Two sentences for Lady Pixie

The water rushes around me, boiling hot. I feel the flesh being ripped from my muscles and bones, the smell is horrific, and worse of all my wife is watching all this as it happens.

Author notes

This is not part of any existing work, if that's what you want I can submit another instead? let me know

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    November 15
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    Doesn't have to be part of any existing work

    Excellent and creepy two sentences here
    You captured my interest certainly.

    Only thing I caught was: worse of all should actually be worst of all

    Overall, well written and great work here. Dark imagery and visuals.
    Good job!

    Thank you very much for your entry!

    Pixie


  • seamus gold member
    November 7

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    Pretty good

    worst of all. Again, I think present tense might be more dramatic, The water rushes around me. I feel flesh being ripped from muscle and bones, the smell is horrific...