You Can't Always Have What You Want

As I stared over at the girl getting into her Mercedes, she was laughing while chatting on her Blackberry. I looked around and sat on the curb, waiting for my abusive boyfriend to come pick me up. 1

I didn't really want to date him, but I had to. I was eighteen and didn't have a place to live. As soon as I was eighteen, my parents kicked me out. I didn't have anywhere to go, until I met Jason. 2

Jason was a bad boy, someone you didn't want to mess with. He drank, he smoke, and he did drugs. He was twenty-two and still lived at home with his parents. Sure, I hated him, but where else was I supposed to go? 3

I watched longily as the girl, Trish, pulled out of the parking lot, waving to her friends. She's probably going to get pedicures and facials done with her sister. Then she'll spend a quiet night with her boyfriend, probably watching a scary movie that makes her scream and hold onto him, I thought bitterly. I wiped away a lone tear that was streaking down my face.4

I looked up and realized I was the only girl left in the parking lot. I looked at my watch and realized he was a half an hour late. He always was though, you eventually got used to it. 5

I watched as his beat-up car cruised into the parking lot. My mouth fell open as I saw him with another girl. A cigerette was hanging out of his mouth as he talked to her, snaking his hand up her skirt right in front of me. 6

Pissed off, I stood up, ready for a fight.7

***8

I was sitting in my red Mercedes, talking to my braniac boyfriend on the phone. "Trish," he said in his British accent. "Do you want to watch a movie tonight? My place."9

Another boring night sitting with Brian as he tried to get up enough bravery to wrap his arm around me or hold my hand. "Sure," I said cheerfully. I didn't want to, but I couldn't hurt his feelings. 10

I watched the baddest girl in our school pull out a pack of cigerretes and light up. She is so cool, I thought. She had an eighteen year old boy friend, who she lived with! She went out to party everynight and probably ended up going home drunk, but feeling good.11

Damn I wished I was her. I reached over for my purse but didn't feel the cool leather. I brushed my hair out of my face and looked over. "Shit," I muttered, turning around. "Forgot my purse at school." 12

I turned the car around and headed back towards the school.