Chapter One.
{Rewriting the Story I lost so long ago. I can assure you, the beginning and set-up to the main plot will probably be mundane and rocky so please put up with me for the time being}
1
Beginning.
I had spent my entire life in this one room. I awoke to every sunrise in this room and fell asleep beneath every moon I had ever lived through. This room, my bedroom, now seemed so unfamiliar to me. It was uncomprehendable how easy it had been to pack up my entire life in old cardboard boxes and make this room which had been my home, seem so foreign to me. I stared at the blue walls which had previously hung my memories and saw nothing but absence. Today was not a sad day but when I stood in this room, I felt sorrow hang heavy in the stale air. Today was really a day for accomplishments and new goals to be set, for today I was going off to college. This bedroom which once safely held me in its comforting four walls was now being left behind for a dorm room which held nothing but a stranger to me and old memories of previous owners from years after years of constant abandonment. For me though, leaving home was not necessarily a bad or a good thing. I was conveniently comfortable in my living situation at home, no one bothered me and I did not bother anyone else. It was not perfect but that's not what people really search for, they really just want somewhere that can get them through the day. A place where they can leave the razor successfully hidden in the underwear drawer and the sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet and never need to open either one. Home was that kind of place, where neither a frown nor smile crept up on my unsuspecting face and it did not bother me. I was going to miss home for that one reason.2
"Darcie?” a voice called from in the doorway, it was my mother. She stood there with a worried expression on her face, probably waiting for me to collapse at any moment. Little did she know, I was leaving myself emotionless today so that no such thing would happen. "Are you okay?" She nudged.3
"Don't worry", I soothed, making sure to keep my voice emotionless. "I am just fine." My mother took that response and disappeared from my doorway. I gathered the last of my belongings and followed my family out to the car. As I walked out of my house, I realized it would be a long time until I re-entered. I figured it was best emotionally for myself and my family that I did not visit too soon or too often. I could not remain attached to one life while starting another life, I had to choose. 4
The ride to my college was long, about five hours with average traffic. I kept myself occupied with the images flashing by through the backseat window. At first I could see the tall buildings standing strongly through the city's sunrise but after a couple hours the only thing that could be seen were trees and hills in the distance. I was definitely not at home anymore. The more things became unfamiliar to me, the closer I knew we were to my college campus. Another indicator was the hills. The farther we drove, the higher the hills rose until they escalated into mountains. It was a beautiful sight and one of the main reasons I chose my college. The mountains were so peaceful and when I had visited the college last fall, they were patchwork patterns from the changing leaves. I looked at the now green mountains and began my wait with anticipation for the fall to quickly arrive. 5
We reached the college at ten o'clock, exactly when move-in time began. I twiddled my thumbs nervously as I looked into the backseat filled with my belongings. I began to second guess all the things I brought, thinking I had too much. The school assigned older students to help the freshman move in and they would probably judge me on how much stuff I brought. I was most likely going to be a huge bothersome to them but when I stepped out of the car, I saw that everyone else had about the same amount as me. I blew out a sigh of relief. Regardless of the fact that it was a respectable amount of things, it still took awhile to move everything up. I quickly tried to unpack and find a perfect place for everything to go before the next box would make its way up the elevator. To my luck, there was a long line of parents waiting to bring up boxes to their sons and daughters so my parents were delayed. 6
The sun began to set and five o'clock rolled around on the digital clock I had unpacked. Finally my things were unpacked and it actually started to look like a room I could live in, not just a collection of overused furniture in a concrete block called a room. My roommate, who I had met earlier that day, had been done packing for over an hour now. She settled on her freshly made bed and relaxed. We had not talked yet and it did not seem like we were ever going to, which was fine with me. I was not bothered with the stiffening quietness. 7
Tears welled up in my mother's eyes as she stood in the doorway of what was officially my dorm room. I knew what this meant now, she had to leave. When we left the house this morning I was not sad at all, but knowing she was going home without me tugged at my heart. I didn't want her to go and leave me behind. Wordlessly I walked her out to the car, my lips trembling with the sobs I was holding back. It was so weird, I had never felt like this before, I didn't like this feeling. I hugged my mother tightly, and mid-embrace she whispered in my ear.8
"You be careful, okay Darcie?" She warned. I merely nodded, not wanting to talk with my quivering voice. "I know you are a good girl and will keep out of trouble but college is different than home. Things happen here that you would never expect. Don't let yourself fall into trouble." She pulled back from our embrace, proud that she had managed to say the speech she had probably been practicing in her head for the past hour.9
