Friendship

Have you ever admired someone so much, to a point where you know if you were to lose them, you would probably lose a part of yourself? You continue to admire everything about them, no matter how much it seems they hurt you. And as they walk away that final time, even when you finally realize that there’s no turning back, that you’ve finally reached the end, even then, you don’t believe it’s finally ended.1

The friendship you had began so long ago that you don’t see it ever ending. You had been friends with her longer than you had been friends with anybody else, and yet, now, it seems you’re better friends with everybody else than you are with her. You see things are getting worse every day, but you push the feelings of wanting to let go away, and try your hardest to keep your friendship alive, even if you no longer want to.2

You have mixed feelings on your relationship with her. You two are no longer as close as you used to be. Never again will you have the friendship you used to have with her. Over the years that friendship has disappeared, replaced with nothing but an empty spot in your heart. You realize you were two totally different people. You realize you live two separate lives, with two separate social standings in school. You realize she no longer looks to you as a little sister; instead she looks to you as just a pain that won’t go away.3

The time for the ending of your friendship is coming closer and closer with each passing day. You can no longer stand to even look at her the same way you used to; instead whenever you see her you want to gag. You two are no longer on speaking terms, and if, on the rare occasion you are talking to each other, you are always yelling at each other. Your admiration for her has disappeared. You no longer care about the choices she makes. You no longer try to copy everything she does. Instead you look the other way when you see her doing something wrong. 4

She no longer tries to keep you from making any mistakes. She no longer tries to keep you from the pain and misery that life brings with it. Instead, she rolls her eyes every time she passes you in the hallways.5

This friendship has gone on long enough. You both have tried to avoid this for so long, but it can no longer go left unnoticed. You both try to talk; to save the remnants of this already shattered friendship, but it seems to be gone for eternity, never to return.6

As you sit in your room, looking at the phone, you realize that you will never again dial the once so familiar number. You realize you will no longer call her up at one am to cry because your boyfriend just broke up with you. She no longer plays the older sister.7

As you both lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, you both think about the events that have led you to this. You wonder where it all went wrong, and wonder what the future holds for the both of you apart. And as you both realize it’s finally over, you both whisper good-bye before closing your eyes, letting the tears fall just one time. 8