"So, I had a dream last night...." I sighed.1
"These nachos taste like my gym socks." Lark licked the plate clean.2
"I had to pee..." 3
"Where the hell did the toilet paper go?"4
"I was dead.... I think.... and I saw a light"5
"You're a mean one.... Mr Grinch..." Lark began to sing.6
"And, when I reached the light, I was in a bathroom."7
"I GOTTA PEE!"8
"Do you think I look pregnant?"9
"My but hurts."10
"I swear these jeans fit me yesterday. I must be gaining weight..."11
"If I were a pirate..."12
"I think I'd be pregnant."13
"WHAT?!"14
"Either the baby's coming, or the vomit is."15
"I once found bugs bunny attractive when he put on a skirt and pretended to be a girl."16
"I thought Yu-gi-oh was HAWT until someone told me he was gay."17
"If I were a freaking dragon..."18
"I think I just wet myself."19
"I wanna be one with wings."20
"Wait a minute! I don't think I'm wearing my underwear!"21
"Darn it, I missed The Office again."22
"Oh wait no, I'm wearing my swimsuit to the party tomorrow."23
"What's that smell?!"24
"When was the last time I fed my goldfish. Oh wait, I was hungry yesterday."25
"HEY! YOU STUFFED YOUR PANTS WITH MY TOILET PAPER!!!"26
I pulled out about thirty rolls of toilet paper, "Huh, that explains why I looked pregnant."27
"OMI GAWD, what the heck is this!" Lark points to a brown smudge on the toilet.28
"That is dove." I replied and shoved it into my mouth. "I once saw a shower full of dancing can-can women, of 'course, I was unexplainably drunk at the time."29
"I'm going to take a shower. Give me my toilet paper."30
I handed him his toilet paper, "Whispering's my favorite."31
Lark walks away.32
"If I died today, would I make any noise, if no one was here to watch me die?"33
~20 min later~34
"I think Lark fell in the toilet, but I don't want to make sure. There was a cocaroach in there once, and I might eat it."35
~an hour later~36
"Whats taking him so long? I think you'd die from all that pee. And if he was crapping.... God forbid he would've died long ago."37
I walk into the bathroom to find the windo open and a rope of toilet paper hanging from the pillow.38
"Maybe, I should've told him I was kidding about the pregnancy...."39
On the toilet was a note:40
' The toilet is broken.... I went out to nature to take care of some bussiness... Leave the window open so I can come back in.'41
Of course I didn't see the note. So I closed the window and watched the recorded shows I had.42
Later at night, Lark came back, but the window was locked, so he tried to open it. In his constant movement, the toiletpaper ripped, and he fell down. He was in the hospital for three months recovering. By then, I was already divorced, remarried, and in another state, with the same conversation with another husband.43
"So, I had a dream last night...." I sighed.44
"These nacho's taste like my gym socks." Lucas liked the plate clean.
Author notes
For a contest.... Its a conversation in a short story. 
Hope you like.
A contest entry
- How Random Are You? by iCats.
175 points, ended November 8, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Meh....
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I once saw a shower full of dancing can-can women, of 'course, I was unexplainably drunk at the time
you totally got that from me! lol -
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yeah, it was in my head so bad, I thought this was the best way to get it out... but what was sad was I didn't know the exact words.... so its still in my head. xD
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i once saw a chorus of purple wombats singing showtunes in my shower. of course, i was pretty drunk at the time.
-michael garibaldi from babylon 5
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OH MY GOD, YOU WERE MARRIED TO BOTH TWINS?!?!?!?
Neph: *bursts in with a gun* NO WAY, CHICK! THEY'RE MINE!... Dear Lord, Miriam, I hate you for making me say that...
I know. Er.. ANYWHOO, nice story! I laughed too hard.. 
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lol Thanks....
Uhm... Neph... it was a skit..... THey volentered as long as it had to do with toiletpaper and peeing.
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Neph: I know.. Miriam was being mean again...
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Hey.
Thanks for entering.
I seriously love it, it's left me confused yet smiling and laughing. Although i'm still not sure why he didn't try the door... Lol.
Thanks once again for entering good luck.
Staci
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Me neither, but thats Lark. ^^;
Thanks. ^^
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's way too hilarious. My mom and dad were giving me weird faces as i was choking on my laughter lmao!!!!! i want to marry you.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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LOl, I would sleep with an eye open then. You might wake up in a looney ben.... like I did once. xD but it was getto and home made so I escaped.
Uhmmmm.... okay.......
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