"Don't forget to call." Were her last words before she loaded into the car with the rest of my family and drove away. I stood there and waved, never managing to mumble the words 'good bye'. 10
I woke up with the strangest feeling the next morning. At first I thought college would be hard to get used to, the unusual surroundings, different living situation, and the unfamiliar people. But sleeping in a strange bed over night changed me, subtly. I guess being abandoned from your home makes you quickly adjust to new surroundings. Or maybe this place really was a home to me. Regardless of these petty thoughts I lifted my body from my bed. I grabbed my bathroom bag and headed down the hall to take a much appreciated shower. The hot water pounding down on my aching back was absolutely pleasurable. 11
After my shower I got dressed and dried my hair. I ran my long brown hair through my hair straightener and placed my bangs neatly on my forehead, their ends touching against my eyelashes. I checked the mirror once, looking for any errors before venturing out of my dorm room. I did not want to keep myself cooped up in my room, I wanted to get out onto campus and interact with people. College was important not only educationally but socially. The Darcie I had always known myself to be was quiet, reserved and scared. I never wanted to be like that but it was unstoppable, who I was. College is an excuse to change yourself and your life, I was going to use that to the best of my advantage.12
Fellow classmates had already gathered in little groups about the campus. Some sat in the grassy areas about campus, some found benches to sit on, and others just stood around. I walked through the campus, exploring its grounds and becoming familiar with its twisted paths. I had managed to find the campus store, cafeteria, mail room and one of my classroom buildings. When leaving the mailroom I noticed a large staircase leading to what looked like a rooftop. Out of curiosity I climbed the stairs and was led onto a flat rooftop which had a concrete railing all around its edges. One side, that wasn’t blocked by buildings and trees, you could look over its edge and see over the entire campus. Below I watched students walking and mingling with one another. In the background I could see the trees with a million shades of green, and the gorgeous mountains. I was memorized with the view, trying to soak everything in. I don’t know how long I stood there, but the sun started setting into the horizon. Its golden rays touched along the tree tops and made deep shadows on the campus. The campus was now empty, classes had ended and students had wandered back to their dorm rooms - expect for one boy.13
There was one bench pushed up against a large brick wall that sat directly towards the sunset. Seated on that bench was a boy with honey brown hair that fell right above his eyelashes and a creamy skin completion. From what I could tell he was tall, lean and quite muscular underneath his fitting black long-sleeved shirt. It was hard to see certain details so far away but from this rooftop I could tell he was extremely breathtaking. The mountain view couldn't even compete with the beauty emulating from this mere boy. I wonder if he could feel my eyes transfixed on him because his eyes suddenly darted up at me, they were an emerald green, holding an angry expression. My skin was suddenly turned hot and I looked away. It was embarrassing to have been caught staring so stalkerish at some attractive boy like an obsessed fan girl.14
I only looked away for a few moments before my eyes turned back to the boy, not willing to look away for long. When I turned back there was only an empty bench, the boy was gone. I walked back to my dorm in a daze, I felt as if I had just imagined the entire thing. That there couldn’t have been that breathtaking boy on this campus and I had clearly lost my mind. That sounded quite reasonable. 15
CHAPTER TWO16
17
Questions? Concerns? Comments?
Comments
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So...It's about three thirty in the morning and I'm jonesing for a cigarette. I was about to don my jacket and head outside (Smoke is disgusting. Let it kill nature and not my cat.)but I tell myself I'll look at one more strangers page and see what they have to offer. That page was yours. How fortuitous was that circumstance?
Your story had me from the first sentence. That first paragraph is fantastic. It comes alive. It's a fine example of why people should write: Because writing is beautiful. The sentence that starts "A place where they can leave the razor successfully..." was particularly good.
Hell...I think I've rambled enough. And I'm still jonesing for that smoke...
You just got started on this site, didn't you? I can't recall...I've seen too many pages this morning. Just take this edits below as nicely as possible; I intended them well and I'd hate to go preschool on your ass.
Good luck on this site and all that nice stuff...
Paragraph2 (I guess it's actually the first paragraph, but it't not numbered that way.):"Today was really a day for accomplishes..." Accomplishments? Call me crazy...
P5: "...the hills rose until they escaladed into mountains." If I'm thinking right-probably not-an escalade is a car and an ancient battle tactic. Something involving walls...I think you meant escalate...
P13: "I don't know how long I stood there for..."--For is unneeded.
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I REALLY LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT 2 READ MORE!!!!!! ;D
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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