“Mayday, mayday... Engine one and three down... this is Captain Bill Delaney of Flight 225 requesting immediate clearance for landing.”1
Beside him, his co-pilot, Thomas Kelley tapped at one read-out on an array of instrument panels. “We’re losing altitude!” 2
They both lurched in their seats as a loud bang accompanied Thomas’s exclamation. 3
Bill spoke into the radio mouthpiece again, urgently trying to elicit a response. He couldn’t feel or see it yet, but he could imagine the flames licking through the hull of the plane from the explosion. He dreaded the smell of acrid smoke that would soon follow.4
“Losing fuel like nothing else,” Thomas noted, staring out at the sky. 5
Bill eased the controls to bank left in response to directions received through his earpiece. “It’s going to be tight, but LAX has got a runway clear. Tell the crew to prepare everyone for a wild ride.”6
Thomas nodded and lifted the intercom to his lips, speaking clearly, though urgently.7
Without breaking concentration, Bill adjusted his cap and said, “We’ll make it, Tom. I’ve been in stickier situations before.”8
As if to test his confident resolve, both pilot and co-pilot lurched to their right sides as alarms blared. 9
“Fire in engine two... dammit! Cut off the fuel in the lines or we’re doomed!”10
Thomas stabbed buttons on the panel in response to the Captain’s insistent demand. More lights flashed. “Last engine is struggling. I’m praying that you can glide her down if it goes.”11
“Come on, baby.” Bill grabbed the stick and his arms shuddered. He’d bring them down safe, he just knew it. They’d flown together too many times to crash now.12
Thomas jumped as something small impacted on the glass and left a smear of red. “Bird?” he queried, his focus temporary shifting.13
“Don’t worry about the poor thing. It’ll be us if we’re not careful.”14
The cabin door behind them rattled. Thomas glanced at Bill, worry stretching across his features.15
“I’ll keep her steady, Tom... you go see what they want.”16
Thomas left his seat, conferred at the door for several seconds and then came back. “Lunch,” he said, the simple word hanging in the suspense of the moment. 17
Bill grunted. “At a time like this... when we’re nearly seconds away from a possible fiery crash?”18
Thomas nodded as he returned to his seat. “There’s a break in the clouds – I can see the runway!”19
“Air speed good, engine four still holding out. Looks like we’re going to make it.”20
The door behind them flung open.21
“And now it’s raining – dear God – is anything else going to go wrong?”22
“There will be trouble if you two boys don’t come out for lunch now...” The woman’s clear and authoritative voice behind them bespoke consequences for noncompliance. 23
Bill inwardly cursed – they were so close. “O come on Mum, we’re...”24
“Billy, lunch is ready now. You can come back to playing later. Remember – your cousin is here for the entire weekend – and it won’t hurt you two to come out of the cabin and enjoy the outdoors for a bit either.”25
“But...”26
“No buts, Billy. If you don’t come out now, you’ll make me wish your father and I never bought you that play set. And take off your father’s hat – you know he doesn’t like you getting it grubby.”27
Billy sighed as he switched the lights off his latest Christmas present and then lifted the Captain’s cap from his head.28
One day he’d be an ace pilot just like his Dad. He just knew it.
Author notes
Part of a series of flash fics that I am writing as part of my NaNoWriMo project. Mostly unedited, but all critiques (apart from grammar - these I'll fix myself later) are welcome.
A contest entry
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Hey tallblondie,
Read and commented on this before. Enjoyed reading it this time too
Steve -
Well I never saw that coming! Excellent!
The way you used to two different meanings of the word "cabin" was extremely clever.
"Cut off the fuel in the lines or we’re doomed!" - When I initially read this I thought this line added a little bit of child-like melodrama but reading the story again knowing the context it was an excellent subtle clue of what was to come.
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Very good
Hi Tallblondie--- This is a very well crafted piece of work. You had me living the tragedy, right up till mom laid down the law. I can usually see though most stories and anticipate the ending, but this one stumped me.
Congratulations and good luck with your writing.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
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Haha, you had me all along.
This seemed like a typical 'mayday' drama. You still had me with the lunch announcement; I simply thought it was going to have a random turn in the story.
There's nothing much to poke at except for two places, one being: [temporary] in (13) should be 'temporarily'; the second being: [Bill inwardly cursed] --> probably 'cursed inwardly' would sound more smoother.
That's all from me.
It was a great read with a twist; kudos for that. I think you won't need to be doing a lot of editing for this story as it's almost impeccable as it is.
Good luck in my contest!
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Wow!
i was drawed in from the beginning "Mayday!" Awesome story! -
Very cool
I thought they were going to be little red smears among twisted wreckage. Thank God for mums & lunch time! ...And it was well written too.
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nice! I didn't see that coming. I loved it, didn't see anything wrong with it ^^
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Mm--love it! I can just picture the scenery and the voices.
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good
ha, that was good, didn't see that coming. made me laugh tho, -
Hey tallblondie,
Had me going right up to the lunch announcement. Didn't see anything to critique. Thanks for the chuckle
Steve
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haha thats cooli like the way you've done it
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