only our unmarked and few constricted cabs are on the road. The people on the street will soon be only Undercovers. We had hoped to keep him inside until we could replace the civilians in there with our people—but he’s coming out with girl.” 47

“Just as well,” Benson said. “We stand a better chance of minimizing the damage on a larger playing field.”48

In a list

Should our killer be caught, killed, or escape?

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Abstract Muse gold member
    November 17, 2009

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    Hey guys,
    Good chapter setting up the long awaited final confrontation.
    Smooth flow of events with what's going on inside and the arrival of the others outside one by one. It's realistic and easy to follow what's going on as the tension builds.
    Nice touch with Terry's exchange on the cellphone after Farley gets there.
    Didn't notice anything in particular to add for suggestions.

    Caught, killed or escape? Hmmm. Interesting question.

    Being killed would serve him right but it would be too clean an ending for this story unless others are wounded and/or killed. *call me sadistic*
    Being severely wounded and caught would be a good way to wrap things up while leaving an option for a sequel of him escaping prison or being acquitted through some legal loophole (hey, it could happen) and starting all over.
    If he escapes then I hope you guys have already got something in mind for a story or continuation about a manhunt to find him.

    No matter which way y'all decide to go with it I'm sure it will be just as tense and suspenseful as the story has been all the way through.
    Just don't leave us hanging too long, eh? *laughs*
    Greg


    • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
      November 18, 2009
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      (Being severely wounded and caught would be a good way to wrap things) figures you lads would stick together what’s a lass to do . Okay, we will give that idea the first shot—not guaranteeing it will stick so you’ll have to read to find out.

      Hi Greg, so glad to get your opinion on this, when a novel comes abruptly to a close, it always leaves me feeling cheated. Here I invested my money and time and possibly emotions into some story only to have the author say, “enough already, shoot somebody and write ‘END’ .

      This is getting a wee bit longer than we originally planned, but with two of us working, we should be able to give the reader a satisfying conclusion without leaving too many treads untied.

      We really appreciate your loyalty in following this all the way through .

      Geri


  • seamus gold member
    November 15, 2009

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    Give us Barabus

    Wow, seems unfair. 2 great authors teaming up. This piece has a charged atmosphere, like waiting for a smoking volcano to erupt. Great!


    • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
      November 18, 2009
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      Seamus, we really appreciate your picking up on our novel. Since this is one of the final chapters of the first draft, you may want to ‘See’ how this all came about. We will be doing a new draft shortly; it will have changes as well as corrections. Love to have you start at the beginning .

      Really value those nice comments.

      Geri


    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 16, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Hi Seamusl!

      You've jumped in near the end of this story. It's probably a spoiler. If you click the link beneath this chapter, 'Secret Radio Murders' it will take you to the list. It begins with a prologue.

      Geri is an excellent writer. Though she picked up my idea from a short story I'd written, she's done much, much more with it than I'd have ever managed without her. She's carried most of the load in this effort.

      We're drawing to a close, now. Should the killer be caught, killed, or escape? That hasn't been written, yet.

      Andy

  • graybeard
    November 15, 2009

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    Hey Geri and Andy,
    If he's captured now he could escape from prison later and you could write a sequel or he could escape now and you could write one. Kill him and that's pretty much it. Some good suspense in this chapter.
    I did notice a couple of things you might want to look at.
    Para1-line2 Not familiar with the color 'knuckle white'
    same para-line4 strike 'a' registered two-thirds full
    Paras6-7-8 (JMHO) Looks like the sequence is messed up here. Seems it should be-pushed him in the room-told him to stay put-closed the door and then took up his position to watch Carter. That's it
    Steve


    • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
      November 18, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Knuckle-white (make a fist and squeeze) this gem or whatever came to me years ago, like, 'the red of a well-bitten lip'. I’m always trying to find different ways to describe color besides fruit or flowers .

      Morning Steve, we certainly appreciate your quick response to our work, the comments, and of course pointing out those goofs .

      Since your opinion on the ending seems to echo Andy’s, ‘Perhaps’ we will give that a shot first , (Just perhaps can’t give it up yet.)

      Geri

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