Cranberry Screams Chpt.1

She screamed all of her feelings and emotions collided with the exhaustion. She had finally reached her peak. And knew that she couldn’t go any farther. She had no thoughts of suicide whatsoever, but humiliation was what had collaborated into her views. She had finally hated herself. More than anything or anyone! She was disgusted by the fact that she let herself live from day to day… 1

She wanted to die. So badly she just wanted it to be over with, and done. She loathed the fact that she had to get up in the morning and think about ‘him’.. and how his arm was around another woman. Not her. And she knew that she couldn’t never take that place. He could never look at her the way her looked at his significant other. 2

He never took time out of his day just to call and check up on her. 3

He; by no means told her what she wanted to always here. Whenever they fought, he made her suffer guilt. And it killed her. It killed her so bad, once she thought of ending her life. But never portrayed it. However, the thoughts of her not being the ‘unsurpassed’ and the ‘first’ mercerized her heart. It torn it up to shreds and ripped it out. It stepped on it. Killed it. Slaughter it. And maimed it in a whole. 4

Her heart was swollen with disbelief. Had her heart finally came to a stop? Had the weakness lastly had set in, and she couldn’t go any further. 5

The thoughts of him and his love, tightly mingled together was more than enough to make her sick. Him kissing her, and her kissing back. Made her grow appalled. Especially at he fact that he told her she had no right to. 6

Flabbergasted she was,… no one told her she had the right to be upset. That, it wasn’t alright to feel hurt and betrayed/ It wasn’t appropriate to cry and cry… until it was impossible to feel any sorrow any more. 7

To literally cry everything out in bang-wish. For her eyes to inch and burn, from the dryness that had been absorbed. 8

Its as if she deserved this pain. Like it was meant for her. Some churisal punishment that was inflected daily on her.9

She woke up in the morning and was forced to get out of bed. But when and instead she rather stay in tranquil, in her magnificent paradise; her dreams. Being pried and pushed to look into the mirror was god awful. She loathed the unforgettable image. One day she knew she’d son be happy with that frightful image. But that day had soon to come… 10