Come Home

I turn around and see you there. Smiling at me with arms wide open...1

... And I know I must be dreaming.2

I open my eyes and face the reality of my life; I am alone. You're never gonna come home.3

As usual; school is a blur. I show up. I laugh. I joke. I act like I'm better then everyone else.4

Inside I'm screaming.5

When I get home; it's the same story. I sign on msn. Nobody talks to me. Funny; the other day when I saw you; You were DYING to catch up with me. Liars. Fakes.6

I try talking to people; but then again; it's like I can't go a day without hearing that I've "killed something". What hurts the most is that I have to hear this from people I'm close to.7

This stops me from talking to anyone else. I can't do this.8

My life is so incredibly empty.9

My own friends like my schools friends; who they just met; better then they like me.10

Bullshit you want to fucking catch up.11

I try to stay up; just like I used to. I used to just have SO many people to talk to.12

But nobody wants to talk. So instead I sit here and hug my teddy bear; waiting for something to happen.13

Then I give up.14

I go to sleep...15

I am standing around with my "friends". They are all talking and laughing; but I'm just standing there.16

Then I turn around and see you there. Smiling at me with arms wide open...17

... And I know I must be dreaming.18

Once again; I open my eyes to reality. To the world I've come to detest so much.19

I don't want to be a part of this world anymore.20

And the reality is;21

I am alone.22

After another pointless day; I come home and sulk up to my room.23

And then I realize the truth. I'm afraid to be myself because nobody can accept me the way I am.24

And for that reason; I am alone.25

Without thinking; I climb out my window. I'm blank. On autodrive; just the way I always am. I walk around the corner and climb over the gate. I keep walking; not caring how much noise I make. 26

But of course you don't notice. You never did. I could have kept drinking and smoking and you wouldn't have even noticed.27

You have no idea what you're doing to me.28

I remember the time that girl wrote a suicide note in the bathroom. I bitched and laughed with all the other girls; but I secretely felt for her. Because nobody understands me; so how can we even begin to understand how she's feeling?29

And as I keep walking; further towards the lake; I repeat the same words over in my head.30

"Come home come home come home come home come home come home... "31

You promised me you'd call. You never touched the dial.32

You'll never take the chance to come home.33

I jump. The lake is freezing; the cold bites at my skin.34

But I hold my breath...35

I turn around and see you there. Smiling at me with arms wide open...36

... And yet... something tells me I'm not dreaming.37

I run into your arms. Finally; I have found my way home.