A Child's Christmas

It was December. She was nine months shy of turning one. I was two months shy of turning nine. We were sisters. She could barely hold her head up, I held mine too high. 1

It had been snowing for weeks. Almost as long as Mommy and I had been shopping. Yet, no matter how many times I went shopping, I still couldn't decide on something that she, mommy, would like. Daddy said mommy would like for some quiet. I didn't know where to buy that, so I got her the next best thing--a photo of my baby sister and I from the day of her birth in an expensive silver frame. Daddy helped me wrap it.2

I also couldn't decide on something for my best friend, Maggie. She was probably the hardest person to shop for other than Mommy and Daddy and my baby sister, Bree. Remembering about Maggie's new puppy, I settled for doggy presents. Not once realizing that I wasn't exactly buying the gifts for my best friend but rather for her dog, I wrapped the presents singing anything that came to mind--which was all the Christmas carols I could remember from our school Christmas concert--and set her gifts under our tree that loomed over me with that beautiful white angel sitting proudly on top.3

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... a partridge in a pear tree..."4

I distinctly remember singing the first line of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" loudly when it was exactly twelve days before Christmas. I would sing that very first line for an hour, possibly more, before Daddy told me to hush. I was always hushed because I liked to sing one line of the song until Christmas day came, when I would be able to sing the song fully. (One line of the song until Christmas I always thought.) After Daddy's scolding, I went to my room and sang it there over and over and over again. In my head. To my dolls. To imaginary friends. To the stars. 5

* * *6

I counted down the days until Christmas in excitement and the days until Christmas Eve with more anticipation because on Christmas Eve I always baked cookies for Santa and I was always allowed to open one gift after I baked cookies. 7

Finally, it was Christmas Eve. After I'd taken my gift for Maggie and her dog over to her house and after I'd baked my cookies for Santa, I was now able to jump up and down in front of the tree and yell, "Mommy! It's Christmas Eve! It's Christmas Eve!"8

Mommy came into the room with Bree on her shoulder and a camera in hand. "Okay, which one are you going to open?"9

"This one!" I pulled out the biggest one I could find that held a tag with my name on it. (I'd had my eye on it since it showed up beneath the tree.)10

"No. You know the biggest ones are always for Christmas day," Mommy said.11

"Yeah, I know," I scowled at her before finding one I figured wouldn't be as spectacular as the bigger box.12

"And find one for your sister," Mommy added.13

"But she can't open it. She can't do anything yet."14

Mommy gave me a look and I muttered, "Fine" before I dug out a present for Bree. 15

I ripped the paper to shreds and I was amazed. I had a new Barbie car. And it was pink too! It would go perfectly with the Barbie house I already had!16

While Bree worked her way soggy-ing up the paper with her baby gums, I sat on my knees impatiently waiting to see what she'd received until I couldn't take it anymore and I said, "Here, I'll show you how to open it!" before I tore the gift from my baby sister's minuscule hands and tore the wet paper from the largely-boxed-toy. 17

"Look, Bree, you got a... Mommy, what is it?"18

"It's an activity gym."19

"Bree, you got an activity gym!" I cried ecstatically, not knowing what an activity gym was, but nevertheless being excited for my sister.20

And every year, it was always the same fight, right after baking my cookies and opening gifts, it began:21

"Please, Mommy, just one more?" 22

"No, if I let you open another one, you'll want to open another. And then you won't have any left for tomorrow."23

"No, I won't, I promise. Just one more?"24

"No, you're not going to have any tomorrow."25

"That's okay. I don't need any presents for tomorrow."26

"Yes, you do."27

"No, I don't."28

"I said no."29

I never did win any of those fights.30

After leaving out milk and the cookies I'd baked for Santa, carrots for Rudolph and the other reindeer, I was sent to bed after taking a bath. 31

Christmas morning came and I rushed to the living room. I probably woke the neighbourhood by how loudly I shrieked with joy at the sight of more presents that were beneath, and surrounding, the tree. Mommy, Daddy and Bree came into the living room and we opened our gifts while I sang the song I'd started eleven days earlier. 32

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords-a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids-a-milking, seven swans-a-swimming, six geese-a-laying, five gold rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree..."33

...34

A few days after Christmas, Mommy and Daddy had a party to celebrate the New Year. When I went home from my Grams' the next morning after the New Year had arrived, I found the frame I'd bought Mommy for Christmas in the trash. The glass was shattered, chipped and charred. The photo gone but the frame still remaining in that wastebasket, I was crushed. I took the frame, leaving the broken shards of glass in the trash, and went to my room and cried. 35

Later that same day, I discovered that Maggie's puppy had been run over by a car down her grandfather's road. I couldn't help feeling that this was the worst Christmas ever. And only being eight, I was devastated. I didn't understand how such a good day Christmas had been and how fun a month December had been could both go down the drain so easily after it had came and passed. I soon decided that I didn't want to celebrate Christmas anymore. 36

However... 37

... as foolish as childish promises tend to sometimes go, I was excited again later that year when Halloween had passed and the snow began to fall in early November. Because it meant only one thing to me--Christmas was coming...38